yeah re-recording the vocals are top priority. it's a hard song to sing for some reason, i really have NO idea why i'm so pitchy in this one. my gf says i'm just trying to hard, lol.
thanks for the comment rozovian, i can't wait to get this shit on the front page
The timing of the instrumentation and the performance in the intro don't seem quite lined up. You're occasionally not hitting the notes quite right in pitch either, 1:40 being a prime example of this. Consider re-recording some of the lines, or pitch correcting them artificially.
I like the vocals. You've got a nice voice and I can't hear anything wrong with how it's recorded. You might want to pair the intensity of the instrumentation and the vocal performance better. 2:25 you hit the vocals with a performance much more intense than the instrumentation. The instruments are sweet and soft, which is not how your vocals sound.
But hey, cool stuff, keep working on it.
Interesting sound choices. Would be cool to hear this with a vocalist.
I wouldn't fade in the bass. That seems like an odd choice. Maybe use a weaker bass and bring in the proper bass eg at 0:17. Alternatively, you can start it off with the bass groove properly loud. You already signal the start of the track proper with the break pre 0:17, so I can imagine either suggestion working.