Phantasy Star Online A song for eternal story WIP

[Tepid]

It's been a while since I've done a remix, so I thought I'd start something new. The source is 'A Song for an Eternal Story' from the Phantasy Star Online original soundtrack. This is one of my all time favorite video game pieces, and it is a mere 1:30 long but is a wonderful ambient composition. Enjoy, and feedback is appreciated:


Neon Jupiter WIP (http://ocrwip.fireslash.net/?action=single&f=Phantasy%20Star%20Online%20Remix%20-%20Neon%20Jupiter%20(v3).mp3)


Enjoy,


Phil


Also to note: RTF is a whiner.

[Dark Vagabond]

wow! just wow! XD

[Tepid]

lol I'll take that into consideration...thanks :)

[SplinterOfChaos]

A little chaotic in the intro, but that might not be a complaint. Other than that....

wow! just wow! XD

[Tepid]

but I'm still not sure what I should do with the mix haha.

[FireSlash]

I really like the atmosphere here. Good variation, the guitars snap right into place without sticking out or breaking the mood.

sauce
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsqoX7ia5Cs

I really hate mediafire. crappy ads and popups so sly they defeat firefox. Why not host it here (http://ocrwip.fireslash.net/) instead? :<

[Pander]

Right around 1:27 I couldn't handle the chaos. 2:03 is an excellent segment, clear through basically the end of the song is good stuff.

But early on it sounds like a lot of missed notes, mis-tempoed beats, blah drum samples, and a general sense that the different instruments and melodies were really fighting each other in a jarring way. And the kicker is that it's not off by much, but enough.

Lemme go bit by bit.

Intro to 0:17 - Good atmosphere. No problems with it really. Nice guitar lead-in.
0:17-0:28 - Nothing happening? Slows down a bit until the lead synth joins in. Sounds okay though.
0:32-0:52 - The lowsynth that joins in at 0:35 is odd and unpleasant. It's like it trells out of tune and buzzes a bit. I think it's in too loud, it ends up combatting the higher synth for supremacy. Might want to adjust the levels here.
0:44 - Ugh. I don't like how the higher synth note fades out,, it sounds out of tune.
0:52- 1:24 - You're relying on an uneventful lead melody and static drums to pass the time for half a minute? As the piano joins in at 1:16 it gets better, more like a stew gelling, until...
1:25-2:00 - Utter chaos. The low synth doesn't complement the higher notes, it sort of buzzes. The high plucks around 1:33-1:44 don't sound right on the note fadeouts.
2:00-end - Tight. THIS is very good. I'd really re-work the stuff before this, but with the exception of maybe some of the lower synths and drum samples don't touch this part of the arrangement. The great arrangement here shows there is a lot to be had with this remix, but I really didn't like too much in the minute and a half that preceded it. It felt like you were passing the time until you could hit that 2 minute mark.

Even at my hardest of criticisms, there's still nothing that requires scrapping or burning. Just retuning.

[Tepid]

Thanks, I'll get to work on it soon. That's some good feed.