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OCR03387 - *YES* Super Street Fighter 2 'An Enjoyable Face Remodelling' *RESUB*


Chimpazilla
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Update 7/12/16:  Marc has sent me a new version with improved mixing.  His mastering was on the quiet side, so I mastered it more and sent it to him.  He approved of what I did, so he sent me his unmastered wav so I could master it up right.  Here is the result (wav and 192mp3).  I still feel like there are structural improvements he could make to his track and we have discussed them, but this track is sounding mighty good now.  I think Marc will do big things at OCR!

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previous decision

Remixer Name: shaboogen
Real Name: Marc Losper
Email Address: 

UserID: 33244

 
Game arranged: Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers
Name of arrangement: An Enjoyable Face Remodelling
Song arranged: Cammy stage theme
 
As I stated previously, The Cammy theme has always been my favourite in all of Street Fighter. My goal was to create a version of the song that suited both my own sensibilities as a lover of funky and fun electro and still encapsulated everything that I loved about the original song.
 
With regards to the original judge's decision, the prevailing feedback seemed to be focused on the arrangement (specifically the lack of variation in the drum pattern) as opposed to the production quality itself. To address this, I did spend some time focusing on producing a more ambitious arrangement. I added a new percussion line that changes at various points in the song in order to add more interest. I also modified the original B section into a full breakdown, preceded by a small half time section in order to break up monotony.
 
(I'm unsure whether or not the voice samples to open and close the track are allowed. The rules don't specifically state they aren't, but obviously licensing is tricky. These are easy enough to remove if required)
 
Although there wasn't a great deal said about the production itself, on reflection there were a lot of things that were below par so I went back and cleaned up all the synths and EQs along with giving the track a fresh master. The new version (to my ears anyway) has significantly more clarity and allows all the sounds more room to shine through and should hopefully deal with any issues with regards to shrill-ness or mud.
 
To be a little clearer, I was a very new producer when I sent my first tune through and I know now that it was very premature in my development. Hopefully, these new changes bring the tune more in line with OCR standards.
 
Thanks

 
 
 
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I paneled the first version of this but never voted on it, so I don't really remember it, so I'm pretty much hearing it fresh.  It seems like repetitive beats were the main dealbreaker on version #1.  

The intro and outro vocals are super dry and sound tacked on, I dislike them as bookends here.  If there was some ambiance or the beginning of the beat or something with the vocals, they wouldn't sound so tacked on.

It takes a long time for any leadwork to begin, all the way until 1:19 it's leadless, this would have been a good opportunity to introduce some motif, original or source, lightly into the scene.  Once the lead begins, I like the timbre, I wish there weren't two identical playthroughs of the source material back to back though, doing the second iteration with a new lead would have broken that up very nicely.  As it is, the second iteration is nearly copy-pasta, but I like when the beats briefly change up, that's the kind of thing I want to hear.  The marching drumming at 2:33 is a great idea, the drumming could be mixed to be a bit more present and more impact, and I'd sure like some more present leadwork there, your original lead filters in at 2:49 in but it's really quiet.  When the kick enters again, it works really nicely together with the marching drums.  

I like the bits of slap bass in the mix.  I like your bass wub-work too, as you get better at producing I recommend you learn how to make your wubs stand out better, I can direct you to a fabulous teacher if you want his name (bLiNd).

This mix has a lot going for it and a few structural flaws.  I think it's close if not there already.  If you're truly new at producing, you're well on your way, so if this doesn't make it this time, I think it's not going to take much to get it there.  I'm going to let other Js vote before I finalize my thoughts.

edit 7/8/16:  I agree with my peers, the good outweighs the bad here.  The arrangement and mixing still have issues, but please take our crits to heart for next time.  Take the time to learn production, as you already have some pretty strong skills.  Looking forward to hearing more from you!

YES (borderline)

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  • Chimpazilla changed the title to 2016/07/01 - (1?) Super Street Fighter 2 'An Enjoyable Face Remodelling' *RESUB*

Well, this is a pretty fun arrangement. This is the first time I've heard this (well, my second time, actually - I did catch it in the WIP forums right before it popped up here!), so my ears are pretty fresh on this, as well.

I enjoy the instrumentation on this - the wubs, the slab bass, the pads and especially the lead work. The drums are meaty enough to act as a solid grounding for this track, too, so it has that going for it. The leads are mixed a bit quiet throughout, though - they get a little bit lost behind the rest of the track. They get pulled even farther behind the track purposefully at 2:49, which works, but they never really seem to come back to the front (even at 3:49, where it makes sense that they would).

The dry vocal clips didn't really bother me too much, other than they're a little loud in comparison to the music prior and after. It sticks out a little, but I don't think it sounds particularly poor.

Overall, it seems to cover the source, while taking it in a new direction. The leads being as quiet as they are bothers me, but I don't think it's a dealbreaking issue. In the previous decision it seems that the groove didn't change enough, but that seems to have been corrected in this version. I think it's over the bar, myself.

YES

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  • Liontamer changed the title to 2016/07/01 - (1Y/1?) Super Street Fighter 2 'An Enjoyable Face Remodelling' *RESUB*

The Cammy voice samples sounded clean, but should have had some effects to better integrate/transition them into and out of the music itself. Right now, they feel tacked on and thus tack-y. :-)

There a lack of high-end clarity here that lets all of the instrumentation somewhat mud together, but it's nothing too off-putting. I thought the marching-style drums worked well in terms of the writing, but were too quietly mixed in the background; again, the instrumentation all tended to mud together in the same frequency range, which is putting me at a borderline YES when it should have been stronger. Whether this passes or not, I'd appreciate another pass at the mixing before this was posted, ideally, because the end result was disappointing even if it squeaks by due to the overall arrangement strength.

There's still a bit of a vanilla feel to this, and more risks could have been taking melodically to create even more dynamic contrast, but the changes in the beat patterns were solid enough, and the overall creativity of the approach was improved enough that I can get behind it. If the mixing were clearer to better appreciate the part-writing, this would be on strong ground.

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  • Liontamer changed the title to 2016/07/01 - (2Y/1?) Super Street Fighter 2 'An Enjoyable Face Remodelling' *RESUB*

My issue with this mix in my previous vote was mainly the static nature of the structure, and that has been addressed, so I don't really have much to add that I didn't say in my previous vote.  I'll agree with Larry that the mix feels a bit vanilla and the balance isn't perfect, and I think that not only the vocals but the initial instruments introduced in the intro felt a bit dry and separated, but overall, this is solid and if you compare it to the previous version it really improved a lot, so kudos for going the extra mile, I think it was worth it.

YES

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  • Liontamer changed the title to (2016/07/01) *YES - TAG - FIXES PREFERRED* Super Street Fighter 2 'An Enjoyable Face Remodelling' *RESUB*
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As an aside, since the artist posted the Workshop eval a few days before panelling it (and because I was late in responding when promised), I gave him my feedback as an evaluation, as well, and he seemed very willing to fix the mixing issues that are present, as well as integrating the Cammy vocals better.

I'll see if I can get a better version from him soon.

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  • Chimpazilla changed the title to (2016/07/01) *YES - TAG - NEW VERSION UP* Super Street Fighter 2 'An Enjoyable Face Remodelling' *RESUB*
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