[SnappleMan]

Sounds good so far, just needs to be zazzed up a bit in the rhythm guitar department. It's just the same standard practice riff over and over, gotta wank that out. Also, try to cut down on the use of distorted guitars throughout the entire song, the material is very open to a softer section where you can introduce lots of musical concepts that you can expand on in a later verse of the song (like, writing a slow clean riff while you mellow out and give the listener some time to absorb the music, and then later reintroducing that riff as a faster, palm muted badass!)

Also, check out Ashane's version and steal some of his ideas, no remix of this song will ever get close to his, so it's okay to steal from it.

http://housethegrate.powweb.com/asha...us.Entropy.mp3 (part 1)
http://housethegrate.powweb.com/asha...Mammon-WIP.mp3 (part 2) (poorly written lyrics aside...)