ReMix: Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls "the final WON"

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Final Fantasy II: RebellionFinal Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls

When Salt-N-Pepa sang "you so crazy / I think I wanna have your baby" in "Whatta Man," I'm fairly sure they were talking about Sir Jordanius. At least the crazy part. While the absence of sanity is probably not the best attribute to seek out in a reproductive partner, Sir J. earns his honorific address with truly regal levels of musical creativity that pretty much defy rational explanation. Truth be told, in this regard he should probably be a duke, earl, or even a king, but then we'd just resent him. What genre is this mix? What's even going on? The answer to both questions is the punchline to Tom Hanks' knock-knock joke in Catch Me If You Can, basically. Darth Strader writes:

"The man, the myth, the one-who-cannot-be-named, I'll just call him Jordan. He truly is the Voldemort of music, but he's also the Harry Potter; two halfs of the same soul that produce some truly amazing remix-based horcruxes. That is to say, he puts a small portion of his soul into every remix, and you can tell. Give this one two listens, three, keep going until you can finally understand the complexity of this mix. Then do what I did and weep at your own inadequacy. Then weep some more from the beauty of this song."

And now, in their unadulterated form, Sir J.'s own comments on this... creation:

"Hey, Sir J here. AKA W!SE the all.E, AKA The Realest Green Lantern, AKA Heir to the Bill Gates Dynasty, AKA a bunch of other names.

This track is admittedly a Katamari-clusterfuck-flavored jambalaya mixing of many ideas. To explain it as simply as possible without going into my usual long-winded novels, on Brandon Strader's FF1 album, Random Encounter, I made an arrangement of the "Victory" fanfare entitled "Epic Win" in which I did some kind of barbershop dubstep quartet/wannabe-Tim Exile kind of thing thinking it was revolutionary and innovative and hot shit and all that jazz. I know I'm usually my harshest critic, but, truthfully speaking, after the album went live I realized I had made a terrible mistake because that remix just sounded... embarrassingly cheesy and lame and anything but "Epic." XD

So, I PM'd Professor Strader asking him to let me hold on to the "Victory" fanfare source tune for the rest of the album series in order for me to avenge myself and make amends for that lackluster remix, so to speak. The "Victory" fanfare is a notably simple source with only a few variations with each FF title, but Brandon gave me ample wiggle room and creative freedom to run the train off the rails and into any dimensions that I wanted.

Therefore, I essentially cranked out "Victory" ReMix after ReMix, seeing how far I could take the source. I love the final order that the album is in, but ideally for anyone interested in trying to make sense from my perspective, I've deliberately arranged the different "WINs" to kind of go in some kind of "Sir J canon" order with the hopes that *this* particular arrangement would be the conclusion (hence the title, "the final WON.")

((**Spoiler Alert: I ended up recording a few more arrangements after this one which may or may not appear on a future FF album. ;P))

So "the final WON" is obviously grandiose and incredibly over-the-top because it is a nod to the previous genre variations I traversed through. Something along these lines is what my head-canon producer process was like:

1. "Epic Win" (what started it all)
2. "garLACTUS Win"
3. "GG but ____ Solos Win"
4. **SPOILER possible-future track**
5. **SPOILER possible-future track**
6. "the final WON"

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut, I do like how Brandon chose to use these particular WINs for this album and save the others possibly for the future one since they're kind of like an "epilogue" to my WIN series, so WIN #4 and #5 can be enjoyed as a babies-ever-after kind of thing, I guess.

TL;DR

-Suffered creator backlash/old shame from my first "Victory" fanfare arrangement, "Epic WIN"
-Decided to make several more new versions in an attempt to "avenge/redeem" myself
-Imagined and created this version, "the final WON," as a closer for the whole shebang"

In ye olden days, this is the type of music that would have confused & induced "BURN IT WITH FIRE!!" responses in pious purists. As civilization has evolved and plurality & tolerance have moved from being polite inconveniences to actual values, I'm hoping the people are prepared - mentally, physically, & emotionally - for "the final WON" to win them over with its profound disregard for normalcy. Some of you are old enough to remember the "Congratulations, You Won!" guy from those annoying talking banner ads... perhaps he still haunts your nightmares, offering unsolicited props for your unearned & unclear personal triumphs. If he doesn't, J.'s gonna fix that GOOD, as this mangled catchphrase is the reanimated corpse that has been galvanized into life & drafted into posthumous service on the front lines of this arrangement. Let's just run the checklist, shall we?

  1. Accelerating spoken-word snare-accentuated introduction that reminds me of the scary bits in the one-and-true Wonka film where Gene Wilder goes batshit in the tunnel? CHECK.
  2. Bit-crushed invitation to death? CHECK.
  3. Drum-line snare build with fanfare brass into sick dub/jazz/funk-step with chip breaks, formant vocalization, trumpet riffs, backing ahh vocal lines, accordions, & (probably) the kitchen sink? CHECK.
  4. Now he's just showing off... CHECK.

Glorious & final, in every sense of both words. Sir Jordanius... is insanius.

djpretzel

Discussion: Latest 9 comments/reviews; view the complete thread or post your own.
Chernabogue
on 2015-12-08 15:39:08

This is completely crazy and I love it. Sir J's remixes are always very detailed and excellently produced. As the above poster said, there are some moments that made me think of Inspector Gadget LOL What else is there to say? This is a great remix. :)

Crono3of3time
on 2015-06-25 19:04:42

Hrmm... I can't listen to this without thinking "Inspector Gadget". Hahaha.

Crulex
on 2015-06-23 12:13:18

This is somehow melodic and psychotic as all hell all at the same time. And I love every bit of it. Sir J, you are a crazy, brilliant mixer. So good, I love this.

Necrox
on 2015-06-11 22:45:11

Epic Win, lackluster? Whatever, this track is not of this Earth and reminds me that "joke" stuff can actually be really good and musical and stuff

DimeTower
on 2015-06-10 01:07:53

What just happened to me?!? Oh my heavens. Even those who can't handle total crazy - and trust me, my eyebrows almost raised off my head at the first 30 seconds - need to listen to 1:00 through 2:30 AT MINIMUM, particularly the breakdowns starting around 2:00 - these are some really talented interpretations of the source. Of course, the piece, as a whole, is completely dunked in a frying vat of insanity, but even that can't totally hide the talent underneath. I'm not sure I can recommend this - but man, you should at least give it a try.

Hayeser
on 2015-06-09 14:40:58

I must now reassemble my face, as it just melted off.

timaeus222
on 2015-06-09 13:32:17

Listen if you like dog squeeze toys or rubber duckies. (Who doesn't?)

Black_Doom
on 2015-06-08 14:28:21

This is a true Jordanius mix - a lot of crazy shit is going on. And I love this!

Liontamer
on 2015-06-08 03:06:00

What did you think? Post your opinion of this ReMix.