Chimpazilla Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) Contact Information ReMixer Name: Prower Real Name: Jordan Ale Email Address: Website: https://soundcloud.com/officialprower User ID: 53206 Submission Information Name of game arranged: Sonic The Hedgehog, 1991 Name of arrangement: Feelin' Green Name of individual song arranged: Green Hill Zone An Electro remix of one of my favourite VGM songs. My inspiration comes from my love of STH music and EDM in general. This was arranged in Fl Studio and has a range of different elements, including sound effects from the original game! I'm quite new to producing and I'm open to constructive criticism on my arrangement. Thanks! ----------------- Edited July 6, 2015 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 I hear a lot of cool electronic ideas and effects in this track. Lots of sounds competing from 0:25-0:49, nothing stands out as a lead. I do like how the ring sfx is used VERY subtly, that really works. Nice sweeps and good timbres used overall. Mixing is working well enough. Leads could stand out a bit better. I'm not sure how I feel about the sidechaining of the lead from 1:16-1:40, that sidechaining blends the lead in with the background unnecessarily. Piano chords sound very stiff from 2:05-2:30. Despite lots of instrumental changeups and lots of effects, I hear the Green Hill Zone theme verbatim soooo many times in a row. The writing is really conservative throughout the entire track, making it sound repetitive despite all the diverse sounds used. I feel like some interpretation on this melody is required, somewhere in the track. Repetitiveness is a problem for me. 3:08-4:48 is an exact copy/pasta of 0:50-2:30 in writing and instrumentation, with a couple of extra elements and sweeps applied in the second half. I can layer them and they sound like one track. Some would say that the addition of the other instruments and sweeps and filters in the second half is enough variation, and I understand that but it doesn't feel like enough variation for me, not with the source melody never changing. That second half is a great opportunity to change the lead writing and do some variation or some soloing on top of the basic background chord structure which will remove some of the repetitiveness and really make this track exciting! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 The opening had a lot of generic sounds, but they were put together reasonably OK. That said, until :45, the way this was mixed made it so that there was nothing to focus on, and all of the parts were just smooshed together; something needed to take the foreground during this build (e.g. the synth line brought in at :24), and it never happened. Make sure the balance between the different parts makes sense, and that something cuts through and takes the lead. The backing piano brought in at 1:40 was mechanical-sounding and exposed. It could work for this genre, but shouldn't sound too dry like it does now. Pretty bad when it's called upon for accents from 2:30-2:42. I agreed with Chimpazilla on the second half feeling too repetitive. Indeed, there are touches here and there (like the sweeps and saws) that add more to the texture, but it's not enough to truly set the second iteration apart from the first when the structure and overall energy are still the same. Good start, Jordan. You have good energy here, but see what more you can do with this concept; the second half's too much of a retread without enough differences or dynamic contrast to keep the show fresh. See what you can also do to let the various parts occupy their own space more, and definitely add some realism or depth to the piano so it doesn't stand out so much as sequenced. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkeSword Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 What the intro of this remix says to me is "I've discovered the arpeggiator in FLStudio." That part feels so exposed. Agreed with Larry and Kris that the repetitiveness is killing this track. Variation hits around 2:30 but it feels like it comes out of nowhere. Very straightforward approach; not bad, and a great start for someone new to the craft, but you need some more variation in the melodic lines that will help with the repetition problem. NO, resub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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