New Jazz Piece

[Jacian]

Hey all... I'm building my way toward making my first OC remix submission (but as I've wanted to get better I haven't wanted to humiliate myself... yet :-P) I recently was messing around on the piano and discovered a nice jazz piece playing only black keys (except for the A) and considering I've taught myself how to play the piano and never really knew how to do jazz... I'm pretty proud of myself. I'd like you all to listen to this piece and give your comments and suggestions. It was done in FruityLoops Studio 7 XXL.

A few notes:
The Piano is actually two soundfonts (Fazoli and Steinway grand pianos) played in unison with a Layer, each piano mapped with slightly different EQ and reverb settings to really fill out the piano. (The Fazoli tends to be tinny in the lows and the Steinway sounds great in the low but not on the high... so I mixed them)
The drums are done with two FPC instruments (cause I was too lazy to program in changes on each) and I've used major stereo separation on the hats and ride.
I didn't have any shakers, but I did have a small rainstick and a cup full of feed corn (secured with a sandwich bag and rubber band) so I recorded those live... with a little stereo separation...
And finally the bass is Sytrus, a modified Deep2 sound to fit to my liking. I'm using a compressor on it to give it punch. The bassline is my favorite. I discovered it while messing around, too :DMy major areas for help are loudness and stereo separation... sometimes it all muddles together too much, and as I've gotten a heck of a lot better, I'm still struggling with getting just the right amount of sound (nice and clear) with it not being too loud... Any suggestions?

Also... shakers? Do they sound okay? And the fadeout? Does that work? And certainly I need a better title :-)

Thanks a lot, everyone. You all are great!

~jace

SONG LINK
http://www.gerlachmedia.com/Check%20Up.mp3

[Jacian]

Anyone? Tips? Comments? Suggestions?

[Jacian]

Wow... either everyone likes it or hates it :-) Come on... tips? Comments?

[Cree`]

Is this your first mix? If so, very nice. If not, still pretty good. Bassline is banging, I think it could use a drum solo in there somewhere, to keeps things moving. I'm not sure what else to say, as jazz isn't really my thing.

[Jacian]

Nah, it's not my first mix. (see http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=11885) I've made a dozen or so songs, but I'm pretty confident about this one hence the post. I thought about a drum solo but it didn't work too much... perhaps I could try with a quick pause and hop. Thanks for posting!!!

~jace

[Jacian]

Anyone else?

[Vidilian]

Solid stuff especially for a new mixer.
The drums are great but they get a bit tiring after a while. You should have a more laid back part where the drums aren't playing to break things up.
Also the constant chords played by the left hand side of the piano get a bit jarring aswell. You should play some more interesting things on that side later on in the song. Good luck when u descide to try an ocremix btw.