06-29-2006, 09:07 PM
Here's the latest version of my Song of Storms mix, "Let it Rain". My attempts to add my vocals, as I had originally intended to do, have not worked very well, so I'm wondering if I should simply keep trying or submit it without. That's where I need your help. Please vote after you've had a chance to listen.
Also, I'd really appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks.
Comments/suggestions as follows:
The rising figure here sounds like way too much parallel motion. Change the bass so it just stays on the tonic, and put in other harmonic notes in the strings to make the chords thicker.
The climax here is understated because all this rising motion doesnít seem to go anywhere. Take, for example, the opening of Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec from the FF8 orchestra version and how the rising motion at the beginning leads to a dissonant climax adding contrast to the main idea. If you could put something in here like that, especially using brass and timpani to contrast the strings, it would add another layer of interest.
The return to the rising motif here is fine, except the bass line is still paralleling the harmonies when it should be doing its own thing like the clarinet is. Donít oversaturate the sound with too much going on, especially if your synth canít handle the polyphony. I think the bass line is taking up too much room, it needs to be more subdued and ostinato-like, similar to the section at 0:39 with the timpani and pedal point.
Maybe thereís something you can do to make this melody line stand out. I think maybe a piccolo doubling up two octaves might work. The doubling beginning at 0:58 is great.
It felt as though we were building to another climax, so this part needs some extra emphasis.
Finally some new harmonies! This is probably the best section, especially in terms of chromatic voice-leading. My only complaint is that the chords are still blocky when you could have more suspensions and appoggiaturas.
The bass line here is not strong enough, so I suggest adding cello and double bass staccatos doubling in octaves in a rhythm similar to the timpani. Make sure you know what your progression is here. Donít make the brass chords too thick, and leave out any notes in the inner voice that are appearing in the melodic line up top.
I like what youíre doing with the cellos here, but that is negated by the long sustained harmonies in the rest of the strings and brass. Maybe instead use plucked double bass to establish the lowest pitches. The horn is playing whole notes which isnít such a great countermelody to the violins. It feels as though the horn should be playing a more waltz-like melody.
By this point the bass line progression is getting anti-climatic and boring, so why not vary things up by using this progression: A- E- F+ (D-7 E+) Put a strong trombone on the root of each of those chords and it should sound great. Itís those large leaps in the bass such as from A to E then resolving to the F that gives a progression a lot of power.
Watch the harmonies, since the horn sounds a bit unresolved in spots. The bass line sounds better here
The harmonies here are really nice. Still, would be better with more suspensions instead of block chords.
The countermelody seems buried under the string block chords, so try to bring it out more. The harmonies by this point donít have any climatic momentum anymore because theyíre so regular and boring. You have to change things up like you did at 1:34, and somehow turn that into a huge build with brass chords instead of strings, along with timpani rolls.
This ending is fine, it just needs more building up to it.
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