[Doni]

Originally Posted by rig1015

Another Chrono Mix! Love the approach.
Took a long listen; as you are building up into you drums for the first time your kick shuffles seemed over done... too much pressure, maybe sweep a low-cut filter under them as you build.

All in all the mix felt dense but you said you were going for that over compressed sound. Hope it does well.

I agree about the kicks at the build up. They are a bit overpowering. I put a delay on them and I think i could probably adjust the dry/wet and feedback on it as well as put some filter so that effect can be a bit cleaner. I was wrestling with this but you've help push me over the edge and I will make that adjustment for sure!

[Doni]

Originally Posted by gwilendiel

Nice!

Some suggestions (my opinions only, I'm no master of music):
The opening sounds a little shallow to me, I'd maybe change one one of the toms/bongos to a lower one.

Indeed I have struggled with this... originally I had some lower ones but couldn't really get the drums to work with the bass... I will consider this, as I have been pondering this myself

Originally Posted by gwilendiel

In the beginning, the bass is a little fat to me. When other instruments come in later, the fatness is good, but when it's by itself it could use a little less low frequency or a little more high... it isn't drastic, only a minor tweak would be good. This may be a scenario where you adjust eq 'on the fly'.

If you have a chance, could you tell me the specific times you are talking about? No worries if not, but let me know!

The same with the kick drum when it first comes in, it's a little too punchy for not having much else around it. Later on the punchiness is very good, but not when its alone. It also needs a way to be 'introduced' less abruptly somehow.

Originally Posted by gwilendiel

Again, just what I personally would do if it were me, what you do is you.

Such carefulness when delivering constructive criticism Isn't it interesting though, how many people cannot take criticism? Considering the very notion of giving criticism is in the context of benefiting the person it is directed at, I find it hard to see so many around me taking so much personal offense when their work is affected on by words of critique.

Forgive me for that contrived statement; I do appreciate your candor and indeed everybody's candor in offering advice. But isn't it curious that most people see such advices as attacks in this world?

Originally Posted by gwilendiel

Edit: disregard my comment about the kick, I missed your revised version. I'd say the kick is quite a bit better in that one.

Could the same be said then about the bass in the beginning? let me know if possible :)

[gwilendiel]

Originally Posted by Doni

Such carefulness when delivering constructive criticism Isn't it interesting though, how many people cannot take criticism? Considering the very notion of giving criticism is in the context of benefiting the person it is directed at, I find it hard to see so many around me taking so much personal offense when their work is affected on by words of critique.

See that's the thing. I don't know what you know, what you did on purpose, or what sounds 'bad' to be due to your inexperience or whatever. Maybe you want it to sound a certain way, and you know about it, so who would I be to judge?

Like if I were to tell you about filtering but you are already a master of filtering and just chose not to use it for your own reasons.

Plus I don't like to be overly specific, because it takes me time, and is done in professional regard when I am not a professional at reviews. In addition to the fact that I want you to hear for yourself, not do something just because I asked you. Maybe you'll hear a different thing from what I do and you'll make it better than I could have suggested.

Sorry for the philosophical discussion there... that's just how I am though.

[Doni]

Originally Posted by gwilendiel

See that's the thing. I don't know what you know, what you did on purpose, or what sounds 'bad' to be due to your inexperience or whatever. Maybe you want it to sound a certain way, and you know about it, so who would I be to judge?

Like if I were to tell you about filtering but you are already a master of filtering and just chose not to use it for your own reasons.

Plus I don't like to be overly specific, because it takes me time, and is done in professional regard when I am not a professional at reviews. In addition to the fact that I want you to hear for yourself, not do something just because I asked you. Maybe you'll hear a different thing from what I do and you'll make it better than I could have suggested.

Sorry for the philosophical discussion there... that's just how I am though.

Worry not my friend, my comments were directed at you, nay not even all the peoples of this forum. Just a general observation!

But truly, your unbridled opinion is absolutely valuable. My ears can only hear things the way they hear things. Certainly the same could be said about your ears, another one's ears, and so on. Also, as you know, a certain 'desensitization' occurs when you've worked on one piece of music for a long time; this of course lending itself to errors in judgment, execution, and composition.

This song is, after all, for the world. Of course, I must enjoy it too, the song being a product of myself and a composition I have enjoyed for many years. What I mean is, if something doesn't sound good, and a listener has pointed that out, in the spirit of providing the best piece I can for the listenership I must do my best to heed these remarks; and I would hope the same attitude would be adhered to by all.

So with that said, indeed I agree we must be careful to not insult a person for their efforts, but we should not let our assumptions get in the way of a full assessment; as time permits of course.

[gwilendiel]

Originally Posted by Doni

Worry not my friend, my comments were directed at you, nay not even all the peoples of this forum. Just a general observation!

But truly, your unbridled opinion is absolutely valuable. My ears can only hear things the way they hear things. Certainly the same could be said about your ears, another one's ears, and so on. Also, as you know, a certain 'desensitization' occurs when you've worked on one piece of music for a long time; this of course lending itself to errors in judgment, execution, and composition.

