The Coop
12-26-2006, 02:47 AM
So here we are. The final hour and a half of yet another Christmas day. Presents have been opened, food has been eaten, company has been enjoyed, and perhaps there was even a bit of singing in there somewhere. Of course, you might have been miserable and alone, cursing out everyone you've ever known and wishing nothing less than the most painful of deaths upon all around you (which incidentally, is having your eyelids cut of, your head taped into position, and being forced to watch "Cop Rock" episodes on an endless loop).
Either way, surely you've had a Christmas day that's spawned an interesting story or two before it was over. This thread is dedicated to that very thing, be they funny, touching, or unbelievable. And as the thread creator, allow me to share the latest...
This evening, my parents, brother and myself all gathered for dinner together. It was something of an odd dinner, seeing as it was spaghetti and meatballs, with homemade garlic bread to go along with it. We sat, ate, talked about things going on in the world, about past Christmas', and things of their ilk. However, little did we know that the topic, would soon become very focused on a single event.
After we'd eaten, and were just sitting there talking, I mother took a drink of water. Seems the water didn't feel like going down her throat, and instead tried to get into her windpipe. This of course, brought forth a series of coughs... and something else.
After a few small hacks, my Mom let out a pair of big coughs, and at the same time, a particularly loud pair of butt burps to go with those coughs.
I'm staring at her, trying my best not to laugh. My brother, with a mouth full of bread, simply stopped chewing and looked at her. My father, who had been looking at one of the cats on the floor, looked at her over the top of his glasses. My Mom looked at us with a "not a word" glare. Silence hung in the air as she cleared her throat in an attempt to get rid of the water that was still irritating her throat. A few seconds later, she let out a small cough... which was accompanied by a similarly small fart.
I lost it at this point. I leaned back in my chair laughing like a fool. By brother spit out the bread he was chewing, and my father just looked back down at his lap still trying not to laugh. Whether my Mom was embarrassed or not, I don't know. I say this, because I was wiping away tears from laughing so hard. My brother was doing the same, and eventually, my father finally gave in and laughed his ass off. Even my Mom had to surrender to laughter as she watched the rest of us.
Needless to say, it wasn't the way my Mom wanted dinner to end, but it certainly was a memorable way to do it. So let that be a lesson to you folks. If you have to fart, do so before you sit down for a family holiday dinner that typically lasts a while.
Care to share some of your own?
Either way, surely you've had a Christmas day that's spawned an interesting story or two before it was over. This thread is dedicated to that very thing, be they funny, touching, or unbelievable. And as the thread creator, allow me to share the latest...
This evening, my parents, brother and myself all gathered for dinner together. It was something of an odd dinner, seeing as it was spaghetti and meatballs, with homemade garlic bread to go along with it. We sat, ate, talked about things going on in the world, about past Christmas', and things of their ilk. However, little did we know that the topic, would soon become very focused on a single event.
After we'd eaten, and were just sitting there talking, I mother took a drink of water. Seems the water didn't feel like going down her throat, and instead tried to get into her windpipe. This of course, brought forth a series of coughs... and something else.
After a few small hacks, my Mom let out a pair of big coughs, and at the same time, a particularly loud pair of butt burps to go with those coughs.
I'm staring at her, trying my best not to laugh. My brother, with a mouth full of bread, simply stopped chewing and looked at her. My father, who had been looking at one of the cats on the floor, looked at her over the top of his glasses. My Mom looked at us with a "not a word" glare. Silence hung in the air as she cleared her throat in an attempt to get rid of the water that was still irritating her throat. A few seconds later, she let out a small cough... which was accompanied by a similarly small fart.
I lost it at this point. I leaned back in my chair laughing like a fool. By brother spit out the bread he was chewing, and my father just looked back down at his lap still trying not to laugh. Whether my Mom was embarrassed or not, I don't know. I say this, because I was wiping away tears from laughing so hard. My brother was doing the same, and eventually, my father finally gave in and laughed his ass off. Even my Mom had to surrender to laughter as she watched the rest of us.
Needless to say, it wasn't the way my Mom wanted dinner to end, but it certainly was a memorable way to do it. So let that be a lesson to you folks. If you have to fart, do so before you sit down for a family holiday dinner that typically lasts a while.
Care to share some of your own?