Let's Play! Metal Gear Solid: Pokeable Ops

[The Damned]

And if not for my meddling dog, you might have gotten away with it, too.

Oh god, there's a butch pirate now. Did they buy a pirate costume factory or something?

Oh my god, after Cyrus in DPPt, Archie must be one of the talkiest villains in the series. He talked for a dozen screens, and didn't say anything even remotely important. I hate Archie now. Too bad about his friend, Jughead. I heard what happened to him in Vietnam. Such a tragedy...

Neither rain, nor sleet, no smelly hippies nor pirates... You can use that for the post office you don't have.

Don't bother going, I can tell you what's down there. More water!

And just like the midnight wind, he was gone...

Once their leader took off, the rest of the pirates went with him. The museum still reeks of stale pretzels and Doctor Pepper, though.

Now that Stern has his package, I can carry on with my mission. Only a few more towns and I should be done with DAD's ridiculous request.

[The Damned]

Oh god, bad news.

I accidentally lost my save game. Everything up to the last post is gone.

Even the back-up I have in another directory is gone.

Thank you, Windows 7, for deciding to do whatever it is that you did that wiped out my Let's Play directories.

I can redo it, but it will take some time. I'll have to recapture the team and retrace the game so far. It's going to take at least a day.

[Kenogu Labz]

Weird. Did you accidentally drag them into a different directory?

[The Damned]

I honestly don't know. I had to get the ROM and the emulator again, and now I'm going through the game with 500% speed to try and get to where I was. So far, most of the original team has been remade, but I have to hunt down certain items to get it back to the proper setup.

This will take a good chunk of the night.

[Chernabogue]

Aw, that sucks, man. Hope you won't have any problems re-doing all this!

[The Damned]

Fuck that. I'm just getting back to where I was before the loss, with as close to the original team as I can.

I have to tweak a few things here and there, so obviously there will be some minor stat changes... not that anyone is actually keeping track of that. Also, some of the team gained a few levels, since I went a little overboard on the recreating thing.

[The Damned]

Snake has accomplished another step in his objective: defeat four Gym Leaders and acquire the special Badges. Doing so will give Snake the added assistance of DAD, his local deep-cover help. With the second of his four targets neutralized, he makes his way to the den of sin itself, Slateport. Upon finding his next contact, Captain Stern, and handing an important item over, Snake and Stern are attacked by the local militia, Team Aqua! A quick but decisive battle followed, with Snake victorious. Now, he must make his way North to the next target, the Gym Leader of Mauville.

The Man For The Mission: Snake, international soldier for peace

The Mission For The Man: To stop the creation and shipping of biological weapons known as Pokémon

The Tagline For This Chapter: Overthought and maybe a bit too much like previous ones

Join our hero as he embarks on his most dangerous and exciting mission ever... RIGHT NOW!

It's like all my other bio-weapons have escaped from their computerized holding system. I only have my current group and Covert-Ops, the scariest looking one of these things I've seen yet.

I better make use of his appearance. It could prove to be a tactical advantage.

Even my team seems put-off by his appearance. They seem.. different from before.

When the museum pirates left, they seemed to have taken their c-team with them. Now that the path is clear, I can finally get going towards the next town.

Things this islands needs:

1. Its own postal service

2. proper names for roads

My confusion over the road names causes me to drop my guard. A middle-aged woman walks right up to me before I even notice her.

The locals will use anything as an excuse to battle their bio-weapons.

Ahhh, Plusle... half of the utter failure duo that was introduced in Gen 3. It's weak as hell, has a lackluster movepool, can't stand up to anything decent, and looks stupid. It was supposed to be Gen 3's cute little mascot, like Pikachu was Gen 1 (and the series in general), but it never happened. Totally just box fodder. Catch it to complete your dex and then never bother with it again.

She sends out some sort of stunted rabbit. But looks can, indeed, be deceiving. After a few bites, Stidge is suddenly slowed and unable to move effectively. The little rabbit seems to have done something to her. But Stidge still manages to finish it off.

