[Delicious Heart Lyrics]

It's always a joy for me to hear a lyrical track. Beautiful lyrics!
When will you submit this on ocremix?

For some time, I was searching some fan remixes about Cave Story and I find this one, a vocal remix also, then maybe you will appreciate it.
"Rocks, Robots and Love"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaCDg2Kefl8

[Cyril the Wolf]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonsongmaster2.mp3

update.

It's better.

[Gario]

MOD REVIEW

Dunno if it's ponies or whatnot, but you really have an improved sound to your remixing, as of late. I'mma liking this one quite a bit.

Just a note about the singing - while it's a neat tone (sounds a little like Symphony X when they're singing a more pure tone, to me), and the raw, non-autotuned sound is refreshing to hear (not that you ever autotuned, I'm just sayin' overall), you have a tendency to sing a hint flat over time (and every once in a while, really flat, like the attack at 1:08 ). It's not enough to make the song hard to listen to, but it's enough to color the entire track just a little droopy. Don't worry about it as much, here, but for future tracks keep that in mind and brighten your sound up, maybe even sing a hint sharp for you, it'll make a big impact on your music.

The synth work is excellent, and the guitar playing is effective. I would've liked a more distinct tone to the rhythm guitar guitar, though (the rhythm sounds a little like guitar soup, as it stands). If at all possible, give the rhythm guitar a more distinct tone, or accent the rhythm better in the performance. I can understand that you don't want to re-record any guitar work for this track, so if not for this track, then I'd like to see that for the next track, at the very least.

The arrangement is pretty neat, but with that fade-out ending it sounds... incomplete. Sometimes a F/O works, and sometimes it doesn't, and this is one of those cases where closing off the song would've been far more effective. Find a way to close this track off better, I suspect the judges wouldn't be too impressed with this ending.

Other than that, this is a sexy beast. Fix that ending in particular and maybe the guitar tone for this one and I could see a front page track, on your hands.

[Cyril the Wolf]

Argh Gario, you just had to pick the part that will be the MOST difficult for me to fix.
Seriously. AkNOIN(*#GN(Gn

XD

Otherwise,

I have 3 weeks before I can sub this bad boy anyway so... TIMMMMMEEEE is on my side.

[evktalo]

Much improved if I recall correctly. Vocals much better.

crits:

Not sure if it's the headphones, but I can't seem to hear any bass (guitar) in the mix.

Beginning, when things come in, there's lack of definition. The very start, it just seem to fade in very suddenly. I think it'd be better if it started with a bit of silence and you could hear the first note. Similarly, guitars and vocals coming in 00:16-00:17, especially the vocal entrance sounds kind of rushed. It's important to start with clarity and confidence, especially since the vocals do sound clear and confident mostly otherwise!

The beginning of the 1:08 verse with rockier vocals is a little off-tune, and again makes for a sloppy start for an otherwise all right singing.

The first high screamed "memories consumed" is also slightly off, though I don't actually mind that bit, for me it just adds a little of the appropriate emotion to it.

I wasn't sold on a portion of the guitar solo, 02:57-03:05, it feels a little off-time, off-tune, exposed/dry. The previous bit and the end were fine. Could be played tighter, the sound could perhaps be a little beefier, or the mixing in that spot could support it a little more.

03:22 - the vocal again has a weak start, while by the end it sounds very good with the end of the scream. NO PUSSYFOOTING!

When I sing, I have trouble with starts of song, starts of verses etc. I try to feel like I'm already "inside" the song and already singing, even if I'm actually not. That helps for me. Not sure if that makes sense.. When recording, you can even figure out a "lead in" that you start singing before the part actually starts to get your voice ready, and then cut it off after recording. Not sure though if any real singer or producer - me being neither - would recommend such a technique! :D

04:04 - I'd suggest putting the falsetto vocals to the background and bringing the lead guitar to the front at this point, to change things up a bit. We've already been hit with several volleys of vocals in succession. Let's hear that getaaarrrr.

The fade-out is a bit fast or sudden.

Big list of crits, but this is a great arrangement with really effective lyrics.. it deserves a bit of more polish on the execution side, to be awesome. The treatment of the source is both natural and unexpected!

--Eino

[Cyril the Wolf]

Originally Posted by evktalo

Much improved if I recall correctly. Vocals much better.

crits:

Not sure if it's the headphones, but I can't seem to hear any bass (guitar) in the mix.

