The Instrumental Light Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 hello, this my 2nd mix and first to WIP post, please let me know what you think of it. P.S. it is an unfinished work, so dont say " this doesnt have a good ending" because it aint finished. Link here:http://download.yousendit.com/9BF9B8B648387178 thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Villainelle Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 This doesn't have a good ending. Kidding. Um, it's an AIFF. Forget to encode to MP3? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 i made it in Garageband, it was automatically AIFF, you cant listen to it if its AIFF? anyway, ill get the mp3 version out in a moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 here is the mp3 version of it:http://download.yousendit.com/5B17CF5920C5CCCB, enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
227 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 I'm not into the way that piano sounds. Low-quality synthesized pianos hurt. Might try adding some reverb onto it and lowering the volume to push it to the background. Also, eight or so seconds in the piano seems to go slightly off beat. The reverb would probably help alleviate that, as well. I'm grateful that the drums have at least some variation. Very, very grateful. It seems a tad bit out of place in the grand scheme of things though, probably because you don't have very much going on right now. Strings and piano work together, but throwing drums in that context alone sounds a bit...awkward. So... Put some more instruments in. You've only got three instruments in this thing: piano, strings, and drums, right? It needs some fleshing out. Some kind of bass would not only do just that, but provide much-needed focus. Hope that helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sail Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Hrm. It's very...simple. Generic, if you will. It's hard to criticize because of it's simplicity, and hard to praise for the same reason. Try to define it a bit more. Do something unique. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theory of N Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 If you want my honest opinion, it's very close to being crap. I kind of like the strings in the background...but that's really all there is. There's no melody, unless that very offbeat piano that's playing three notes and boring two note chords(some of which sound terrible) is supposed to be the melody.Keep tryin' though dude. This is what I'd do:First step - put the piano on the beat and make it more interesting. Second - make a melody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 I'm not into the way that piano sounds. Low-quality synthesized pianos hurt. Might try adding some reverb onto it and lowering the volume to push it to the background. Also, eight or so seconds in the piano seems to go slightly off beat. The reverb would probably help alleviate that, as well. i actually added reverb so it is interesting that you say there is a lack of it. also, which parts go offbeat? I'm grateful that the drums have at least some variation. Very, very grateful. It seems a tad bit out of place in the grand scheme of things though, probably because you don't have very much going on right now. Strings and piano work together, but throwing drums in that context alone sounds a bit...awkward. So... Put some more instruments in. You've only got three instruments in this thing: piano, strings, and drums, right? It needs some fleshing out. Some kind of bass would not only do just that, but provide much-needed focus. Hope that helps. there are a few almost hidden things in there, but essentially yes you are correct,strings,piano and drums. yeah, ill try adding some bass. Hrm. It's very...simple. Generic, if you will. It's hard to criticize because of it's simplicity, and hard to praise for the same reason. Try to define it a bit more. Do something unique. i agree, im gonna add something more interesting to it, hopefully i will be able to update the WIP sometime soon. If you want my honest opinion, it's very close to being crap. I kind of like the strings in the background...but that's really all there is. There's no melody, unless that very offbeat piano that's playing three notes and boring two note chords(some of which sound terrible) is supposed to be the melody.Keep tryin' though dude. This is what I'd do:First step - put the piano on the beat and make it more interesting. Second - make a melody. no, im glad your honest. i need an honest opinion so i can get better. i do have a melody, the original song melody is actually in the background, listen to it closely and you will hear it. thanks for everybody's suggestions and critisising(i may have spelled that wrong) hopefully, ill be able to modify it to these specifications. thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big giant circles Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 If you want my honest opinion, it's very close to being crap. You gave some valid points directly after, as well as some constructive criticism, but honestly, there's no reason to say that. People have different skills, and some people are more or less experienced and/or intuitive than others. That's uncalled for. The rest of your post was fair, and constructive. As for the above quote, that is your opinion, not fact, and it's subjective, not objective. Keep comments like that to yourself. Now then. The Lone Ranger: everyone's right in that this is too early on in the WIP phase to provide much more feedback than "work on it some more." You have an idea for the track, but it's good to have something a little more... progressed when you present your project to the public and ask for analysis. Keep at it. At this point, get creative. Try to picture where YOU want the track to go, and rely on that. The main goal here is for YOU to be satisfied with your song. That's all that really counts, anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
227 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 I thought that the piano from 8 seconds to 12 seconds had one or two notes that were too late, followed by a few that were too early. It's not like all the notes were off or anything, those were just the most noticeable. I could tell that there was a bit of reverb on the piano so I should have clarified - I meant more reverb. Enough to blend the piano a bit more with the strings, but not so much as to become muddy. I'd put a bass in there before screwing with it, though. Bass tends to be a very dry sound and could change the level of reverb you need. EDIT: I wanted to quote BGC for emphasis. The main goal here is for YOU to be satisfied with your song. That's all that really counts, anyway Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 first update:http:http://download.yousendit.com/306EED980C53EB59 warning: there are still some bugs and problems that i need to fix, and i have to finish the song obviously. if i have forgotten or totally ignored one of your suggestions, feel free to remind me of it and hopefully i will be able to incorporate it in my mix. thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avaris Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I kinda like the feeling you got goin on here. It seems like your levels are a lil off, sometimes I have to struggle to hear different elements. Did you EQ this yet to make sure each part has it's own sonic space. It sounds like the snare is masking the other sounds IMO. Also the basic melody of the piano is good, but it is way too repetative as is. Work on varying it up and giving the composition of it some dynamics. I think someone said before to have the piano and drums play off each other some more I totally agree. It would really add to the piece. A trance gated synth pad used sparingly to spruce up sections later in the song would be a really nice touch. Def keep on working on this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 i plan to, in fact, im working on it right now. one of things i was going to do later in the mix is switch the main melody from being on the strings to being on the piano, because the 2nd part of the song works better with pianos and it would vary it up a little more. thanks for the suggestions. ill keep working at it and hopefully sometime soon i will be able to release another update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theory of N Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 You gave some valid points directly after, as well as some constructive criticism, but honestly, there's no reason to say that. People have different skills, and some people are more or less experienced and/or intuitive than others. That's uncalled for. The rest of your post was fair, and constructive. As for the above quote, that is your opinion, not fact, and it's subjective, not objective. Keep comments like that to yourself. I apologize to The Lone Ranger and anyone else who was offended. I was crunched for time when I was typing this, and just typing the first things that came to mind. I understand that's no excuse, and really didn't mean to offend anyone. Hard to believe I know, but I'm really a nice guy and I don't usually make comments like that. I guess what I was trying to say was what everyone else was: it needs a lot of work. Once again, I'm sorry and I'll be more careful in the future. Keep on truckin' TLR. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
227 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Definite improvements over the first version. The piano feels like it's in the song now instead of on top of it, which is a good thing. Yeah, you might want to EQ some things to give the instruments some space like avaris said. Much improved, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 im going to cut out the synth in the background though, it gets too blurred. instead, im going to add some video game sounding instruments very subtle though. no prob, TN(Theory of Nonexistence) i know the feeling of that kind of stuff. yeah,well, either tomorrow or Wednsday i will probably have completed my next update. thanks for the encouragement, guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted March 15, 2007 Author Share Posted March 15, 2007 ive fixed almost all of the bugs in the first part so im going to begin on the second part. because this is a major update, this may take a few more days, i hope to get this update done before monday. thanks to everybody who have already reviewed my mix, i hope to hear from more of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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