Awesome Nonsensical Lines from Games/VG Music

[K.B.]

You might be missing some of the benefits that stereo can provide.

[Geoffrey Taucer]

Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi?

[SwordBreaker]

Anything from Fawful, one of the bad guys in Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga.

"I drizzled rage dressing on the country next door. Rage dressing on a salad of evil!"

"You are like brainless cats that are too dumb to know they are stupid! You have curiosity...but my tale is long, so long it makes babies old and hairy lips grow gray with aging. Do you dare hear?"

Priceless.

[Ferret]

Item description in Golden Sun:

A bone from the girl at the inn.


Apparently Isaac and company enjoy dismembering their hostesses.

[Bleck]

http://www.localarcade.com/arcade_art/data/thumbnails/2/q-bert.jpg

[Olarin]

"I do not know who `they' are, but that is what they say, is it not?"

[Alexis]

"Wonderful! Time for a celebration! Cheese for everyone! Wait...scratch that. Cheese for no one. That can be just as much of a celebration if you don't like cheese. True?" --Sheogorath from Oblivion


And of course anything that GLaDOS says is amazing but here's one of my favorites:

"Didn't we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like (deep male voice) 'NO WAY!' (Normal voice) and then I was all 'We pretended we were going to murder you'? That was great!" --GLaDOS

[LuketheXjesse]

"Wretched beast, I know who it is you serve! Return to your master! Tell the God of War I am his no longer! Tell him he is not safe while I walk the earth!

I WILL find pandora's box! And I will use it...to see him tremble and fall before me!"

[Jaybell]

I don't do this for the money
I don't do this for the paycheck, oh no no no no
I don't do this for the ladies
I've already got their respeeeeeect

I've got their respeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[K.B.]

(huge explosion, normal lights have gone out, emergency lights flashing red)

Elly: "Are we okay!?"

[Darth Lime]

"Mother's coming for me in the dragon ships. I don't like these itchy clothes, but I have to wear them or it frightens the fish."

[The Pezman]

"You don't want to know. It will jack up the rating of this game even further."

"I can't let you do that. No one gets in the way of Reno and the Turks."

"Behind every great hero there is always a wisecracking, obnoxious nincompoop!"

"Who am I going to look after if I don't have you? Do it, Naminé! Erase my memories, break my heart... I'll still have my promise. I'll still protect you!"

"Don't you know anything, kid?! You NEVER interrupt a psychotic diatribe!" - Bonus points if you get this one

And who could forget: "Oooooh, soft!"

[Olarin]

Your sound card works perfectly.



















Your sound card works perfectly.



















Your sound card works perfectly.



















This is as good as it gets.

[The Derrit]

"Wretched beast, I know who it is you serve! Return to your master! Tell the God of War I am his no longer! Tell him he is not safe while I walk the earth!

I WILL find pandora's box! And I will use it...to see him tremble and fall before me!"

point missed completely

10pointsmissed

[Chickenwarlord]

"I'm not a malefactor, I'm a lagomorph!"

[The Pezman]

Your sound card works perfectly.



















Your sound card works perfectly.



















Your sound card works perfectly.



















This is as good as it gets.
That reminds me:

You can't go south.

You can't go south.

You can't go south.

You can't go south.

You can't go south.

You can't go south.

You can't go south.

You can't go south.

Okay, you can go south.

[Wacky]

I grow tired of yelling battle cries when fighting this mage! Boo will finish your eyeballs once and for all so he does not rise again!

EVIL, MEET MY SWORD! SWORD, MEET EVIL!!!!



Also:

"Statement: Just when I believe my photoreceptors have recorded the last potential aspect of your cruelty to my memory core, you commit a new atrocity that leaves me analyzing its impact for days.

You are like a delightful random cruelty generator, master, poisoning all you touch with your presence. You are a testament to all organic meatbags everywhere."

[The Coop]

"What's going on with you?"
"Hello."
"Farewell."
"Good day."

... all done in the exact same voice.

