[pokemoneinstein]

Originally Posted by Flexstyle

2:00 with the unison lead—it’s a bit buried, and you could probably stand to maybe even bring it up an octave. As of right now, it’s just kinda muddy. I would also mention that it feels almost “forced,” melodically, in that it doesn’t quite fit with the source or the remix—almost as a slightly random mish-mash of notes strung together. I’m sure that wasn’t the intent, and I’m certainly not accusing you of doing such a thing, but I am saying that’s what it kinda sounds like.

I brought it up an octave, and I think it helped. This bridge, though, is based on the bridge from the original song. Is it hard to tell that it's form the source? I could make the notes a little more similar to the original of you think I should. And thanks for the tip about the piano solo, by the way.

Originally Posted by Flexstyle

All that said, it IS an enjoyable mix. I think the little voice clips are well-placed and tasteful, adding a nice little bit of fun to an already cheery track. It's a joyous and playful song, and the overall arrangement is, I think, quite nice. Please don’t hear me tearing everything apart in a malicious manner. I'm just pretty certain that it's not going to pass the panel as it stands right now with all those production elements (some of which are a direct result of the arrangement) missing.

Oh, please, I want to make it onto the site. You were quite kind in what you said, and I very much appreciate that. Thank you. Though even when someone does tear my work apart, as long as it’s constructive, all I feel towards them is gratitude. Sometimes I get a bit disheartened on top of it, but I know that people often aren’t critical for the sake of making someone feel bad, but rather for the sake of making someone get better.

[Rozovian]

So, I was asked to basically pretend to be a mod reviewing this. K. Thanks Gario. :P

Sweet intro, piano is a little dry, bass drum really heavy, wind lead quite far back in the mix. That's my impressions from the very start of the mix. Both leads (wind thing and reso synth) could be brought out some more, not necessarily louder, but a subtle eq boost to whatever frequency they're the brightest in and some subtle eq carving in the other tracks to make room for it would bring it out nicely. Subtle, tho.

The voice clips - which I usually, subjectively hate (objective hate, what?) - work ok here; they're not overly prominent, and they fit well into the style. The whole track is actually quite reminiscent of this track (http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR00868/), which was one of my early favorites from ocr.

The bass is too strong. On my regular low-level listening, it's more than strong enough. There's some times where the compression becomes painfully obvious and the track breaks free to breathe. 1:29 and 1:35 are two such instances, but the irregular (I take it it's a shot at humanizing) bass levels make the output compression work a bit too hard. The bass, kick, and snare interact in a way where the bass drum is a lot weaker over snare hits. That's be fine if it was consistent, but the bass and bass drum keep disappearing on some hits. Softening the lows a tiny bit could yield you more pleasant dynamics without really losing any of the weight in the kick and bass. There are times, like at 1:56 where I can hear the intention behind the changing bass drum velocity, but at a lot of other times it just seems random. Check to see if you have any effects on the bass that could explain its wavering in and out of prominence so irregularly (the note pitch and eq also affects it, so a multiband compressor might be better than a regular eq on a bassline spanning a range as wide as this one). But again, dropping their levels a little (or compressing the individual tracks further without boosting their levels thereafter) should solve a lot of your problems.

The first lead melody from the main source is easily detected, the second doesn't modulate as it does in the source (nor does the chords anyway), but it's there. Most of the track is built on the chord ostinato from the source. I'm gonna refrain from learning 5 mostly new sources to check for smaller source references and bits; a list of included parts and where they're used would help. The judges sometimes request this, and I reckon including such a list would make reviewing/judging a lot faster and easier, especially when dealing with 6 sources. ;)

Arrangement is, imo, good enough. It's conservative, but varied and with obvious differences in style and chord structure. And then there's those alleged additional sources. :P It also flows well.

-

This is getting long, I gotta learn to write shorter. Going by the old checklist, I end up with four issues that kind'a apply.

PRODUCTION
- Too loud - the low stuff
- Unrealistic sequencing - randomization instead of humanization
- Overcompressed (pumping/no dynamics) - not terrible but enough to be noticed when the compression eases up
- Mixing is muddy (eg. too many sounds in the same range) - leads could be more clear

A few minor edits to eq, drums, and bass, and I'd say it's finished.

addendum: Reading Flex' mod review, I'd say you've fixed the melody issues. Nothing stands out as awkward, random, or otherwise ill-fitting.

[Swifthom]

Just thought i'd add two cents; you put on original post you weren't sure which lead instrument for end you prefered. For me it's definitely version 7.2. This is a joyous song, that ending seems happier and more upbeat. Also by upping the octive it makes the song seem like it is approaching the natural end, as opposed to the sudden 'oh we're done' clomp in version 7.1.

Hope with the suggestions you've been given this makes it; it's been great watching the ammount of effort you've piled into this and that deserves applause.

[AngelCityOutlaw]

Damn, I gotta say...You have some serious dedication to this tune! Respect.

[pokemoneinstein]

Yeah, the funny thing is that I don't care as much about getting accepted as an artist. I care about Mario and Luigi music getting some OCR-accepted remixes XD

Thanks everybody for the comments, etc, and especially to you, Rozo. I'll fix some stuff up and submit it when I can!

[Ragnarock]

Originally Posted by pokemoneinstein

Yeah, the funny thing is that I don't care as much about getting accepted as an artist. I care about Mario and Luigi music getting some OCR-accepted remixes XD

Thanks everybody for the comments, etc, and especially to you, Rozo. I'll fix some stuff up and submit it when I can!

I can respect that. Good luck! WHEN this song is accepted, I'll be one the first to download it.

[pokemoneinstein]

Well, I don't know if it will be. Fingers crossed! Thanks for the confidence nonetheless

[jordanrooben]

Good Luck! I really hope this will get accepted. It's really awesome, and your dedication to the song is inspirational. I can't imagine it never getting submitted(seems like you would keep trying if it a got a No resub), but even if that happens, I'll keep listening to this track either way. Thanks!

[pokemoneinstein]

Thank you Jordanrooben, and everyone else for that matter, for the support! In any case, i've updated the first post with the YouTube link if it interests anybody.

[Chimpazilla]

Wow I like that a lot, good luck!