[avaris]

Kick is still terrible. It is completely lost in the mix. EQ out with a parametric EQ everything around 800Hz on the kick. It will help the track breathe considerably.

The Open Hat is way too loud and unpleasant in the high frequencies. No way a hat should ever over shadow a good sounding synth part.

I believe a lot of the issues in the song relate to mixing. The levels are off all over the place. Try starting off with this basic 2 part tutorial:

(should provide a nice reference point)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYzUkjKCTks&feature=plcp

[Blindzoom]

Originally Posted by avaris

Kick is still terrible. It is completely lost in the mix. EQ out with a parametric EQ everything around 800Hz on the kick. It will help the track breathe considerably.

The Open Hat is way too loud and unpleasant in the high frequencies. No way a hat should ever over shadow a good sounding synth part.

I believe a lot of the issues in the song relate to mixing. The levels are off all over the place. Try starting off with this basic 2 part tutorial:

(should provide a nice reference point)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYzUkjKCTks&feature=plcp

Thank you Avaris for your advice, i'm still working on the rythmic part, but let me know if i'm moving in the right way with the kick
http://soundcloud.com/blindzoom/holding-wip-07-11-2012

and previous version for reference

http://soundcloud.com/blindzoom/holding-wip-03-07-2012

[Blindzoom]

Updating:
I've got the kick to breath a little more, redone must of the rythmic part and changed some levels\eq, now this seems more cohesive to me, but at this point i gave far too listenings to this track, so i hope someone with fresh ears gives his two cents on this.
http://soundcloud.com/blindzoom/holding-wip-07-20-2012
and previous version for comparison
http://soundcloud.com/blindzoom/holding-wip-07-11-2012

I think i'm almost done, i'm going to give a little more variation on rythmics, but overall i like this.

[avaris]

Hey kick sounds much better! A lot of the synths seem to be overly bright. Might just be my headphones at work.

I think where the track needs the most work is the pacing. A lot of the ideas are good. The arrangement and changes in levels of energy need to be improved. This can be helped by choosing where to use certain sections. It's all about drawing in the listener and keeping them interested over the entire length of the track.

[Swifthom]

Not going to go back over prev versions, but of the 07.20.2012:

You've already had some good technical feedback so here's a more emotional overview.

Loved the slow intro, the build was just right and when things kicked off at the minute mark I found myself tapping my foot along. Perfect; that's just what you want

Wasn't too keen on the changup at the 2 minute mark, somewhere along the way the middle section lost my interest. Don't know why. Fortunately at the 2.30 breakdown my interest was regained and I loved it from there to the end.

Well done for a good track, I really enjoyed it

[Blindzoom]

Originally Posted by avaris

Hey kick sounds much better! A lot of the synths seem to be overly bright. Might just be my headphones at work.

It's all about drawing in the listener and keeping them interested over the entire length of the track.

THank you avaris, surely a simple advice but maybe the hardest to achieve

Originally Posted by Swifthom

Not going to go back over prev versions, but of the 07.20.2012:

You've already had some good technical feedback so here's a more emotional overview.

Loved the slow intro, the build was just right and when things kicked off at the minute mark I found myself tapping my foot along. Perfect; that's just what you want

Wasn't too keen on the changup at the 2 minute mark, somewhere along the way the middle section lost my interest. Don't know why. Fortunately at the 2.30 breakdown my interest was regained and I loved it from there to the end.

Well done for a good track, I really enjoyed it

And thank you swifthom,knowing someone liked this helped me to pull off some efforts on improving the track

[timaeus222]

For some reason, the sub bass that goes up until 0:39 bugs me. It might be because I just listened to someone else's Jungle-style remix, but anyways, that's how it appears to be.

At 0:45, I do agree with Rozo. The kick has a crazy amount of low end, and the decay on it is kind of irritating, no offense. Try using a different kick, one that's not so heavy on the subs or has so wide a frequency range in the lows.

At 0:49 - 0:52, the arp starts to get out of tune. I don't know if you wanted that, but it feels awkward to me. Otherwise, definitely try something like a constant timbre change. That would help a lot on its repetitive tone.

For some reason, the trance lead seems a tad over-detuned. Try reducing the detune on that just a bit, maybe about 2%, and that might help. I hear some rapid LFO on it sometimes, and it doesn't work that well with such a detuned lead.

Overall, add some more progressive elements and ideas in. It feels really repetitive most of the time. Good luck. :D

[Blindzoom]

Originally Posted by timaeus222

For some reason, the sub bass that goes up until 0:39 bugs me. It might be because I just listened to someone else's Jungle-style remix, but anyways, that's how it appears to be.