Beginning, when things come in, there's lack of definition. The very start, it just seem to fade in very suddenly. I think it'd be better if it started with a bit of silence and you could hear the first note. Similarly, guitars and vocals coming in 00:16-00:17, especially the vocal entrance sounds kind of rushed. It's important to start with clarity and confidence, especially since the vocals do sound clear and confident mostly otherwise!

The beginning of the 1:08 verse with rockier vocals is a little off-tune, and again makes for a sloppy start for an otherwise all right singing.

The first high screamed "memories consumed" is also slightly off, though I don't actually mind that bit, for me it just adds a little of the appropriate emotion to it.

I wasn't sold on a portion of the guitar solo, 02:57-03:05, it feels a little off-time, off-tune, exposed/dry. The previous bit and the end were fine. Could be played tighter, the sound could perhaps be a little beefier, or the mixing in that spot could support it a little more.

03:22 - the vocal again has a weak start, while by the end it sounds very good with the end of the scream. NO PUSSYFOOTING!

When I sing, I have trouble with starts of song, starts of verses etc. I try to feel like I'm already "inside" the song and already singing, even if I'm actually not. That helps for me. Not sure if that makes sense.. When recording, you can even figure out a "lead in" that you start singing before the part actually starts to get your voice ready, and then cut it off after recording. Not sure though if any real singer or producer - me being neither - would recommend such a technique! :D

04:04 - I'd suggest putting the falsetto vocals to the background and bringing the lead guitar to the front at this point, to change things up a bit. We've already been hit with several volleys of vocals in succession. Let's hear that getaaarrrr.

The fade-out is a bit fast or sudden.

Big list of crits, but this is a great arrangement with really effective lyrics.. it deserves a bit of more polish on the execution side, to be awesome. The treatment of the source is both natural and unexpected!

--Eino

There is no bass guitar! its just a bass synth for this song. I'll consider the other crits, but oh man I don't think I wanna re-record everything, though I may try the guitar solo a little better.

Though I may have to re-record like... stuff to get that ending right. ARGH. XD

[Anorax]

Originally Posted by Cyril the Wolf

Though I may have to re-record like... stuff to get that ending right. ARGH. XD

don't you mean record an actual ending instead of a fade-out?

No, I really like this track, but I don't think I'll be able to crit right now because I'm a bit tired.

You've really improved Connie Cyril. I blame ponies XD

[evktalo]

The headphones last time have to have been really shitty, because I can hear the bass just good with these shitty headphones. I can hear it's really subtle in the sense that it's just there to provide the bass end.. it works, since it leaves room for the rest of the mix. I play bass so I'm just a fan of big bass guitar.. ;) I still feel the comment I made way back, that the bass could pick up during the outro stands. And maybe during the guitar solo a bit, too.

Originally Posted by Cyril the Wolf

oh man I don't think I wanna re-record everything

I know the feeling.. If you're not up for re-recording now, you can use that feedback to improve in the future. Frankly, listening to the piece now, the somewhat weak starts don't really bother me. Getting them better will improve the impression you give, it's like a small thing that's worth working on at this point, but the singing here is in a pretty good level already.

One more thing that I thought this time around was the beginning.. it could have some sort of ambience, the whole thing starts really dry (and contributes to the "sudden" feeling I commented last time). Some sort of reverbated sound effect thing starting the whole thing with the melody/bass coming (quickly) in might help with this.

Overall I keep enjoying this mix quite a bit!

edit: One thing that you have in the vocals is that they do start out a little mellower and grow from there --- this is a *very* good thing and I'm certainly not criticising that! It's a thing that gives a good emotional weight and musical development to the singing and lyrics. This way outweights what technical shortcomings I can hear there. Good stuff, don't take me wrong!

--Eino

[Cyril the Wolf]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonlightfinal4.mp3

What I really think I need to do with this is give a bit more reverb/delay to the guitar solo.

Outside of that, I think this is PRETTY MUCH DONE.

Tried to clean things up as much as possible, I just don't have the time nowadays to re-record things 50000 times.

I also may record some bass guitar during the guitar solo or outro idk. (You're also talking to a bass guitarist Eino haha)

[Cyril the Wolf]

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/4968788/moonlightfinal6.mp3 lol