[PrototypeRaptor]

How are you gentlemen!!
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-41ve90rks8

[OverCoat]

Statement: Just when I believe my photoreceptors have recorded the last potential aspect of your cruelty to my memory core, you commit a new atrocity that leaves me analyzing its impact for days.

Everything HK-47 says is amazing.

We should bug Bustatunez to bug some other people to make "Star Wars: HK-47 Unleashed"

[Atomicfog]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMg6_IXCjo4

[Fratto]

I don't do this for the money
I don't do this for the paycheck, oh no no no no
I don't do this for the ladies
I've already got their respeeeeeect

I've got their respeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


The first few times I heard this, I thought it was "I've already got Larry's Paige." When I learned that it was "their respect" I was very disappointed.

Very disappointed.

[Wacky]

Everything HK-47 says is amazing.

We should bug Bustatunez to bug some other people to make "Star Wars: HK-47 Unleashed"

The best thing is that Chris Avellone knows just what words to use. I'd have personally said "Some new atrocity" instead of "a new atrocity" but otherwise the tone of the quote is exquisite.

[Flare4War]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMg6_IXCjo4

I was laughing so fucking hard through this video I couldn't lift my beer to my mouth.

Some first rate hilarity. No doubt.

Also, I played the all of the Double Dragons. So I know what he's talking about.

[GeckoYamori]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBjBAhjgA4o

[Fenrir]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBjBAhjgA4o

EVERYONE PANIC. THE WORD ISLAM IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
Jeez.

[LuketheXjesse]

I was laughing so fucking hard through this video I couldn't lift my beer to my mouth.

Some first rate hilarity. No doubt.

Also, I played the all of the Double Dragons. So I know what he's talking about.

Funny story.

Double Dragon II was a huge part of my childhood (still play it to this day), so I was estatic when my Grandmother had found me a copy of Double Dragon III at a yard sale. I put it in the NES...and...well, see the video :\

[42]

The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President? ;-)

[relyanCe]

I NEED SCISSORS! SIXTY-ONE!!! -Roy Campbell

[Alexis]

Male...female....what's the difference? Power is beautiful and I've got power!!!

[Urban Xperience]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBjBAhjgA4o

Uh you fucking fucks, it does not even say the word Islam. Just some other garbled crap...

[HalcyonSpirit]

Everything HK-47 says is amazing.

Indeed.

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds."

Oddly fitting, in a strange sort of way.

[Thalzon]

"I pledge my victory.... to this FEATHER!"

"Coach Oleander has taken the brains of all the kids to build brain-powered tanks to take over the world and we're the only ones who can stop him!"
"Oh my GOD! Let's make out!"

[PROTO·DOME]

"The air is tasty here"

[Nutritious]

Shazbot!

10

[Olarin]

"Now you've really done it! I'm out of orange smoke!
You don't expect me to do a decent reincarnation without any orange smoke, do you?"

[BlueMage]

I grow tired of yelling battle cries when fighting this mage! Boo will finish your eyeballs once and for all so he does not rise again!

EVIL, MEET MY SWORD! SWORD, MEET EVIL!!!!


"YES! Lead evil by example, and one day we'll need not put the boot to those who stray from goodness into the muck and bile of villany and track great, bloody footprints across our lily-white tiles! BOO WILL HAVE CLEAN WOODSHAVINGS YOU EVIL BASTARDS!"

[Scars Unseen]

"Her working name is 'Happy Endings?' Subtle..."

[Fenrir]

http://gaygamer.net/images/liquidsnake.jpg

BROTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! derp

[JJT]

"you're so easy"

Devil May Cry (not intended to be sexual)

[Scars Unseen]

Some BG2 goodness (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0224637/quotes)

Here are some of the funnier bits:

Sarevok: I orchestrated a war to slaughter thousands. I have felt the cold embrace of death. I have witnessed the horrors of the abyss. But you, Viconia... you scare me.

Imoen: So... Sarevok. You've had an itty-bitty piece of my soul in there for quite a while now. What's it been like?
Sarevok: Well, other than a slight obsession with my weight and the resurgence of a few pimples, it's been simply grand.

Dradeel: One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the ENDLESS WAVES OF BAD DOGGIE WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOES WHILE YOU SLEEP!

