...WTF? I think I'm missing something.

[Paladin-01]

So this neighbor has been coming to our house, lately. Past two-three months, though far more common lately. Every time is the same, walks up, knocks, hands us a box, walks off with a smile.

Boxes of food. First it was cookies. Okay. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Then bananas. Alright. Then more bananas. Then 3 bags of apples. Then a box of assorted cakes. Another box of cookies. All of it storebought, most of it about to reach its sell-by date, and most of it not from local stores. Today? 6 half-pies, 3 boxes of sugar cookies, an entire box(like, 3'x2'x2') of assorted lunchmeat, sausages, and a container of Burrito filling.

8O

Double You Tee Eff. Granted we're not exactly well off, but we've never hurt for food, and he's not exactly that well off himself. Its mind boggling.

[Drakonis GTR]

About the only people I have ever had bring me food were members of the local baptist church. Mostly bread, and not nearly that often.

Is the guy kind of large? Maybe he's trying to get food out of his house to lose weight?

Hopefully you're double checking all of this food, the world being what it is and all.

[Red Shadow]

I suggest you ask him rather than us.

[Fishy]

If they live by themselves, maybe they just figure if it's approaching seel by date, and they're not gonna eat it, why waste it?

Doesn't sound sinister anyway.

[Paladin-01]

I'm never around when he does it, my parents are the one who gets it. And he's kinda tall and skinny. And yeah, we're making sure, though as I said, most of it is storebought and still sealed. Its weird is all.

[Darth Lime]

I suggest you ask him rather than us. QFE

[Kitsuta]

If they live by themselves, maybe they just figure if it's approaching seel by date, and they're not gonna eat it, why waste it?

Doesn't sound sinister anyway.

Yes. Also, try to get your folks to ask him?

This reminds me of a church we used to go to way far away - they had a shed(very, very cold) full of expired foods - all pastries and breads and sealed.. They were in perfect condition but the stores had to get rid of them for obvious legal purposes. So these people kept it in the fridge-shed and gave it to the local abuse shelter.

There was always lots so we occasionally took some as well. Very delicious.

[linkspast]

You should give him random boxes of food as well.

[Sir_NutS]

one advice: it's not rape if you enjoy it.

[The wingless]

You should give him random boxes of food as well.

BOXOFF!!!

[Zombie]

Your neighbor is obviously some sort of alien, Paladin-01. He is trying to feed you up, get you all fat and meaty, and when the time is right he will kidnap you and take you to the rest of his colony to feast. :twisted:

[Less Ashamed Of Self]

You should give him random boxes of food as well.

BOXOFF!!!

Oh shit. He's TOTALLY challenging you to a box off. Make the bitch cry.

[Linkjing Donuts]

he's slowly poisoning you


I hope you know this

[Nec5]

He gets a subsidy from the government for food rations. If he gives the Federal Bureau of Edible Foods and Liquids(BaFEL) a legit address like yours, he can pocket the extra cash.

[The Damned]

he's slowly poisoning you


I hope you know this
No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies.

Very clever, and fiendish.

[UnforgivingEdges]

he's slowly poisoning you


I hope you know this
No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies.

Very clever, and fiendish.

http://www.ukquad.com/speed.jpg

We've got to keep the bus over 50 mph!

[Quizzledorf]

wow dude, that's screwed up lol
i wish i could get free food :( unless of course it's really cheap and moldy

[The Damned]

Mold is just penicillin waiting to be.

[suzumebachi]

I have a neighbor like that. He has a small farm, and sometimes gives us fresh vegetables, or left over meat from his latest slaughter (he has sheep and cows-- both of which are yummy). But he's weird in other ways. For example, I haven't seen him leave his yard in six months...

Nice enough though.

[watkinzez]

Then bananas. Alright. Then more bananas.

He's rich.
Oh, right. America.

[Paladin-01]

No, he lives in a small old house, there's a trailer on the property, there are like 30 ducks, pheasants, peacocks. I'm wondering if he's insane. The food is good, I mean, the only complaints are that we couldn't eat the bananas fast enough. And they're from stores that are maybe 45 minutes and more away.

[friendlyHunter]

Perhaps someone is bringing him a bunch of food...?

Either that, or, we could take the poison theory one step further and say he's actually building up your immunity to the poison. That, and he's secretly part of the food mafia, and soon you're gonna have to pay him back for all the food favours he's been giving. If you say "I didn't eat any of it!", he'll pull the ol' midaeval witch test: take some poison - if you're immune you were lying, if it kills you, you were telling the truth. Oh, the possibilities!

[Less Ashamed Of Self]

Wait till he gets to the partridge in a pear tree.

[KWarp]

I think this is a plot from Unmod to invade Gendisc. :)

[Shadow Wolf]

he's slowly poisoning you


I hope you know this
No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies.

Very clever, and fiendish.

Because I'm a.) bored and b.) a total nerd, I feel compelled to point out that since he hasn't gotten sick from the food, the level of antidote must be enough to completely neutralize the poison. Therefore if he stopped eating the food, the result would be precisely dick, to quote Tommy Lee Jones.

On another note, does the guy say anything when he brings the food over, or does he just smile like a possum eating shit and then leave? Because It'd be creepy if he did that.

[Chizniz]

I have a neighbor like that. He has a small farm, and sometimes gives us fresh vegetables, or left over meat from his latest slaughter (he has sheep and cows-- both of which are yummy). But he's weird in other ways. For example, I haven't seen him leave his yard in six months...

Nice enough though.