This song is, after all, for the world. Of course, I must enjoy it too, the song being a product of myself and a composition I have enjoyed for many years. What I mean is, if something doesn't sound good, and a listener has pointed that out, in the spirit of providing the best piece I can for the listenership I must do my best to heed these remarks; and I would hope the same attitude would be adhered to by all.

So with that said, indeed I agree we must be careful to not insult a person for their efforts, but we should not let our assumptions get in the way of a full assessment; as time permits of course.

Good points!

When I can get around to it I'll give it another listen if you want. Right now my ears are tired too, as you rightly explained above.... so some times it's hard to want to be accurate when my own ears are already practically bleeding from working on my own stuff like they were when I wrote that haha.

but anyway :)

[Doni]

Originally Posted by gwilendiel

Good points!

When I can get around to it I'll give it another listen if you want. Right now my ears are tired too, as you rightly explained above.... so some times it's hard to want to be accurate when my own ears are already practically bleeding from working on my own stuff like they were when I wrote that haha.

but anyway :)

worry not my friend! I'll update this post when I have put up another version. What kind of man would I be if I besieged you bleeding ears for such a trivial matter! Thanks again

[thegamefreak0134]

I hate to break up the wonderful philisophical discussion going on here, but I feel that I should offer up some of that critique stuff of the ages.

I notice a few things as I'm listening here for the first time. At 0:32, the chords coming in sound out of place somewhat. I would feel more comfortable with them if they were overlayed on something else, like if the synth before them hadn't faded out completely.

Overall it sounds really good past 1:42, I think the House style you were going for came out really well. I'm going to listen to it again with proper bass (^_^) and probably love it from that point on.

Some people might criticize you for using the original sound samples at the beginning, but I think they're perfect, especially since you don't keep them for terribly long. It makes it clear that you're transitioning from a rather solid cover-like intro to a much more interpretive house piece throughout the song.

Ooh... I love the dirty bass work around 6:00 and onward, nicely done.

*repeats track for second listen*

The drumline at 0:16 is golden, really it is. I feel that at 0:32, it might work well to layer another drum (something deeper, like the deep bongo suggested before me) into the mix, to give it a bit more depth. Still, it's fine the way it is.

1:02 to 1:33 is perfect, it's an area where the chords I mentioned (starting at 0:32) really sound good with the flute above and the bass below. While they don't work exposed, they *do* work with other things going on around them. From here on out the piece really has body, none of that empty feeling from the intro. If this was intended, I'd work only on making the exposed parts in the intro not as raw, so they don't sound out of place.

Ok, the long synth around 3:25 sounds bad to me. There's not enough variation, you've got just the one stale chord and the original arpeggio from the song. When you start adding in the lower notes around 3:39 it resolves and sounds great, but I also note that it fades that one synth out at that point. Perhaps you could cut from 3:25 to 3:39 directly? The break is good, but it's a bit longish, and if you started adding the lower synths immediately with much less of a delay, it wouldn't sound so bare. Meh, just a thought. If not a direct cut, it would also work if you reduced it from 8 measures to just 4.

Overall I like the piece. It's a bit long, but this style of music tends to do that, and it's good for DJ work especially since that makes it more fun to mix with. Knowing that you had this in mind, I can't criticize the length at all.

I feel that I'm being nit picky here, so like usual don't take offense. I kept production strictly *off* the list as it's still not something I'd consider myself skilled at, this review is solely based on what I can hear, and not at all based on what I know your studio software is capable of. Can't wait for the final version, I think with just a bit more tweaking this is on par with most everything I've seen submitted here, so I'll wish you luck. ^_^ Later, I'll listen to it with real bass.

-gamefreak

[BlackPanther]

This is pretty sweet. My biggest thing was that long ass note towards the middle. No variation whatsoever so I'm just like when is this gonna stop. If you're gonna hold it that long, put some variation in there or turn it into a melody of some sorts. The bassline sounds pretty cool because of the grit that's on top gives it that nice house sound. You do that long note thing again towards the end of the song as well put some variation on it and it'll become less unbearable not to say that in a disrespectful way it'll be more interesting, that sounds better lol. But yeah pretty sparse feedback but I suck at critiquing peoples work so I apologize for that.

Other than that great stuff man I really don't see why this wouldn't be posted on ocr after a few more tweeks because it sounds pretty good production wise there's nothin that sticks out like this was produced bad or below the average line so you have a good thing goin.

[Doni]

I've posted up another version. Now I must die and go to sleep. I will add more comments tomorrow but let me just quickly say that I very much appreciate everybody's comments!

link again:

http://www.donimusic.com/projects/Doni%20-Trigga%20(Corridor%20of%20Time%20Remix).mp3

[gwilendiel]

I'm listening on a kind of bad setup right now so take what I say with a truckload of salt.

Well, I like it! I think maybe you went too far the 'other way' on my suggestion with the opening bass (though the new change it creates is interesting!) comes in at like :31 or :32

What I had said before was more to do with the band width and placement of the bass, wasn't really all that audible (so maybe I shouldn't have said! haha) so now it might need fattening or be in between what it was and what it is, somewhere.

But I like where the 'double bass' drops in after 1:00, it sounds good thereafter.

And the long string sections could maybe be a good place for effects, like a filter, flanger or phaser. Seems like a nice spot to 'demo' something.

And again, my opinions (opinions currently being made in a system that has problems in itself)