Sarevok: Ranger, turn your rodent's gaze another direction! I will not be scrutinised as though by some ridiculous divining rod!
Minsc: Boo has an uncanny judge of character, but you... you give him trouble.
Sarevok: I'll give him more than that if this continues! I nearly conquered a nation! I will not be judged by a creature that stores nuts in its cheeks!
Jan: Hey! I resemble that remark.
Sarevok: Trust me, gnome, you do not want to partake in my wrath this day.
Minsc: Food storage aside, Boo controls himself far better than you do. Do you see him ranting about mere glances? Let's look.
Sarevok: What?
Minsc: See? No rant. In fact, now he is snuffling about for a comfy place to sleep. Admirable restraint.
Sarevok: I'm still in Hell, aren't I? This is insanity.
Minsc: Ah, finally a calming look comes across your face. Boo's handiwork, no doubt? Doesn't that feel better?
Sarevok: Let's... let's go kill something. Soon.

Keldorn: Imoen! What... are you pawing at me yet again? Do you think I do not notice? You are attempting to pickpocket me, aren't you?
Imoen: Well, no... I just...
Keldorn: Just what? Out with it girl. I won't have a party member stealing from me.
Imoen: No, no, that's not it! I... I was just... I was just trying to find out if you're as muscular under your armour as you look. Oh, I know that you're married and all that Keldorn... but do you have *any* idea how good you look? I... I can't help myself, I just what to touch you all the time!
Keldorn: Imoen! I... I have a daughter that is the same age as you!
Imoen: I don't know what it is Keldorn, maybe it's the Bhaal essence in me. I just want to run my fingers through your hair and nibble on your ears! Oh, Keldorn, you drive me so wild!
Keldorn: By Torm, no! This is terrible! I... I had no idea I had this effect on you...
Imoen: Oh get over yourself already, Keldorn! Sheesh.
[Imoen giggles]
Imoen: Here's your ring back. I won't take it again, I promise.

[Atomicfog]

I was laughing so fucking hard through this video I couldn't lift my beer to my mouth.

Some first rate hilarity. No doubt.

Also, I played the all of the Double Dragons. So I know what he's talking about.

Oh yeah, same here, and it all seemed to be going so well until #3 :<

[Zephyr]

"I told you I'm not easy!"
-GI Joe for the nes upon dying

[OverCoat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsvfP5BQxaw
This is not a brutality, this is a fatality

[K.B.]

Hey look guys I changed the thread title without lifting a finger! 'itt' must have been drawing too many wretched off-toppers.

"Don't look into the death star, or you will die."
"Get a silk bag from the graveyard duck to live longer."

[LuketheXjesse]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsvfP5BQxaw
This is not a brutality, this is a fatality

You don't get much campier than that, lol.

[friendlyHunter]

Final line after the credits for Ninja Gaiden for the NES:

"Thank you for playing.
And see you next."


Every line of dialogue from the CD-i Mario and Zelda games. Especially:

Link: "I can't wait to bomb some dodongos!"

King of Hyrule: "After you've scrubbed all the floors in Hyrule, then we can talk about mercy!"

Zelda: "Stop looking at yourself!"

Mario: "You know what they say: all toasters, toast toast!"

[The Derrit]

Shazbot!

10

LOL <3 tribes so much

[BlueMage]

Some BG2 goodness (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0224637/quotes)

Here are some of the funnier bits:

Sarevok: I orchestrated a war to slaughter thousands. I have felt the cold embrace of death. I have witnessed the horrors of the abyss. But you, Viconia... you scare me.

Imoen: So... Sarevok. You've had an itty-bitty piece of my soul in there for quite a while now. What's it been like?
Sarevok: Well, other than a slight obsession with my weight and the resurgence of a few pimples, it's been simply grand.

Dradeel: One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the ENDLESS WAVES OF BAD DOGGIE WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOES WHILE YOU SLEEP!

