My first song with vocals

[Silent Ice]

I've been makin music for a while now and I just got into putting lyrics into my songs and this is the first song I've ever made with lyrics in it so plz don't be too harsh...

http://soundcloud.com/silent-ice/our-forsaken-fate

[Modus]

I've never heard a song quite like that. Very interesting.

It feels a bit too staccato for me, and it feels like it needs some swing. It's hard to judge the vocals because they're so heavily filtered, but it sounded pretty cool to me. The vocal arrangement wasn't too ambitious, but I think you accomplished what you were trying to do.

After listening a second time, it's still enjoyable to me. Not bad work in my opinion, but I'm still in newb territory. Someone experienced will come along here soon to give you more feedback I'm sure. In any case, keep making music! I look forward to seeing more of you around :]

[Silent Ice]

Yay for originality!

Yeah I never got around to fixing that second verse because I already spent so much time on it, finished it, exported it to mp3, put it up on soundcloud, then listened to it...I was just too lazy to do it over haha

and I understand what you mean by staccato but whaddya mean by more swing?

yeah haha it's so heavily filtered because I have a horrible singing voice.

Yeah I feel I accomplished what I was trying to do...I made those lyrics in about 15min and I didn't want too much singing...I think it's a nice balance for my first vocal song.

and Thank you I hope to be around for a while =]

[Modus]

Swing is that little bit of hesitation between notes. If you're using FL, there should be a little bar in the upper right of your samples window that you can slide to the right for swing.

Funny little aside... the first time I tried vocals, I also heavily filtered it, though not to this degree. That song has long been buried though Anyway, that's all I got.. well, you've got some clashing notes at 3:15. And now that's all I got! Hopefully I gave you good advice.

[SavageLand]

That is a pretty sweet track actually, I like the vocoder effects.

[Gimgak]

This is a pretty interesting track. The vocal effects you got going are pretty cool, but they may be a bit too heavy. I would try and clean up the vocal tracks a little bit so that it's a little easier to understand them, cause I can't make out the lyrics that well. Some cool synth stuff. I would bring out the instrumental stuff more.