I feel your pain, Zircon. Flame Lurker is probably the hardest boss in the game for me, in relation to everything else.
That said, you're being a bit extreme in your criticisms, methinks. You don't need a magic weapon to beat him, you don't even need fire resist. Admittedly, the make things much easier, and that's no bad thing, but it's not as grim as you'd think.
I myself was forced to kill him with a Halberd +2 and Mirdan Leggings. And nothing else.
Totally my fault for not upping Stamina, but there ya go.
The hardest thing about Demon's Souls is fighting things for the first few times. Once you know how the boss fights, they're hardly as daunting.
If you want some other advice...
The Brushwood Shield complete nullifies fire damage when blocking, so you'd not need to use Water Veil anymore (It can be found in 1-1)
When he does a high jump towards you, run towards him (or dodge) and his back will make a nice target
If you find yourself getting into a corner, run past him. And I mean Sprint. Generally you can actually run past him before his attack connects, and he's left going 'wtf?'
Also.
If you do want to skip to 4-1, bring a Bow for the first Boss