Sarevok: Ranger, turn your rodent's gaze another direction! I will not be scrutinised as though by some ridiculous divining rod!
Minsc: Boo has an uncanny judge of character, but you... you give him trouble.
Sarevok: I'll give him more than that if this continues! I nearly conquered a nation! I will not be judged by a creature that stores nuts in its cheeks!
Jan: Hey! I resemble that remark.
Sarevok: Trust me, gnome, you do not want to partake in my wrath this day.
Minsc: Food storage aside, Boo controls himself far better than you do. Do you see him ranting about mere glances? Let's look.
Sarevok: What?
Minsc: See? No rant. In fact, now he is snuffling about for a comfy place to sleep. Admirable restraint.
Sarevok: I'm still in Hell, aren't I? This is insanity.
Minsc: Ah, finally a calming look comes across your face. Boo's handiwork, no doubt? Doesn't that feel better?
Sarevok: Let's... let's go kill something. Soon.

Keldorn: Imoen! What... are you pawing at me yet again? Do you think I do not notice? You are attempting to pickpocket me, aren't you?
Imoen: Well, no... I just...
Keldorn: Just what? Out with it girl. I won't have a party member stealing from me.
Imoen: No, no, that's not it! I... I was just... I was just trying to find out if you're as muscular under your armour as you look. Oh, I know that you're married and all that Keldorn... but do you have *any* idea how good you look? I... I can't help myself, I just what to touch you all the time!
Keldorn: Imoen! I... I have a daughter that is the same age as you!
Imoen: I don't know what it is Keldorn, maybe it's the Bhaal essence in me. I just want to run my fingers through your hair and nibble on your ears! Oh, Keldorn, you drive me so wild!
Keldorn: By Torm, no! This is terrible! I... I had no idea I had this effect on you...
Imoen: Oh get over yourself already, Keldorn! Sheesh.
[Imoen giggles]
Imoen: Here's your ring back. I won't take it again, I promise.

You sir have made my day.

[Deathtank]

You might be missing some of the benefits that stereo can provide.

Quadrophoniaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! :D

[KyleJCrb]

Am I a butterfly dreaming I'm a man or a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of sashimi?

Hahaha. That reminds me of this (http://dod.redheadedblacksheep.net/past/sep04/01%20-%20Ashane%20-%20Chrono%20Trigger%20-%20Zealous%20Entropy.mp3).

Oh god I just realized how old that song is. Has it really been that long?

[Faustt]

Never actually played the first Resident Evil game. I still love this line though.

Here's a lockpick. It might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, take it with you"

[MrSneak]

System Shock 2
"Only 163 shopping days left until Christmas" - Xerxes

[LuckyXIII]

JUMP IN A HOLE IN THE PALACE IF YOU GO.

THE DOOR WILL NOT OPEN. ITS VERY QUIET (sic)

IN MIDORO SWAMP FIND A HANDY GLOVE.

LOOKS LIKE I CAN GET IN THE FIREPLACE.

[Atomicfog]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsvfP5BQxaw
This is not a brutality, this is a fatality

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I forgot about that, but I think I'm pretty sure I thought it was cool at the time XD

[Halt]

I'm not much of a Halo fan these days, but my favorite line, when Master Chief gives the Covenant back there bomb

Cortana: What if you miss?

Master Chief: I won't

The way he said it was just like. Damn..O_O

[Native Jovian]

The best line in the Halo series is undoubtedly in Halo 3.

<Cortana> Did you have a plan for getting us out of here?
<Master Chief> Thought I'd shoot my way out. Mix things up a little.

To keep this post from being entirely off topic, I must register my surprise that no one's quoted from the delightfully terrible Final Fantasy Tactics translation. The two classic ones are, of course, Ramza telling a group of theives to "Surrender now or die in obscurity!", and Delita, in the midst of kidnapping a princess, telling his pursuers "Don't blame me. Blame yourself, or God." I always did wonder why it wasn't his fault that he was kidnapping people... FFT characters occasionaly said "incantations" when they cast spells, and they were universally pretty nonsensical. I liked the one for the Mog summon. "Kupo! Round and round you go! MOOGLE!"

[Ferret]

I think that the dialogue you get from your allies is a lot more, uh, interesting than anything that you hear during a cutscene.

