HoboKa Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Link: http://www.mediafire.com/?2idauo2r1staqgu Source tune is on youtube...too tired to link rite now. Definitely got the David Wise Vibes...Wise Vibes lol. I spent like 8 hours straight on this...soon as I stopped working on it, I just felt a rush of fatigue hit me like a truck; so if there's something blatantly off here that I missed, I apologize ahead of time =p Crits please!! Update 1: http://www.mediafire.com/?45qyk0s350j5y8h Update 2: http://www.mediafire.com/?60rw96ptjl66p39 Update 3/4 (don't ask): http://www.mediafire.com/?bdl0xbmhqbbdmcy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkSim Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 Probably my favourite source tune ever, so YOU BETTER DO IT JUSTICE OK?!?! Interesting choice of synths at the start - the bitcrushed bell thing isn't really working for me, I think there's too much downsampling going on there and it's detracting from the character of the sound too much. There may also be a little too much detuning on the pad synth, resulting in a slight clashing. This is especially prevalent when the organ comes in - just not sure an organ (at least one that prominent - a nice mellow one with not much low end might work perfectly) has a place in your current soundscape. I do like the trancey style arps you have, and the bells once they're not being crushed sound cool, maybe add a little more delay to them (try ping pong delay to get a nice stereo effect). The piano sounds pretty decent, and the saw synth lead also sounds good. The percussion is sequenced well, and has some nice variation, but could do with sounding a bit more cohesive - the hat is quite exposed as it is, whereas the snare sounds far back in the mix. Try some other reverb options and EQ on the drums, and an open hat or some reverse cymbal action wouldn't go amiss just to give the groove a bit more flow. I kinda get the feeling you did the intro, then as you were working on it, you evolved the sound without going back to check if the intro still sounded good with what you ended up with. I think if you redo the first minute of the song based on the feel of the rest of the song, you'll have a much better remix here. Detailed crits cos I like the source... good luck and have fun with the mix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 3, 2012 Author Share Posted January 3, 2012 Probably my favourite source tune ever, so YOU BETTER DO IT JUSTICE OK?!?!Interesting choice of synths at the start - the bitcrushed bell thing isn't really working for me, I think there's too much downsampling going on there and it's detracting from the character of the sound too much. There may also be a little too much detuning on the pad synth, resulting in a slight clashing. This is especially prevalent when the organ comes in - just not sure an organ (at least one that prominent - a nice mellow one with not much low end might work perfectly) has a place in your current soundscape. I do like the trancey style arps you have, and the bells once they're not being crushed sound cool, maybe add a little more delay to them (try ping pong delay to get a nice stereo effect). The piano sounds pretty decent, and the saw synth lead also sounds good. The percussion is sequenced well, and has some nice variation, but could do with sounding a bit more cohesive - the hat is quite exposed as it is, whereas the snare sounds far back in the mix. Try some other reverb options and EQ on the drums, and an open hat or some reverse cymbal action wouldn't go amiss just to give the groove a bit more flow. I kinda get the feeling you did the intro, then as you were working on it, you evolved the sound without going back to check if the intro still sounded good with what you ended up with. I think if you redo the first minute of the song based on the feel of the rest of the song, you'll have a much better remix here. Detailed crits cos I like the source... good luck and have fun with the mix Haha, yeah fun. Funny thing is, whilst I was mixing this track, apparently a burglar broke into our house and stole my dad's laptop (and corporate laptop), as well my parents' I.D. I'm surprised he didn't cave the back of my skull in with a hammer and make off with all my videogame stuff too On a much more positive note: I love the detailed crits here and will do my best to work the issues out (I personally really like the low-fi percussive bells, but maybe I can find some sort of way to make them sound more 'agreeable'). Thanks for the feedback Darksim Oh and btw I really love your mario golf remix - got that on my MP3 player ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 3, 2012 Author Share Posted January 3, 2012 http://www.mediafire.com/?45qyk0s350j5y8h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 ... wait, a burglar came into your house while you were mixing? Holy crap, if I had your level of concentration... *ahem* Anyway, I like your textures for this track (especially from :50 on). The gated textures really work well, and the extra light take on the soundscape is quite fitting. Holy crap, the harmonic trickery at 2:12 is awesome, as well... I might steal that one day. I will say you need a much stronger bassline, though. At the moment, it seems like the only thing that's taking up that spectrum is the bass drum. Since that drum is as strong as it is, you'll certainly need to sidechain your bassline a bit to fit it in at appropriate strength, but the fact remains that you're nearly missing a bass in this song. Beef it up. I think I'll withhold any other criticism until you get further in the track, though... partly because I'm lazy, at the moment. Anyway, I hear a good deal of potential in the track, so keep at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KM* Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 First impressions are that the percussion are little bit on the higher frequency but not too ear piercing. But when the song kicks in at 0:21 it seems to come down a bit. The hands claps/snare at 0:40 seem a little weird to me, the velocities are so varied/random on it, it sounds like two instruments playing instead one cohesive instrument. The synth at 1:44 starts getting a little ear-piercing and really bad at 2:05 and really deters from the quality of the song. But in general it's a pretty good song and if certain things were fixed I think I'd give it a yes. Looking forward to the next update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkSim Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Sounding better