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Old 10-28-2009, 02:28 AM
halozero's Avatar
halozero halozero is offline
Cody Walton
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New York, NY
Default SimCity 2000 - Urban Renewal

Hello OCRemixers

OK. This is my first time posting something in the WIP forum. I've been a OCR fan for years, and I'm finally getting into making some myself. So here's my first attempt. It's a track from SimCity 2000, done in a grunge/thrash style. Done all in GarageBand.


http://ocrwip.fireslash.net/?fid=504

For reference, here's the original:
http://codywalton.com/music/10005.MID

Feedback? Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

Last edited by halozero; 10-28-2009 at 02:44 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10-28-2009, 03:54 AM
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SoulinEther SoulinEther is offline
Ryu Hayabusa (+700)
 
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Hey, this isn't bad. It mostly feels like it's building up to something big and dirty (up until 1:28 ). For that reason, I feel like the breakdown is out of place. Needs something... like a wall of sound. The original is pretty sparse, and you've done a lot with it already, but it needs something at 1:28. You introduce a lot of ideas... maybe find a way to combine them together for a sort of climax.
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Old 10-28-2009, 04:23 AM
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Arcana Arcana is offline
Irwin
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Not bad for a first remix.

Needs some more backing, as mentioned this track is pretty sparse. It also goes by really quickly. I think it's because there exclamations of ideas, but not really good development yet. For example, there can be more expression at 0:40 before the breakdown.

I'm kind of confused about the tone that you're wanting to set by this track as well. Are you going for a rocking-out type of song? Drums seem to imply that awesome stuff's going to go down, but the guitars are very laid back in comparison. I think it's because the sequencing isn't expressive enough yet, if you work on that for the guitars you can make the track rock out a lot more.

So I'd work on developing the track more, theme-wise, and then work on making everything more expressive. Choose if you want to go more bombastic and energy-inducing, or if you're more about a reflective track and adjust accordingly.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:42 PM
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halozero halozero is offline
Cody Walton
 
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Location: New York, NY
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Thanks! I know it needs more work, but I feel like I'm on the right track with it. Arcana is right in that the theme needs to be more clearly defined. I am going for a more high-energy rock concept, so I'll work on that. I'll flesh out the beginning more (before the breakdown) and work on the guitars. Right now it's all midi, but I plan on adding real guitar for a solo towards the end, and extend the total time out at least beyond 2:00.

I really appreciate the feedback! A lot of work to do on this, but I'm hoping to polish it enough to be my first official OCR submission.
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Old 11-04-2009, 01:57 AM
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halozero halozero is offline
Cody Walton
 
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Location: New York, NY
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I've made some adjustments. Added some elements, modified some elements, etc. etc.

V1.1 for your review:


For reference, here's the original:
http://codywalton.com/music/10005.MID

Please let me know what you think. Thanks!
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