Arrangement-wise, this used the theme well in adapting it for a more upbeat genre. Interesting approach going for a kind of grade-up Secret of Mana-style instrumentation. The combination of 16-bit sounds with other instrumentation was good, but the muddy mixing and bland beat-writing ultimately dragged this down for me.
The bowed strings at :50 didn't sound good IMO because the attacks sounded slightly behind, but maybe it's just an acquired taste, since the 16-bit tone was at least super-authentic.
I didn't feel the buzzy synth in the opening section was as negative as Deia did, but I still agreed with her that it was too upfront and distracting; perhaps pulling it back some would work better.
The beats/kicks at 1:17 had beef to 'em, but the writing was really vanilla, so I was waiting for something more interesting to happen with the perc writing. Then the perc writing shifted into something more boom-tss with the cymbals coming in at 1:45, but it's still a pretty basic, too-straightforward beat that ultimately dragged out.
Plus, the mixing didn't make much sense, with the beats being nearly the same volume as the lead. When the bowed strings then came back at 2:12, the writing was good, but the part mostly added clutter to the soundscape because a lot of these parts occupied the same frequency range.
3:06's finish had some parts drop out, clearing up the soundscape some.
I think the development of the track went well in the right direction, but more sophisticated and varied beat-writing and cleaner mixing would be enough to get this passed, IMO. Promising stuff so far, Jonas, so I really hope you're willing to revisit this again. Would love to have you finally get Legend of Mana up on the board here at OCR, and what's in place now is well along the way and just needs some additional refinements.
So I have a project I've been working on recently that I'm not sure how to tag. It's essentially a remix of someone else's remix (a doujin artist specifically). I want my tagging to reflect that I borrowed heavily from the doujin artist's arrangement without implying collaboration. I considered doing "Me vs. %Artist% - %Title% (%Version%)", but to me the "vs." implies the collaboration of the other party. If anyone has suggestions they would be appreciated!
Deia has this dead-on, I think. Those low-fi sounds are really questionable, IMHO. 1:45-3:06 is especially problematic because the "noise" accompanying some of the synths is creating conflict, especially with the hats, and the effect is sort of a wash of white noise. That section is also pretty long and static; I was ready for it to be over at 2:39, and the additions to it after that point were quite subtle. It could really use a solo or something thrown in there to break up the simple melodic hook. Maybe something from a different source, or some original writing.
Sorry, but right now I think both the sounds and the lack of development are holding this back.