TrueWInd

This is haunting! First time I've ever shivered listening to the opening of an OC Remix, and I mean that as the sincerest of compliments. Maybe it's just the mood I'm in, but this one really reached out and grabbed me. Great work!

I can't wait for this project to come out.

Let's pinpoint a couple of the problem sections. pixietricks might be well advised to take an out here. One of the tricks I learned in speaking Japanese is that you don't need to pronounce that "h" sound in when it follows another vowel sound. Thus, you don't need to take that extra breath to produce the sound, which might allow the singer to condense the two sounds into the melody. Effectively, the pronunciation might be: "ko-tah-lah", all in one smooth set. "Faded" here seems crammed into the melody. I don't know how to fix this, since I don't actually know what the problem is musically, but I can say that I don't understand why the last word "Into" flows so poorly in terms of meaning into the next line (which is only coincidentally in Japanese). Could this be part of the problem? In all, I love the piano and the way the singer's voice interacts with it, and I like the lyrics and the singer separately, but I think the lyrics could use some tweaking. I really like this remix, and I think it could definitely be improved by going over the lyrics, figuring out where the singer is having trouble, and adjusting them to suit. It could just be a matter of rearranging a few notes here and there: there is quite obviously talent at work here.

My point was that meaning shouldn't be compromised for the sake of "poetic finesse", and indeed a part of poetic finesse is fine-tuning your devices to fit within the particular rhythm of your poem (or in this case, your song). If you've designed the line specifically to achieve that particular alliteration, then I as a listener think it is a poor choice. As I said, however, I enjoy the song, and I will continue to listen to it.

You've succeeded in pulling an old fan of SoM out of lurker status, Harmony. ^_~ The only thing that bothers my poetic senses, at least, is the use of the phrase "my Flammie". It seems like it might make more sense to say "my dragon". I realize that the rhyme of "stars" and "far" sets up an expectation of later rhyme, but for some reason, "my Flammie" strikes wrongly with me. I think that part of it is that I am easily persuaded that the singer here is Randi himself (the Boy), and I have trouble seeing him describing Flammie as "his"; but for the most part, it is just that the phrase "my Flammie" seems uncharacteristically childish for this "speaker". Using "my dragon" would also set you up for for "dragon song", later in the piece. I don't claim to know anything about music, but I thought I'd speak up since, except for that one little part of this song, I was riveted. Excellent work, Harmony, and I hope to hear more SoM mixes from you in the future. (Also, you're helping me continue my SD3 fanfic, though I suspect how glad you'd be about that depends on your opinions on copyright infringement. ^^; )