At 0:45, I do agree with Rozo. The kick has a crazy amount of low end, and the decay on it is kind of irritating, no offense. Try using a different kick, one that's not so heavy on the subs or has so wide a frequency range in the lows.

At 0:49 - 0:52, the arp starts to get out of tune. I don't know if you wanted that, but it feels awkward to me. Otherwise, definitely try something like a constant timbre change. That would help a lot on its repetitive tone.

For some reason, the trance lead seems a tad over-detuned. Try reducing the detune on that just a bit, maybe about 2%, and that might help. I hear some rapid LFO on it sometimes, and it doesn't work that well with such a detuned lead.

Overall, add some more progressive elements and ideas in. It feels really repetitive most of the time. Good luck. :D

Thanks for your comment.
Probably a matter of taste, but i do like how the sub string and the kick sounds.
What i can't notice is the getting out of tune of the arp, surely is not something i wanted, there is no changes in the arp loop except an envelope filter with the frequency slowly growing from the beginning of the track and starting decreasing when the main lead kicks in.
Speaking of the main lead, no lfo's on it, probably you're pointing at the small pitch shiftings i recorded for it.You're probably right on the over detuning, since it's a 5-synths based sound,i'll see what i can do.
However i'm switching to mod review, want to have some official critics.

[Gario]

MOD REVIEW

Damn, that's a nice beat, man! Freakin' love it. The constant juxtaposition of triplets and duplets is perfect. I did a short comparison between the two tracks, and I noticed a great deal of production clean-up that went into this version - much less soundscape mess, so excellent work.

That synth at 1:48 doesn't quite come in clearly. It's hard to hear it over everything else. You might consider raising it an octave or something so it doesn't blend as much as into the rest of the track. I will mention that this synth makes a small mess of things sonically when it comes in earlier, too - raising it up an octave could fix all of that. Tinker with it; give that synth some more TLC, and it'll be great for your mix.

Strangely, I looked at your 7-20 track, first. I got to looking at your latest track, and noticed that it's considerably messier at 1:05 this time around - that detuned synth really creates a mess... again, raising it an octave would do you wonders. You've got too much sound going at once in that area in both tracks, but what surprised me in the newer track is that at 0:38 you get a similar problem (that wasn't an issue in the older track). It's like you added reverb or stereo separation to some of your synths, and it made the sounds blend more this time around. Sharpen your sounds so they don't blend as much in that section - remove some reverb or centralize the sound a bit for the arp synth, or something, to clean up the soundscape in that area.

In all honesty, the rest of the track seems up for personal opinion. I found the arrangement to be acceptably varied, it has enough source, the drums sound nice and meaty (if a touch repetitive - not a deal breaker, imo) and it's overall very well produced. This genre kind of needs to be a little bit repetitive, so while it does have a repetitive nature, that's to be expected. Tinker with that synth, clean up the soundscape in the early part of the track and submit this bad boy - I think you'll do just fine on the panel this time around.

Loved it, nice work!

[ambient]

Ok, I know the main issue with this track - it's the mastering and EQ. Man, this track sounds like a recording of a live performance by a 90's German techno band at a stadium played on a tired cassette tape. I love it, and it's fun to listen to, and it reminds me of my misspent youth, but mastering has a long way to go before this is on par with OCR standards. I like the stereo effects, but you drown everything in reverb. So dial back on reverb a little bit, I think you have too much of it on every instrument, or are you applying it to the entire track?

At 0:47 you have a nice pump going when the kick comes in. However, I would recommend sidechaining the hoover synth that comes in at 1:06, it doesn't have to be much more, just a little bit more, so that the mix continues to pump.

The clap/snare at 1:45 is poor. You need something way better there. It is weak and cheesy. And from this point on you have some good ideas, but it all just is so mushed together and drowned in reverb.

I am actually surprised by this, but your piano section sounds better and clearer than the rest of the mix. That is not to say that the piano sounds good - it sounds way mechanical, but fits the genre and would be passable if the rest of the mastering is up to par.

My recommendation - turn down all the reverb knobs, take off all the EQing you might have done, turn down all the volumes. Then start bringing the volumes up, little by little, but don't overdo it. Then, start adding reverb, also very gently. If that is starting to sound right, then tweak your EQ, which shouldn't really require that much work. "Smiley face" EQ over the entire mix should suffice to start with. And replace that snare/clap.

Finally, the arrangement. It is more or less straight forward, and I think the long intro and the final section that are devoid of the main melody will work against you when you submit. I would recommend adding the main theme (possibly via the piano) from 3:38 to 4:03.

Best of luck and I can't wait for an update!

Btw, it looks like you are using Reason. If you want, PM me and maybe I can give you a more hands-on advice.