[OMGitslewis]

So I have been fiddling round with this for a while now. Got a bit of writers block so I decided to post it and get some feedback from you guys

The track is Route One for the 2nd gen Pokemon games.

ORIGINAL

• Youtube Link.

REMIX

• Mk. I
  Mk. II
  Mk. III
  Mk. IV

Thank you for reading and do feel free to comment,

[mikeastarb]

It was really nice to listen to! There should be more!! 1:44 is just too short. The part at 0:18 gives you a really nice backing track. I also like what you did with the part from 0:00 to 0:18; it's a good introduction to the sound and feel of the track. I think it would do good though to throw some more of the source melody (with some variations of course) in though because, for a while, I wasn't sure if I had the right link or not. I'm excited to hear what gets posted next!

[PixelPanic]

I agree with Mike all the way, and also you may want to lower the reverb and lower your pads/pianos. The song sounded like it just started, I want more! :D

[OMGitslewis]

Originally Posted by PixelPanic

I agree with Mike all the way, and also you may want to lower the reverb and lower your pads/pianos. The song sounded like it just started, I want more! :D

Noted .
And lower the volume on pads and piano you say?

And yeah, just trying to figure out the arrangement at the minute.
Do you guys think I should try and get the other part of the source file in somehow?, Because I don't think it fits that well unless i find a way. :\

[mikeastarb]

I definitely think you should try to fit it in. It doesn't have to be note for note, or even have the same rhythm though. Between 0:35 and 0:48 (where you have the melody line come in kind of quietly) the song starts to build some energy. At 0:48 there's an opportunity to transition the chords to something new/different where you could fit a new phrase that has the other part of the melody in it.

I've been in your position before where I've written something but it's short, and I feel like things just won't fit into what I already have. What happened with my song was that I got used to how the unfinished song sounded and because of that, anything I did to it sounded "wrong". To fix that, I had to force myself to change it and keep that change (even though I didn't like it). Eventually after to listening to it a bunch, that change became normal to me and it didn't seem so wrong anymore. It wasn't the best thing ever but, instead of thinking "This doesn't fit, it shouldn't be there", it turned into thinking "Ok, the song goes this way but, I could tweak [X], and do [Y], and move [Z] and it will sound better".

[OMGitslewis]

MK II
https://soundcloud.com/little_bit/that-one-route-mk-ii

Sounding quite rough at the moment but I really want to try and get the arrangement down first so the mix is really quite muddy imo at the moment.

Still think its rather short. And please do tell me what you think about the intro haha.

[mikeastarb]

I like the intro! It does a lot to set the mood and I think it's a really nice touch. I would take out the music from it though and keep it with just the voices and swirling air. Something about the town music is just a little too... energetic for the rest of the track, if that makes sense. I really like the new instrument at 0:53, its the little things that make a track. Also, way to go on fitting in the melody! That's such a good addition and you did it perfectly. It's still a little short but, you've got so much more content now than you did originally.

Now, what I'm left craving is just a little more variety. At 1:40 I think you have a lot of room to work, tinker, and create. You've got the melody (and source) fresh in someones mind. Now cut it, fold it, tear it, and glue it back together and show us just how much better it can be from the original! I know you've got the skill set to do it so, don't be afraid!

I'm really impressed to see so much change from version 1 to version 2 and it makes me even more excited to see what comes next. Also, just to comment again, I really like the idea of the intro.

[evory]

I have to say I love the piano track The instrument that comes in at 0:53 though seems to clash a little with the piano register, although the melodic idea is nice.

I felt that once the Route 1 melody came in in its entirety you could have done a little more to push the mix just that last step up, for example the B in the bass at 1:35, I was hoping for a more gratifying harmony based on the tonic, right now it just feels like there's something missing. Trying for less of a countermelody than a harmonic anchor is what I'd suggest, and maybe the strings could maybe come out a little more.

The last bit (before the footsteps) sounds really nice though, I really like the chord sequence you've got there, and the instrument at 2:45 is absolutely perfect.

I'm a little split on the opening/ending though, I'm fine with the beginning, but the ending is a little too disjointed from the overall mood of the piece.

[electric concerto]

Production aside, this is a very well done arrangement. Only complaint I have is the bass in some places is compositionally off, like bad notes (1:26). Other than that, I can't wait to hear how this comes out!

[OMGitslewis]

Originally Posted by electric concerto

Production aside, this is a very well done arrangement. Only complaint I have is the bass in some places is compositionally off, like bad notes (1:26). Other than that, I can't wait to hear how this comes out!

Yeah, I am having a bit of difficulty with the bass at the moment, just can't quite find the right bass line to fit the melody, I will keep playing around with it and see what I can create .

Originally Posted by evory

I felt that once the Route 1 melody came in in its entirety you could have done a little more to push the mix just that last step up, for example the B in the bass at 1:35, I was hoping for a more gratifying harmony based on the tonic, right now it just feels like there's something missing. Trying for less of a countermelody than a harmonic anchor is what I'd suggest, and maybe the strings could maybe come out a little more.

I'm a little split on the opening/ending though, I'm fine with the beginning, but the ending is a little too disjointed from the overall mood of the piece.

So bass to be improved it seems.
Think I may remove the end then, I was also thinking to myself the wind gives it a rather dark sound, whereas the song is quite chirpy. I may change the wind sample to a more happier sound.

Originally Posted by mikeastarb

Now, what I'm left craving is just a little more variety. At 1:40 I think you have a lot of room to work, tinker, and create. You've got the melody (and source) fresh in someones mind. Now cut it, fold it, tear it, and glue it back together and show us just how much better it can be from the original! I know you've got the skill set to do it so, don't be afraid!

I shall start adding to it now then I guess haha, might make it a little longer as well .
And with the intro I was going for the style that whenever you leave an area in Pokemon the last areas sound fades out and the new one begins. But if it doesn't fit in with the song I;ve made I shall take it out .

Think this sums up most things then, and thanks a lot for all the feedback guys! I shall begin MK. III sometime tonight!