Sign in to follow this  
Mr. Hu

1. work-in-progress Majora's Mask - Great Bay Temple

5 posts in this topic

Hey there, decided to finally make a song for OCR after thinking about it for 17 years.

It's a linear track and many of the frequencies are quite extreme, for maximum tension-building. It has a piano run through a guitar amp to add a bit of volatility to its character, and other than the little flourish from 1:45 - 1:47, every note is sourced from several different Zelda melodies, with the Great Bay Temple being the most prominent chord-wise (and obviously percussion-wise). As the song goes on, it's meant to put the listener in that psychological space many people find themselves in at least once in their lives, when you're swimming underwater and suddenly everything goes from uncomfortable to desperate. Maybe I've over-explained myself, but let me know what you think, if you care to. 

Here's the OG. 

 

Here's mine. 

https://drive.google.com/open?id=18DPdGUQSrXCZcUZ0ZV8eLJe9zYISha7H

 

My one concern is that the panning on the gated high frequencies is too extreme, or perhaps too loud on certain speakers, especially after the song quality is degraded on something like YouTube. Thoughts?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My first impression is that this is the maddening song that plays in my head as I continually get lost in all Legend of Zelda water dungeons ever.

It's definitely a minimalistic piece. To be perfectly frank, I think it may be a little too minimal. But if your aim is to keep it simple, I think you've got a decent basis to begin with. Most of it is exclusively the piano soloing, but then you add the extra beat around 2:04, it starts to get a little more interesting, even though the piano disappears. I would consider layering the two more consistently through the piece.

I think you've got a very interesting concept for your arrangement, keep at it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Props for attempting this; a minimal, ambient piece like this can be really hard to arrange. Let's see what you manage to do with this

EVAL:

Arrangement:
.... well, when I listened to the source, I was expecting something experimental and avant-garde, and you certainly did not disappoint. Some cool ideas, a creative and unusual approach, which shows originality while still using the source in a recognizable fashion. I'd love to see the motifs of the original come in earlier; the arrangement takes too long to get to something that is recognizable, but once you do get there, you do a good job of it. I'd also love for this to go on longer; it ends right when it's starting to get interesting.
It's very minimalistic, and honestly I'm not entirely sure how to assess it on those grounds. Generally, it sounds very sparse, and the more active parts are rather discordant, but I think both of those things are intentional, and are a (largely successful) attempt to capture the creepy feel you're going for. It's daring and creative, but I'm honestly not sure how the judges panel would react to such a minimalist arrangement. The ending is also very abrupt.

 

Production:
I think it's clear that you're making your production choices deliberately weird. In some regards, it works, and in others it doesn't. The piano in particular sounds too mechanical, and could use more variation in velocity; I also think the intro needs more going on in the upper-mids, either by bringing those up in the piano, or perhaps adding some ambient noise in this range.

 

On the whole, I don't think this would make it past the panel. I think it's just too sparse, and too.... weird, for lack of a better way of saying it. I get that this sparseness and weirdness is deliberate; this would work well as the backing track to go along with a video, but I think it's too sparse to stand as something to be listened to on its own.
If you want to get this past the judges, I'd shorten the intro, and extend the track, expanding it into something a bit more active in the later sections.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

[This is an automatically generated message]

I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that you'd like some more feedback, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and I'll review it again! Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The piano is pretty mechanical, isn't it? Giving my ears a break for a month, I can see some little issues I could fix, but I think I'll just keep this version and make a whole new version that's more accessible. A remix of a remix, one that's less "dry" sounding. Thanks for the feedback!! It was more than I expected, and super helpful. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this