I agree with you here. Reeling that melody back in!
I took the opportunity to listen to your song "Starless Night." That guitar is brutal man, I love it!
Only problem I see is I feel the bass isn't coming through enough. Otherwise it's pretty sick.
Maybe add some weird ass keyboard solo's dreamtheater style
Yea I'm pretty new to anything outside of stock fruity loops samples. I recently found a soundfont with a buttload of "okay" sounds, which are the ones you hear in the song. One day I'll invest in some really sweet samples and sounds!
About your song....
I found myself hitting replay!
I dig the vocal clipping melody thing. So catchy!
I do agree with dreambliss's sentiments about the bass. The bass is weak and with house music you really want it to pull through the mix.
But man, your kick is weak! Compress the f**k out of your kick haha, the only percussion I can really feel are the hats! Your snare/clap sounds really distant, albeit that might be what you're intending.
Here's a DnB Jam I made: http://soundcloud.com/citron/bazaar
Edit: To make this response even longer....
Damn I need some new sound banks lol. Impressive composition here. It lacks direction in my opinion, but as you said there's no purpose so we can't really use that as an accurate criticism.
I REALLY want to turn the first half of your track into a kickin house beat haha