already, however this just makes me want to make an electro remix of this source now! See if you can add some more delay to the bells and piano to give it a more natural echoey feel, rather than repeating the same notes (you could use 2 delay modules on the same track, one for the short delay and one for the long). Sucks about the burglary, that must have been a strange feeling when you went to get some food/toilet and a load of electrical goods were missing! Hope you catch 'em! Oh and btw I really love your mario golf remix - got that on my MP3 player ^^ Thanks man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I'm listening on low levels atm, night here. not gonna comment on how loud it is, or anything about panning or loud shrill frequencies or anything related to loudness. Just fyi. I like the background sounds better than the foreground ones. The organ is especially bad. Sorry man, it is. Drums could be a little more varied/groovy/human, it feels like the bad kind of hip hop right now. Transitions could make more sense, the one at 1:00 is especially bad in that it's not a transition, it just sounds like you stitched a different part of your writing on there. No crash, the fill, no lead-in/lead-out, nothing. Moving from part to part in general seems to be one of your weak points, man, the 2:08 transition works well (and the 2:08 part is really cool, will be better with the drums and odd harmonies cleaned up ). I'll just list the transitions and their problems/merits: 0:21 works well, but the part that follows it a bit weak, and the organ doesn't fit in. 0:41 might be a transition. Flowed well enough for me to just skip past it. 1:00 just happens, nothing leading up to it, nothing leading out of the previous part. Dude. 1:38 works ok, but the snare fill preceding was exposed and machine-gunny. Solve that. 1:57 What? This just went into a different part for no apparent reason. Needs something to warn the listener that it's about to change, that's what fills and their like are for. Reverse cymbals also work, and nobody says a fill can't be halftempo. 2:08 works well. 2:36 works well. Hm, wasn't as bad as I thought. Another problem is your lead writing. You start quite high up and can only go higher, leading to some pretty shrill stuff sometimes. The melodies sometimes move in weird directions, as if a performer didn't know what note to use next and just picked something in the right scale. So, I'm totally hating on your track, dude. Some transitions need work, I hate the organ, the drums are exposed, the lead writing is weird at times, the backing stuff is really cool... You're just inconsistent. You're doing half of everything right. But in general it's a pretty good song and if certain things were fixed I think I'd give it a yes. Looking forward to the next update. Careful, those kinds of statements just lead to disappointments a la "but someone on the feedback board said it'd get a yes". Now you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 3, 2012 Author Share Posted January 3, 2012 So...many varied opinions...ug. Transitional issues and some of the original notation problems will be the most troublesome to tackle. *sigh* Looks like I'm going to need to patternize this entire thing instead of just using a single pattern - old habits die hard =p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 3, 2012 Author Share Posted January 3, 2012 Thanks man! np darkbimmy ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 So...many varied opinions...ug. Transitional issues and some of the original notation problems will be the most troublesome to tackle. *sigh* Looks like I'm going to need to patternize this entire thing instead of just using a single pattern - old habits die hard =p Wouldn't it be easier to not patternize it in this case? If you have the entire thing in the same pattern, you should have an easier time working on transitions as both parts are in the same pattern... you see them both, and can more easily write overlapping fills and frills and stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KM* Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 Careful, those kinds of statements just lead to disappointments a la "but someone on the feedback board said it'd get a yes". Now you know. I'm sure anything with "I like it" or similar would lead to disappointment if it didn't get Yes votes by the judges. I just hope most people have the sense to realize I'm not a judge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 3, 2012 Author Share Posted January 3, 2012 Wouldn't it be easier to not patternize it in this case? If you have the entire thing in the same pattern, you should have an easier time working on transitions as both parts are in the same pattern... you see them both, and can more easily write overlapping fills and frills and stuff. Maybe, I guess - maybe I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed here. Asking for feedback seems to be a double-edged blade for me sometimes haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 3, 2012 Author Share Posted January 3, 2012 I'm sure anything with "I like it" or similar would lead to disappointment if it didn't get Yes votes by the judges. I just hope most people have the sense to realize I'm not a judge. It's cool bro - thanks for your nice feedback. The J's aren't gods, despite that some ppl seem to like to throw them atop a totem pole and worship them so - nevertheless, I intend to submit this track eventually, so all feedback is good (and Rozo you don't need to baby us lol) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 I'm sure anything with "I like it" or similar would lead to disappointment if it didn't get Yes votes by the judges. I just hope most people have the sense to realize I'm not a judge. (and Rozo you don't need to baby us lol) Your skin is thick enough, dude (how else are you still here?), I'm more concerned with newbs and how they'll take their first rejection. It's best if they have a realistic idea of what to expect from subbing, which random yeses on here isn't. KM*, it's great that you're giving feedback around here. Keep it up. Just don't get into a habit of using yes as a verb here. Even if they know you're not a judge, they might interpret your personal yes as an assessment of how the track would fare on the panel. The workshop mods aren't judges either, which the mod FAQ also points out. Let's just avoid that misunderstanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KM* Posted January 3, 2012 Share Posted January 3, 2012 KM*, it's great that you're giving feedback around