For example:

"For your information, they're hazel. Now stop staring!"

And for lulz:

"Cheeky monkey!"

...really, you should just look up the dialogue databanks on halo.bungie.org and see (hear) for yourself.

[Ajax]

What is a man?
A miserable little pile of secrets.
But enough talk... Have at you!


I'm really sad that they changed the dialog in the PSP version...

[ncjason77]

"This is the way!"
Final Fantasy Tactics ps1

[Otakatt]

"Items worn on the head include hats and helmets."
"The unit's level appears on the top right of the face."
"Brave is courage."
"Move ability increases the skill to move."
-Are is I, Professor Daravon

[Gollgagh]

"Items worn on the head include hats and helmets."

that's not nonsensical, just obvious

[Spakku]

"I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere, right now. Even though you broke my heart and killed me... and tore me to pieces... and threw every piece into a fire."

And F-Zero X's soundtrack titles, if that counts.
"Fall Down to the Scream"
"All Need is 30 Deaths"
"The Long Distance of Murder"
"Crazy Call at Cry"

[IbanezNinja]

dont blame me blame yourself or god

[bustatunez]

I'll always love the unforgettable JRPG-engrish, "Help! I'm being oppressed!", "This guy are sick", "Experience is a skill learned with job training", "Welcome to Assaram" come to mind. That and all those terrible "The End" puns from MGS3. There were some awesome oneliners from SW: TFU though:

Stormtrooper: (after seeing some jedi kill like 15 dudes) "....This one's being stupid, sir."

Stormtrooper: (upon death) "I have... ...no regrets..!!!"


And for some reason, years ago I thought these two were funny enough to take screenshots of:

http://www.rogetmusic.com/temp/ct-out_of_closet.jpg
http://rogetmusic.com/temp/cc-respect.jpg


(if this thread were open to music program error messages, http://rogetmusic.com/temp/sonar_error.jpg would be the clear winner)

[Jaybell]

Aha! I found you, faker!

Faker? I think YOU'RE the fake hedgehog around here.
You're comparing yourself to me? You're not even good enough to be my fake!

I'll make you eat those words!

(this may not be nonsensical but hey, oh well.)

[Zeklan]

The Poo Song from Conker's Bad Fur Day.

Also, "She's got very nice... stigmas."

[The Pezman]

"We're not bad people. We've just had bad luck with major holidays... and automobiles... and federal statues."

[CHIPP Damage]

In Space Quest IV if you lick a certain building (yes, lick a building):

"Mmm. Wild Berry."

In Star Ocean 2 during a certain Private Action, talk to Ashton"

"Barrel barrel barrel barrel barrel barrel
barrel barrel barrel barrel barrel barrel."

[Halt]

The Poo Song from Conker's Bad Fur Day.

Also, "She's got very nice... stigmas."

I used to know the poo song by heart. :P. Ahhh. Good times.

[The Pezman]

In Space Quest IV if you lick a certain building (yes, lick a building):

"Mmm. Wild Berry."

I never got past the first ten minutes of this game.

[HoopyFrood]

In Star Ocean 2 during a certain Private Action, talk to Ashton"

"Barrel barrel barrel barrel barrel barrel
barrel barrel barrel barrel barrel barrel."

:shock: ROFL at Ashton. He always was one of my favorite characters in the game.

[Level 99]

Two real fast from Katamari:

King of Cosmos: "We are moved to tears by the size of this thing."
King of Cosmos: "This sky is not pretty at all. It's rough and masculine. Possibly sweaty."

and I think this was from a random baddie in Manhunt:
"I'll paint his wagon red!"

[BlackPhantom]

"Drink punch...eat cake...sounds complicated." ~Booster

[Cecilff2]

From the Sinistral of Terror, Daos, comes "You little hoochees!"

Frightened yet? Terrified!?

[Native Jovian]

King of Cosmos: "We are moved to tears by the size of this thing."
King of Cosmos: "This sky is not pretty at all. It's rough and masculine. Possibly sweaty."
The King of All Cosmos kicks untold amounts of ass.

ROYAL RAINBOW!!