[awesomeman500]

So something I created weeks ago:
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/194245

[hewhoisiam]

MP3 this, rather then newgrounds. I haven't been around for a while, so let me see if I remember how this works...

The Good
I like the very simple intro, even if it does run a little long for my taste.

Organ and long sounds + bells give a nice feel to this song.

The Bad
It sounds a lot like the source. (problems I'm having with what I'm doing now >.>)

Drums are very same-ie, not much variation and the hi-hat is stale. Kick is very quiet.

Too much repetition that is too close to source.

Suggestions
This seems to me to want that majestic church bells/organ sort of sound, but right now, it's too simple for its own good. 16th note hi-hats doesn't fit into that genre well imo. (think trans Siberian orchestra http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY1otyfwu1o ) The nature of your bass sounds makes them seem to drag. If you stick with 16th notes, pulse the bass to at least quarter notes. Both is not working out so well methinks.

As far as the song flowing, it does okay, but it never breaks away from the original too much. For this to mix and sound good, take the parts you like from the song and expand on them, or change them to make them unique.

There's a lot of good ideas here, a good place to start. Kick up the temp and fix the drums and you can have a nice fast fun thing werkn. Expand on that low organ church bell sound and you can have a slower powerful track. Good stuff.

Hope this helps
-He

[Skrypnyk]

The bell sample is rather nice.

...and that's really all the good I can say.

You're drums are really bland, boring, stale and repetitive. The kick gets lost with the bassline playing, the hats sound generic and have that machine gun sound to them.

The overall arrangement doesn't develop into anything. It just repeats the same melody/pattern with different instruments filling in for each other. There's nothing to really keep the listener entertained for more then 40 seconds.

With mixing, the bass end is really muddy. I don't think you panned anything so there's a lack of room and depth. You have different instrument masking each other. Learn about filters. EQs are your friend.

I'd start on something new and fresh, and learn about fxs along the way.