[The Vagrance]

Originally Posted by Doni

Hopefully you can provide a bit more insight based on my comments here. thanks!

Gladly!

Oh, I know, it does have a long intro for sure. Actually this is what I was going for. I'm an house/electro DJ and I wanted a song that would phase people out and be a nice little segway. So perhaps it may seem a little long as a standalone track, but I probably won't change this

Its not so much the long intro that irks me, as the fact that generally intros are supposed to either:
a. Build up constantly until the drop
or
b. Build up until the breakdown before the drop, then build up again immediately.

The problem is, you essentially go through the entire song, and then drop into the main section, maybe you could try expanding a section of the song a bit more before moving on to the next?

Point taken. To be honest I listened to all the other corridors remixes and thought that most of them didn't do anything to the arrangement. But despite this, my goal was simply to "awesomeize" the arrangement. To be fair, I programmed the drums and added to the bassline in the electro section... I did arp the snyth for the last section and the outro was completely different at least

Yeah, I'm well aware of the challenge of mixing up the arrangement considering you probably listened to my mix ;). That said, I wasn't specifically referring to the arrangement in terms of notes, but rather the overall structure, tone, and atmosphere of the piece. I understand your goal to "awesomeize" the arrangement but instead of simply adding synths try to nail a feeling to it. Try to make it feel like you're stuck in the underwater dungeon (Its been a long time since I've played Chrono Trigger) and the machines are pulsating around you and the guards are attempting to seize you, something like that.

And I liked the outro, but talking about things I liked is boring.

I usually struggle with kicks, perhaps I could layer another meatier sounding kick underneath to give it some added depth. I'm sorry to say but electro house is always on a basic 4/4 groove... I appreciate all kinds of music very deeply but in this case I think you might need to consider that you just don't like the style. But what elements do you think I should be dirtying up instead of the bass and in some parts the synth?

No, I'm definitely familiar with electro house, what I'm saying is that you're relying to much on your kick to provide the groove. Take for example this electro house track: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjVP6anFw5w). Notice how the bass and kick play off of each other and the drums pump in and out, also notice the subtle percussion in the upbeat. House thrives on funky grooves, hell thats pretty much the entire basis for minimal house/techno right now.

As for the kick, you may want to just start with finding a different sample as opposed to layering a bunch on and hoping something good comes out; you may want to play with your setting on your compressor but much more importantly EQ your kick wisely. That said, layering a 909 kick almost always will fatten up a kick without being overwhelming, so thats never a bad place to start.

Ok, let me try this. Originally I wanted to do this but I don't want it to get too complicated. I want the song to flow and in the past I've been told I'm doing too much with the elements and making them too busy. The kick drives thei mix in this type of music...

There's a lot going on in the arrangement so interpreting it is tricky and I don't have a rock solid answer for you as to how you should go about it, but always remember: "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

And sorry if it seems like I'm being harsh, but I'd much rather tell you what I think is wrong than to tell you "nice work" and move on. Also, don't think for a second that I'm right on some of this stuff, you can choose to ignore what you want, but I'm giving my opinion from the standpoint of someone who listens to a lot of drum and bass, underground rap, and weird punk/post-hardcore/indie rock.

[Doni]

Originally Posted by The Vagrance

Its not so much the long intro that irks me, as the fact that generally intros are supposed to either:
a. Build up constantly until the drop
or
b. Build up until the breakdown before the drop, then build up again immediately.

The problem is, you essentially go through the entire song, and then drop into the main section, maybe you could try expanding a section of the song a bit more before moving on to the next?

Picture this track mixed after a fairly strong track. The intro bells could be looped and mixed into the end of the previous track. Slowly the drums from the prior track would verb out and disintegrate and at that point i'd let this track take over. I wanted this arrangement to work in that context and for people who have never heard this song before. BUT i will consider this for my updated version

Originally Posted by The Vagrance

Yeah, I'm well aware of the challenge of mixing up the arrangement considering you probably listened to my mix ;). That said, I wasn't specifically referring to the arrangement in terms of notes, but rather the overall structure, tone, and atmosphere of the piece. I understand your goal to "awesomeize" the arrangement but instead of simply adding synths try to nail a feeling to it. Try to make it feel like you're stuck in the underwater dungeon (Its been a long time since I've played Chrono Trigger) and the machines are pulsating around you and the guards are attempting to seize you, something like that.

I know exactly what you mean... I guess I'm just trying to make sure this track works with the rest of the music I normally play in my DJ sets

Originally Posted by The Vagrance

And I liked the outro, but talking about things I liked is boring.

hahaha it's called encouragement lol

Originally Posted by The Vagrance

No, I'm definitely familiar with electro house, what I'm saying is that you're relying to much on your kick to provide the groove. Take for example this electro house track: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjVP6anFw5w). Notice how the bass and kick play off of each other and the drums pump in and out, also notice the subtle percussion in the upbeat. House thrives on funky grooves, hell thats pretty much the entire basis for minimal house/techno right now.

