[gwilendiel]

Hello... first post.

I've actually already submitted this song, but I've kind of lost interest in pursuing it as far as OCR is concerned. If it makes it or not, so be it.

I still welcome any comments though. And yes, some might consider the end to be abrupt, but I assure you it isn't from not being able to make any ending I want to. But other than that one obvious thing, feel free... [edited for clarity]

http://www.tindeck.com/listen/aszs

[DJ Velly]

You definitely have something going here with the electric vibe. Kudos for the work so far.

I think this definitely needs some variation on theme. You've got a nice bed around the basic theme, and an interesting pike for the theme itself... it just repeats too many times without variation. I also think the second part of the theme (the repeated notes) needs more fatness to it, maybe add another layer of instrumentation to that and turn the theme down a bit, or even add harmonies on top of the theme.

Also, as you pointed out, the ending is quite abrupt. You seem to like it that way, but I would suggest bringing it to a tighter close, bringing the theme down to its base note with a one- or two-bar variation end.

Keep working at it. I'd love to hear the next version. :)

[gwilendiel]

Originally Posted by DJ Velly

You definitely have something going here with the electric vibe. Kudos for the work so far.

I think this definitely needs some variation on theme. You've got a nice bed around the basic theme, and an interesting pike for the theme itself... it just repeats too many times without variation. I also think the second part of the theme (the repeated notes) needs more fatness to it, maybe add another layer of instrumentation to that and turn the theme down a bit, or even add harmonies on top of the theme.

Also, as you pointed out, the ending is quite abrupt. You seem to like it that way, but I would suggest bringing it to a tighter close, bringing the theme down to its base note with a one- or two-bar variation end.

Keep working at it. I'd love to hear the next version. :)

Good feedback! You actually surprised me. :)

I may incorporate some changes if I get around to it, because I agree with you. I knew it had some kind of problems, but I also enjoy the way it is, so I tend to become ambivalent... but that has to do with my whole philosophy of music which I won't go into here.

But anyway, thanks for your help!

[gwilendiel]

Well here it is. v2

http://www.tindeck.com/listen/dsdl

My work there is done. Because I say it is. Because I now officially hate this song, and Elec Man. And FL Studio. If I have to open this song again in FL Studio, someone will probably DIE.


But please, feel free to comment.