[pokemoneinstein]

This is so conservative that it'd be crazy to try and submit it, but much like dummeh, I'm looking for critiques to improve myself. I already added a semi-original glockenspiel bridge and various countermelodies and more. The one thing I do recognize needs changing is the short introduction, but I'm not sure as to what to make it sounds like. I'd like to keep the small feeling of the piece as a whole. But again, any and all critiques are much appreciated. (The ending cut off while I was bouncing it. It's supposed to fade, ignore the abrupt stop)

Original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuUROg3ryX8
Remix: https://www.box.com/s/f414a156856ee8ddd7f8

[Chimpazilla]

Wow Pokie, this is lovely! Really nice instrumentation. The only thing I hear that isn't perfect is that flute, when it leads it is too thick somehow, have you doubled it with something? Or just multiple flutes? It sounds unnaturally full. I cannot criticize any other thing! You are using EWQLSO if I recall.

It's a shame it is such a cover. Why not do some interpretation, starting with the second iteration of the main melody, the one played by the horn at 0:25? Shouldn't be that hard, it could be as simple as reversing the note progression. Then at 1:02, where you have harmony, write something unique! Change the chord progression and melody, just for a few bars. (come on, you can do it!) Then the flute could play the main melody again, or change it up slightly. I think you could do a lot here with several slight variations and maybe one big variation.

Nice work, I enjoyed it!

[Eradicate]

Hello pokemoneinstein!

I haven't been involved in this site in a long time, but I want to try and get back into it. It's great getting to hear a pleasant little song like this.

As chimpazilla said, this is still more of a cover. The instruments and tone all sound just fine to me, especially given the character of the piece. It would be fun to hear it taken in some different directions though.

Are you familiar with Robert Farnon? He is a great little composer of lighter orchestra music. Here's a couple of links to some of his works on Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdSQ8...feature=relmfu - "Little Miss Molly"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mBhp...feature=relmfu - "Bird Charmer"

I'm not bringing Farnon up so much for imitation purposes, but just to hear some ideas and connect them to what you have. For instance, Farnon puts a lot of importance on the melody, and his melodies dance around and are prominent. He also uses rhythm well too, usually having something underneath it all doing the primary "beat" with strings or something gliding chords over it. (You can hear this easiest with "Little Miss Molly.") Farnon is a great example of "filling out" a song with an orchestra and keeping it very light, which is something you said you wanted to do.

Adapting this to your song, you have a "beat" in place with those basses. As far as the other strings I hear, they are primarily doing a rhythm too with those eighth notes. Maybe use them to do some things with chords, making them glide about and hold "something" for the melody on top to dance on top of. You switch the melody around between different instruments, but it is mainly as a sort of round. I think keeping it primarily one instrument (for me, I'd like either the flute or the glockenspiel) and expanding on that for a longer period of time before bringing other instruments on board with the melody too soon. Think of it like the vocals in a song; let one instrument serve as the "verse," and do fun things with the other leads you have for the "chorus" for a shorter period of time to break it up.

I hope this helps! I think the mixing is pretty darn good and the samples used all sound just fine for me! The instrumentation all seems great also! Chimpazilla had some nice suggestions too as far as what you can do to change it up a little bit. As far as the introduction goes, it just seems too "quick." I'd either repeat it and change it a little to lead more into the main melody of the song, or do it twice, but the first time just make it the glockenspiel and bring in the rest of the instruments the second time. That is all assuming you want to keep the introduction!

Anyways, great job pokemoneinstein! I hope any of this helps!

[Calum]

Thank you eradicate for introducing me to some great music!
Yes, this is definitely a great direction to go for this toad remix. I agree with chimp that the lead flute sounds like you're using 3 flutes or something and would benefit from being a solo flute.
Definitely play around with different tempi as farnon does - keep it cheeky, keep it fun. It also feels very loopy right now - with that accompaniment literaly looping. If you don't want to change any of the harmony or spacing, at least consider changing the instrumentation around a little bit. As far as your own interpretation goes it could definitely do with some harmonic change. It stays based around F for basically the WHOOOLE PIECE. It actually comes of more like a piece of minimalism by the end! You could add a new section using a jazz chord progression or circle of fifths or anything really. Just get away from that F at some point! OR turn this into super minimalism.

Great start though!

[imazi643]

I'm just popping in here to add that the glockenspiel's reverb is really high, and the dissonance is quite annoying.

[Beldegren0x]

Sounding great so far! I think the tweaks mentioned would make it brilliant, but I can't think of anything else to change/improve.