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Old 03-25-2007, 12:57 AM
Liontamer's Avatar
Liontamer Liontamer is offline
Larry Oji, Community Manager, Super Moderator, Judge, Dirge for the Follin Director
Sheng Long (+10000)
OC ReMix Artist Profile
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Atlanta, GA
*NO* Super Mario Bros. 3 'Bowser Battle'

Contact Info

* ReMixer name: billysk8r
* real name: Billy Lee
* email address: billysk8r@socal.rr.com
* website: http://www.myspace.com/billyleet
* userid: 20046

ReMix Info
* Name of game(s) ReMixed: Super Mario Bros. 3
* Name of individual song(s) ReMixed: Bowser
* Your own comments about the mix: I wanted to see if I could make this repetive smb3 song listenable for an extended period of time.

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http://www.zophar.net/nsf/smb3.zip - Track 24

Started out pretty hot, making me wonder what direction it was gonna go in, but that bland electrosynth at :16 started killing things off, followed that that lead at :31.

You have some good (albeit basic) countermelodic stuff going on that could stand to be fleshed out further. The beatwork is decent (albeit basic, again), but you need to flesh out the background more; what's here is too sparse.

The arrangement got more interpretive from 1:56-on with some cool freestylish stuff. Could have used more of that earlier, but that's neither here nor there; the important thing was that it was at least present in some form. Track ended in a completely abrupt manner and didn't resolve nicely at all.

I can't stress enough how much in the right direction you're in for a new submitter. You have all the right basic ideas in place, in terms of varying the instrumentation, creating dynamics, adding grace notes and original sections, and otherwise personalizing the arrangement.

At only 2:20 long, the arrangement really needs to be developed further. You need more sophisticated textures and some more melodic interpretation for the first few minutes, but this was nice for a first sub, Billy. Definitely don't be discouraged. Even if you can't get this to pass with a resubmission, you should stick around the community and use the resources here to learn more about ReMixing and improve your game.

NO

Last edited by Liontamer; 05-16-2007 at 03:51 AM. Reason: closed decision
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  #2  
Old 05-15-2007, 04:46 AM
Jillian Aversa's Avatar
Jillian Aversa Jillian Aversa is offline
Simon Belmont (+2500)
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Baltimore, MD
Larry summed it up well here. You honestly have all the right ideas with your leads in this remix - it just feels like the skeleton of what you intended. All you really have to do, in my opinion, is fill everything out with more backing instruments and further develop your ideas. As of now, there isn't really an ending at all; it just sort of cuts off. Production seems fine, but try to stay vigilant as you layer in new things. Hope to hear an update soon!

NO PLEASE RESUBMIT
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  #3  
Old 05-16-2007, 03:47 AM
big giant circles's Avatar
big giant circles big giant circles is offline
Jimmy Hinson
Bonus-Kun (+3000)
OC ReMix Artist Profile
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Knoxville, TN
Indeed, cool ideas going on, but this feels more like a sketch draft than a final product. It's way too dry. I immediately recognized the opening loop as one from the FL "Drumloops" folder - DL_Modring, specifically. Let me offer advice that while I won't ever directly tell someone to completely avoid those loops (I've used them on occasion) it's a good idea to use them as a last resort.

The portamento saw lead was really boring. Definitely could have used a cooler lead. This track really has some potential, but you need to get a feel for some tactful complexity. As it is, I can tell you've got the hang of certain techniques in FL, but you've got to select your instrumental palette a little better. And try to keep the ball rolling for a little longer than 2:20.

Not a bad sub in terms of potential, but this has got to evolve into something a little with a little more grandeur and put off a little more "WOW" to the listener first. Keep it up Billy. Play around with this one a little longer. Tweak what you've got, and expand on it something fierce. Then, feel free to bring this on back and give it another shot on the panel here.

NO
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