I see what you mean. I might change it up in some parts. Add a little bit of spice here and there. But, I really wanted the progressions to speak for themselves. The beat is important, but it just needs to reinforce the progression. Overall I wasn't really impressd with that track much. It's not the kind of electro I'm much into. I know what you are refering too though, take a listen to an original track of mine and tell me if you find the same problems here: http://www.donimusic.com/projects/Th...0Forboding.mp3

Originally Posted by The Vagrance

As for the kick, you may want to just start with finding a different sample as opposed to layering a bunch on and hoping something good comes out; you may want to play with your setting on your compressor but much more importantly EQ your kick wisely. That said, layering a 909 kick almost always will fatten up a kick without being overwhelming, so thats never a bad place to start.

I'll probably do that. My current kick cuts through the mix well, but it might sound weak on some systems. I guess it might lack some power

Originally Posted by The Vagrance

There's a lot going on in the arrangement so interpreting it is tricky and I don't have a rock solid answer for you as to how you should go about it, but always remember: "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."

You are wise, young one.

Originally Posted by The Vagrance

And sorry if it seems like I'm being harsh, but I'd much rather tell you what I think is wrong than to tell you "nice work" and move on. Also, don't think for a second that I'm right on some of this stuff, you can choose to ignore what you want, but I'm giving my opinion from the standpoint of someone who listens to a lot of drum and bass, underground rap, and weird punk/post-hardcore/indie rock.

You've got some good points. I think its possible to make some adjustments to move towards pleasing while not displeasing the majority of those who like it. Criticism is the only way to improve, I am in fact quite thankful for your meticulous analysis. I'll let everyone know when I post up another version.. probably in a couple days or so...

[Doni]

Hey everybody :)

I've updated the track... closer to a final version now I believe!

Here's what I changed:

• Changed some instruments in the intro part
• added a few samples for some atmospherics, not much though
• eq'd some nitpicky details
• changed the kick to a 909 (side note, I was ignoring the 909 because my sample sucked ass. I found a new sample and was struck by how it was so simpo )
• added my own little synth sequence to bridge sections and build up a little sexier
• changed the buildup
• changed some drums but not much

Overall I'm quite happy with this one. After I get some more feedback I think I will submit it. I think that it's got a good chance of being accepted but we'll have to see! Thanks to everybody to gave their advice so far... it's much appreciated!

Here's the link one more time:

http://www.donimusic.com/projects/Doni%20-Trigga%20(Corridor%20of%20Time%20Remix).mp3

Thanks again all Time for some sleep!

[Doni]

Yuck, I forgot to renew my hosting for my webpage... please standby... what poor timing!!!

[Doni]

Ok disaster averted... the link should work now so please have a listen :)

[Doni]

Any takers?

[BlackPanther]

I listened to it before but didn't get a chance to critique it. As a song itself I really like it. When I get more time I'll do more of a somewhat thorough response.

[Doni]

Hey all

I've posted a final draft version of the track up. Although nobody commented on the versions in between

Anyways, I'm feeling quite 100 percent on this piece now. It has tormented me for about 2 weeks solid and I believe it should please the lot of you. I'm going to submit it in a few days if I don't hear anybody point out something glaring that I've missed or that my deaf ears couldn't pick up

Link once again:

http://www.donimusic.com/projects/Doni%20-Trigga%20(Corridor%20of%20Time%20Remix).mp3

thanks all time for sleep yuck

[rig1015]

Another Chrono Mix! Love the approach.
Took a long listen; as you are building up into you drums for the first time your kick shuffles seemed over done... too much pressure, maybe sweep a low-cut filter under them as you build.

All in all the mix felt dense but you said you were going for that over compressed sound. Hope it does well.

[gwilendiel]

Nice!

Some suggestions (my opinions only, I'm no master of music):
The opening sounds a little shallow to me, I'd maybe change one one of the toms/bongos to a lower one.

In the beginning, the bass is a little fat to me. When other instruments come in later, the fatness is good, but when it's by itself it could use a little less low frequency or a little more high... it isn't drastic, only a minor tweak would be good. This may be a scenario where you adjust eq 'on the fly'.

The same with the kick drum when it first comes in, it's a little too punchy for not having much else around it. Later on the punchiness is very good, but not when its alone. It also needs a way to be 'introduced' less abruptly somehow.

Again, just what I personally would do if it were me, what you do is you.

Edit: disregard my comment about the kick, I missed your revised version. I'd say the kick is quite a bit better in that one.