*NO* Dragon Warrior 'The Warrior'

[djpretzel]

I tried out a couple years ago as DJ Lore. I have grown since then. I am submitting a new kind of remix. I have seen some songs on the site that are with vocals and lyrics. I decided to make a song for Dragon Warrior. The lyrics are written based on the game, and I used the Overworld Theme for the background. I hope you all enjoy.

Contact Info

ReMixer Name: Joshua Lore
Real Name: Joshua Lore
Email: LoKiMageZ@aol.com
Website: http://www.shatteredmystics.org

ReMix Info

Game Name: Dragon Warrior
Game Song: Overworld Theme
ReMix Title: The Warrior OC ReMix
ReMix Year: 2006
Game Publisher: Enix
Original Composer: Koichi Sugiyama
Platform: Nintendo (NES)

Any other information should be on the ID3v2 Tag on the mp3. If you need any more information on the song, let me know.


You can get the song off my website here.

It is an open folder with only that file inside. If you have any problems, please feel free to contact me at the above email.

Lyrics

With my strength
I will get to that kingdom again
Where they wait
For the world to be free

Traveling for ages
Around this world
Many harships seen by
My shield and sword

People are in danger
And misery
So I left my kingdom
So I can set them free

I can't return
To the places of my past
So the items that are with me
They need to last

Don't know where I'm headed
No hints are seen
But I'll rid them all of evil
For eternity

With my strength
I will get to that kingdom again
Where they wait
For the world to be free

With my blade
All the evil will be at an end
I'll bring hope
For the whole world to see

After all my travels
I'm weak and torn
All of the evil
It has been scorn

But I'm too weak now
To return home
But still I'm trying
Doing this alone

I have to get there
So I can tell
All in the kingdom
That the evil fell

My strength is fading
But still I try
I have to get there
Before I die

With my strength
I will get to that kingdom again
Where they wait
For the world to be free

With my blade
All the evil is now at an end
I saved hope
For the whole world to see

With my grief
I will try just to see all my friends
They all wait
For my face to be seen

If I fail
To return now that I'm at the end
Let their fear
Finally be set free

[Liontamer]

http://www.zophar.net/nsf/dq1.zip - Track 5

The intro's not too bad. Oh jeez, what a bootleg-sounding cutoff at :19 moving into the next section. Goes from hiss to silence; no good.

Anyway we get into the meat of the arrangement at :20 with some overly sparse and defaulty instrumentation. :42 brings the vocals back in (along with the lite hiss). Man, these vocals are so naked initially. It's not until 1:03 that you employed some delay.

Hahaha, the Ari Asulin-grade slap bass sample of death and despair comes in at 1:46 sounding completely devoid of body and realism. Again, the instrumentation is the obvious weak point. Can't understand how you thought this empty stuff was enough. 5:25-long of this drags on quite badly, as the sounds are thin and plain, and the track plods and plods as the structure is repetitive and boring in the long-run.

The verses you have need to have something to do with the source tune, as your instrumentation is 4 or 5 basic-as-hell synths that don't fill out the soundfield whatsoever. It's what, an e-piano, pizz strings, snapping beat, slap bass, and that toybox sound? As a mere listener, I don't expect to identify them correctly, but the fact that someone else could possibly count the number of sounds/ideas in play on one hand generally doesn't speak well for the track.

The point is they collectively sound way too beginnerish, and hardly adequate in terms of arranging the source material, which is too simple and straightforward. During the verses, Dragon Warrior's music feels like an afterthough, as you could take out the e-piano and, *poof*, no remix.

Looking at something comparably paced the same way as your track, listen and compare to how many ideas are in Sonic the Hedgehog 3 "Memories Frozen in Time" (http://www.ocremix.org/remix/OCR01350/) and how it sounds fuller and more developed even with simple instrumentation.

At least during the chorus you harmonized the vocals for some more meat to them, and they're also synched up pretty nicely. Your singing voice isn't strong in any way. It's obviously to the detriment of the track, as with such simple sounds everyone's gonna hone in on the vocals instead. Improving your vocals only comes with practice and training so please keep at it so your performance matches your ambition.

To sum it up, you need to add more instrumentation (and instrumentation that actually has body and can form a nice texture), actually rearrange the source material, improve your vocal delivery, and give your vocals more depth via more effects to downplay any weaknesses in the delivery. Use the ReMixing forum (http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=7) to find some better sounds for yourself and inquire about producing vocal tracks, and use the Works forum (http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=13) for feedback from fans who can point out issues before you submit more material.

NO

[Vig]

larry's right about the cutoff. i cant tell what i think about the intro. on one hand it's minimalistic, on the other hand it's corny. the vocal recording obviously has some hiss on it.

the singing is good, but not good enough to support the song. Right now, the vox are waaay out front, and everything else in the song is cheap. this is made particularly obvious during the instrumental sections, which are laughable.

put more thought into the composition of the instrumental parts..right now they are placeholders.

NO

[GrayLightning]

Yeah this is very basic and cheesy, but I find myself rather enjoying it. I don't think it's passable, but there's a good framework here of possibilities.

The singing and lyrics are definitely well above average. You did a great job there.

Unfortunately the suporting elements are way too basic. The horrible sharp sounding snare is the greatest offender. It completely clashes with the lowkey mix, but here you have that snare that's too crisp and loud - It doesn't really fit the mix in my opinion - consider something more subtle sounding.

The supporting material sounds retro-ish. This reminds me of an 80s mix. The sound quality of the samples here doesn't really bother me too much, there's hiss and noise throughout the track though and if you have a noise filter or reduction plugin I think that would help a lot.

My biggest gripe is the the bass instrument/composition. It's horribly repetitive. The same can be said with the pizz sections. Work on your instrumentation and harmony and mix things up a bit. Work on your drum pattern too, it's way too static/timekeeping sounding. Even 80s style drums have more evolution than this.

This has a lot of potential and a lot of elements that I dig. I hope you come back to this. Keep at it, I hope you resubmit this or consider submitting further material. NO