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Is Malaise and Detachment Normal during Composition?


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Maybe you're putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on your shoulders.

It's not healthy to try and compare to Uematsu & co., cause they're in a whole different world all together.

Plus, amassing loads of technical information won't necessarily make you evolve faster.

And knowing all there is to know about musical theory won't necessarily make you a more accomplished musician.

I'm having a hard time figuring what your goal is exactly. Just getting things done, or trying to reach perfection?

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I know, if just doesn't seem like I'm learning as fast I want to. I can't grasp all the known science behind it so that "This does this... that does that." and always when I go back and do it again, its different and borderline wrong.

Here is a story... sorry:

I'm 27. When I was 20 on 9-10-2001 I went a gave ALL of my info to a NAVY recruiter. I got landed in the submarine fleet with a sonar technician billet. I got to the fleet before I finished school (for sonar) I had to learn my job on my feet. You think learning how sound propagates in the air is tricky... imagine trying to account salinity, density, temperature, terrain, bedding etc. I learned my job by doing my job, no room for error; in fact the watch station they had me tending was called safety of ship! I finished my tour, then wound up teaching acoustic theory at my school for sonar. I finished the NAVY and came home to SD Cali. Then went to Hollywood to go to Audio Engineering school (more for studio engineers). Worked for the technical institute that taught me for a bit, worked for NBC, Universal, WGM, and more indi artists than one should report. So I'll make the boast that I know a lot- not everything but a lot.

I still am learning how synthesis works with all the layers and oscillators and what not. I'm still learning every-new-damn-DAW with their upgrades and new hot-keys. Newer better consoles are out every day and the gear... whoo! don't get me started on the gear! or the plugs!

I guess my point is I don't know shit, but I know a lot. Don't try and learn everything cause you will wind up with nothing achieved. There is too much in the world today to be a Grand Maester of Everything. Learn the specifics of the something you're interested in and then move onto the next thing. Not everything in audio is relavent to everything you do, learning about RT60 hasn't made me better with using reverbs.

Relax and take a vaction from audio; remember why you love it or find out why you love it.

Tech is dry, try to find some analogistical way of looking at it. Learn with analogy.

I dunno, trying to help.

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So this level of control and virtual perfection does not exist and I'm doing ok anyway?

I'm in grad school for music composition with an undergraduate degree that included a fair amount of studio work, and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing much of the time. I'm beginning to realize that the most objective way to figure out how "good" something sounds is to leave it alone for two or three years and then come back to it. I tend to find when I revisit old material that the things that seemed to be insurmountable problems at the time hardly matter to me now, that the real deficiencies lie in things that hadn't even occurred to me at the time, and that some of the strengths are also things whose significance I wasn't aware of at the time.

Off the top of my head, I can think of three relatively high-profile composers who eventually destroyed most or all of their early work: Augusta Read Thomas, Alan Hovhaness, and Paul Dukas. It leads me to believe that the experience of profound disconnect with one's own work is not at all uncommon, even among the most talented.

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So this level of control and virtual perfection does not exist and I'm doing ok anyway?

Yes.

Another Example:

I posted a WIP for some MP 3 corruption remix. It was the first pass. It was crap! It still made #3 in the charts! People will buy and want shit, as long as it is cool shit! I've made 1 update since then (today) so we'll see. :roll:

And...

Moseph is right.

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