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"National Newspaper" to pay for video game violence stories (true or otherwise)

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A real quote from a real person form reality.

Yeah so before Super Mario Bros. I had never thought of turtles and mushrooms as evil. Now after five minutes on with the game I have got this uncontrollable desire to crush their shells. Don`t even get me started on Megaman, lets just say Its a lot harder to get their power than they make it out in the games. And the cat is still pissed after I played pokemon.

A real quote. really.

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I know only eat animals that can be put inside of red and white balls. Blending them into a paste or goo still counts, of course.

When you cook them inside the ball, it's like a boiled egg, but meatier.

Wait, are they asking for violence against living things or against good cooking? 'Cause my story could go either way.

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The conflict between Final Fantasy IV's Kain and Cecil influence me to kill my best friend because he was dating a girl I had a crush on.

Fire Emblem 4: The Genelogy of the Holy War also influence me to pratice incest, kill my brother, kill my father, bring birth to twins, one a girl who's has memory promblems, and another, a boy who's the most evil bastard in the world.

Man, the thing the jaded, anti video games media will do get a story on gaming and the "negetive effects".

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Sometimes I want to headbutt people like they do on Double Dragon. I won't die satisfied until I've headbutted someone until their nose fucking explodes. I also want to stomp someone's crotch while wearing cleated shoes.

My biggest fantasy, that I will one day act out in real life due to playing too many games, is to hit someone in the Adam's Apple with a spiked iron mace, preferably using all the torque my body can produce.


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