here. Keep it up. Just don't get into a habit of using yes as a verb here. Even if they know you're not a judge, they might interpret your personal yes as an assessment of how the track would fare on the panel. The workshop mods aren't judges either, which the mod FAQ also points out. Let's just avoid that misunderstanding. Of course. I'll keep my yeses to a minimum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 http://www.mediafire.com/?60rw96ptjl66p39 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkSim Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Hokay, so, let's have a listen! Sounds smoother overall, but there are still some rough edges that need ironing out on the production side. Still not too convinced about those bells at the start, sorry! They just sound a little exposed as they are. Some more reverb or less bitcrushing, or a different method of distortion could work better. The choir at the end could do with a longer release, as it stops abruptly (easy fix). The bass from the organ (did you add a high-cut filter?) is quite loud, I just did a frequency analysis in Audacity and it looks like it's around 500Hz. There's a gaping hole in the spectrum for the rest of the song though after the organ disappears, that could probably be filled by something else, maybe a return of the organ, or some other pad. The bass lacks a lot of power - is the kick overwhelming it? Try and boost the frequency of the kick at around 100Hz and cut it from the bass at 100Hz if it's being troublesome. Other than that, I love the new melodies you've incorporated, and the soundscape works well - it's got a very floaty, uplifting feel to it. Keep working at it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 Hokay, so, let's have a listen!Sounds smoother overall, but there are still some rough edges that need ironing out on the production side. Still not too convinced about those bells at the start, sorry! They just sound a little exposed as they are. Some more reverb or less bitcrushing, or a different method of distortion could work better. The choir at the end could do with a longer release, as it stops abruptly (easy fix). The bass from the organ (did you add a high-cut filter?) is quite loud, I just did a frequency analysis in Audacity and it looks like it's around 500Hz. There's a gaping hole in the spectrum for the rest of the song though after the organ disappears, that could probably be filled by something else, maybe a return of the organ, or some other pad. The bass lacks a lot of power - is the kick overwhelming it? Try and boost the frequency of the kick at around 100Hz and cut it from the bass at 100Hz if it's being troublesome. Other than that, I love the new melodies you've incorporated, and the soundscape works well - it's got a very floaty, uplifting feel to it. Keep working at it! Okay, I'll go see what I can do with those things you've pointed out. Thanks for your continued feedback Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sci Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 objection: the bitcrushed bell things in the intro are super rad and you should keep them. however, there's another synth in there that sounds really dissonant/off-key as it slowly rises. either toss that or make it increase pitch smoothly (instead of in steps) (if this makes any sense) </2 cents> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 objection: the bitcrushed bell things in the intro are super rad and you should keep them.however, there's another synth in there that sounds really dissonant/off-key as it slowly rises. either toss that or make it increase pitch smoothly (instead of in steps) (if this makes any sense) </2 cents> Yes actually it does, cuz it was actually how the midi was made, and I was too lazy to do the pitch bend myself haha. I can fix that easily though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 7, 2012 Author Share Posted January 7, 2012 http://www.mediafire.com/?bdl0xbmhqbbdmcy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJthemusicdude Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 My own thoughts on the mix: I love me some brambles so I know I had to come listen to this. Overall I really enjoyed it. There's enough going on to listen and enjoy. This is just my opinion so take it with a grain on salt. =p Things I loved: The ending, around 1:38 - 1:47 this part is really crisp and awesome. Things I didn't love as much. The intro. I'm not a fan of those off-tune distorted bells. They almost made me turn off the mix right there. I dunno, personal taste I guess. The mellow bit in the middle starting around 1:08 seemed to drag on for a while. It was kinda cool at first but I lost some of the momentum from the mix there. Again, just my two cents, overall I think it's very neat :] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anorax Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 Ok, so I'm listening to v4 at half-system volume and headphones that came with my Samsung Galaxy Player, an I notice that the percussion at :22 is really powerful in the upper frequency range, like 8k o 14k. It's almost painful, and I'm listening at half-volume. (Then again, I usually have Windows Media Player at half-volume o less to prevent hearing damage, I get enough of that in percussion class. I'm listening to your mix through Chrome's built-in audio player at 100% player, 50% master volume) I think the bitcrush is a bit much on the opening bells. --- One thing I notice throughout the song is that you seem to expand your sound in one direction: higher and higher in frequency. Don't be afraid to filter parts even if it's only slightly. You might want to use a spectrameter (or whatever it's called) and check for spikes while mixing. Other than this, I don't really have any complaints. (ahaha bullshit oxymoron, but whatever) Oh, one more thing, if you really want, you can humanize your track a bit more, even if it's as simple as randomizing velocities by 10% or something like that. Maybe offset some notes. Whatever, it's all up to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 8, 2012 Author Share Posted January 8, 2012 Ok, thx for the crits guys, I'll see what I can do with the EQ/mix issues. I think I'll take a risk with the bit-crush bells on the J panel though , as I've had varied opinions on them, which to me sounds more like a subjective rather than an absolute matter - it may be leaning more towards the no-bit-crush bells but oh well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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