Somewhere in Alberta, this guy who owned a farm killed a bunch of hookers and ground them up with pigs and froze them. Over the course of a month or two, he gave his neighbors hooker-pig meat which they happily ate. I can't remember what led to it, but a sample of the meat was analyzed and there were several human traces from numerous people found within it.

That, and the fact that some human remains were unearthed on his farm pretty much confirmed he was the hooker killer that the cops were looking for.

Moral of the story: It's good to be paranoid. At least that way you wont end up with some ho's toxic coochie mixed in with your family dinner.

[Shadow Wolf]

It's good to be paranoid. At least that way you wont end up with some ho's toxic coochie mixed in with your family dinner.

Sigged.

[The Damned]

I have a neighbor like that. He has a small farm, and sometimes gives us fresh vegetables, or left over meat from his latest slaughter (he has sheep and cows-- both of which are yummy). But he's weird in other ways. For example, I haven't seen him leave his yard in six months...

Nice enough though.

Somewhere in Alberta, this guy who owned a farm killed a bunch of hookers and ground them up with pigs and froze them. Over the course of a month or two, he gave his neighbors hooker-pig meat which they happily ate. I can't remember what led to it, but a sample of the meat was analyzed and there were several human traces from numerous people found within it.

That, and the fact that some human remains were unearthed on his farm pretty much confirmed he was the hooker killer that the cops were looking for.

Moral of the story: It's good to be paranoid. At least that way you wont end up with some ho's toxic coochie mixed in with your family dinner.
Wasn't that BC? No, wait, that was the giant pig farm where they found those hundred or so dead hookers.

What the fuck is with this country and dead hookers?

[Paladin-01]

...

...

That was an awful lot of bratwurst now that I think about it...

[Chizniz]

I have a neighbor like that. He has a small farm, and sometimes gives us fresh vegetables, or left over meat from his latest slaughter (he has sheep and cows-- both of which are yummy). But he's weird in other ways. For example, I haven't seen him leave his yard in six months...

Nice enough though.

Somewhere in Alberta, this guy who owned a farm killed a bunch of hookers and ground them up with pigs and froze them. Over the course of a month or two, he gave his neighbors hooker-pig meat which they happily ate. I can't remember what led to it, but a sample of the meat was analyzed and there were several human traces from numerous people found within it.

That, and the fact that some human remains were unearthed on his farm pretty much confirmed he was the hooker killer that the cops were looking for.

Moral of the story: It's good to be paranoid. At least that way you wont end up with some ho's toxic coochie mixed in with your family dinner.
Wasn't that BC? No, wait, that was the giant pig farm where they found those hundred or so dead hookers.

What the fuck is with this country and dead hookers?

Pancakes, flannel, and dead hookers. That about sums us up.

[Shadow Wolf]

Pancakes, flannel, and dead hookers. That about sums us up.

Can I just sig everything you've ever written?

[The wingless]

Pancakes, flannel, and dead hookers. That about sums us up.

Can I just sig everything you've ever written?

you used to sig me, you cocksneeze

[Drakonis GTR]

I'll sig you wingless, just give me something "witty"

:D

[Shadow Wolf]

I sigged you when you called me things like cocksneeze, anyways. It never would have worked between us, Wingless. I'm too white and nerdy.

[Trenthian]

You should give him random boxes of food as well.

BOXOFF!!!

just dont give him the food after you are done using, thats what we at the precinct call assault with a biological agent.

[Jabberbox]

Perhaps someone is bringing him a bunch of food...?

Either that, or, we could take the poison theory one step further and say he's actually building up your immunity to the poison. That, and he's secretly part of the food mafia, and soon you're gonna have to pay him back for all the food favours he's been giving. If you say "I didn't eat any of it!", he'll pull the ol' midaeval witch test: take some poison - if you're immune you were lying, if it kills you, you were telling the truth. Oh, the possibilities!

... you are sick, you know that?

[Paladin-01]

Finally got ahold of him and talked to him. He's with a Catholic foodbank thing, and whenever they get too many donations for their space, they have to give it out or throw it out.

Still no idea why he singles us out.

Boxes and boxes of meat and crap. Anyone for some lunch meat?

[friendlyHunter]

Perhaps someone is bringing him a bunch of food...?

Either that, or, we could take the poison theory one step further and say he's actually building up your immunity to the poison. That, and he's secretly part of the food mafia, and soon you're gonna have to pay him back for all the food favours he's been giving. If you say "I didn't eat any of it!", he'll pull the ol' midaeval witch test: take some poison - if you're immune you were lying, if it kills you, you were telling the truth. Oh, the possibilities!

... you are sick, you know that?
I hope you're joking, and I hope you know I was joking (yeah, the humour's a little sick if you look at it in a serious way for some reason...). But it doesn't matter to me what you think, because you're far off in -oh my gosh you're RIGHT BEHIND ME!!

[Hellcom]

he's slowly poisoning you


I hope you know this
No, I suspect that he is using a binary poison. The poison in in the food, but so is the antidote. As long as Paladin-01 keeps eating the food from his neighbor, the poison won't kill him. Stop eating, and he dies.

Very clever, and fiendish.

Also, not good for your thighs. :)

[Bummer]

He probably believes that you're his god embodied in a human body, and is therefore offering you some gifts so that you'll refrain from unleashing your wraith upon his house.

[JohnderriLLL]

omg people in America committing random acts of kindness!!! I dident know such people here existed.

[Less Ashamed Of Self]

Way to revive a dead thread.

What's the latest anyway; still getting boxes? Get any dead animals yet?

[King Matt I]

in before b&