Meet Minun. Everything I said about Plusle applies to Minun. The only thing significant about the two of them is their abilities, Plus and Minus. When they're in a double battle at together, they boost each others Special Attack by 50%... which might be useful if they didn't still have sucky stats.

Catch, box, ignore.

The woman sends out another rabbit thing, but this one is blue instead of red... not that that matters. Color means nothing when you're being eaten by a dog with giant teeth and a pathological need to chew on other living things.

I decide to use one of the more powerful medical vials to restore Stidge to full fighting power. It not only heals most of her wounds, but also restores her agility.

I've been grooming Reaper for an officer position. He'll make Lieutenant by the end of the year.

An odd sign by a house catches my attention. I suspect that it may be code of some kind... like directions to a location. But I can't decipher it.

Better just walk in and ask.

[The Damned]

It's like there's a voice in my head telling me things I need to know. And I don't mean Otacon, either. He only tells me what to do, like don't open that door, Snake. Don't go in there, Snake, it's a trap, Snake.

Stupid Otacon... where is he, any way?

Something they did in Gen 3 was make use of puzzles where you had to find where a sparkling light flashed for an instant somewhere on the screen. While it wasn't too hard to see where you're supposed to go, if you missed it the first time, you had to either leave the room and re-enter, or just search around until you found it. It could have been anywhere in the room, on or behind any object. Can you see where it is in the right hand picture?

Your feet are sticking out from the other side, and I heard you giggling when I came in. Plus, it smells like you haven't showered in weeks.

Things this island needs:

1. its own postal service

2. proper names for roads

3. more showers for the crazy ones

He explains that he is some comic book villain reject named the Trick Master, and his house is some sort of puzzle. I hate puzzles. If I can't just shoot or punch the solution out of it, then I don't want to deal with it.

He runs behind the poster, giggling like a drugged-up hippy. Hold that thought...

Things this island needs:

1. its own postal service

2. proper names for roads

3. more showers for the crazy ones

4. less hippies

Any way, I decide to follow him. He might have something I can use.

My there is a lot of commentary in this part, isn't there? The Trick Master is an entirely optional side-quest. He will create a new maze with a new puzzle every time you get a new badge, and after you've beaten all of his puzzles, he will give you items as a reward. See here for more details.

But aside from a Rare Candy, and a TM that has no real in-game use, he doesn't really offer anything. If you set up a Secret Base, the last puzzle will get you a Red or Blue Tent to put in your base. So, really, we'll be skipping this guy after this bit.

Those little tree things are all over the place. Luckily, Flapcakes is an expert at cutting them down.

I once spent a month in Canada cutting down trees. It wasn't training or anything. I just really hate Canadian trees.

A scroll? On the floor? That's improper storage of reading material, and a serious violation of barracks keeping. But the moment I go to pick it up and put it away, a young boy asks me for help.

By sending his bio-weapons after me.

Stidge bites it so hard, it can't even move... oh, wait... big dog with teeth, small fuzzy animal that fits in its mouth... oh dear. No wonder it can't move.

The rodent seems to have been saturated with growth hormones, because immediately after Stidge finishes chewing on it, she begins to mutate!

Mightyena is Poochyena's evolved form. It literally doubles all of it stats, except for Attack, which almost doubles. Check it out:

HP: 35 -> 70

Attack: 55 -> 90

Defense: 35 -> 70

Sp.Atk: 30 -> 60

Sp.Def: 30 -> 60

Speed: 35 -> 70

Plus, its ability changed from Run Away to Intimidate, which lowers the opponents attack stat one level upon entering battle. It's like a free Growl when your pokémon enters battle.

I'll send a rescue party after you once I compete my mission. It shouldn't take any more than a few days. In the mean time, try to stay alive. I'd escort you out, but after what happened with that Boy Scout troop back in the states, I'm court-ordered to stay away from all young boys.

Stupid child protection laws... it was only one live round for training purposes... I even had to give up my Scout Leader position.

Oh, you have got to be kidding me...

[The Damned]

A man, like any other. And what is a man, but a miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk! HAVE AT YOU!

Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. All three go down easy.

That's classified information.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Trick Master is completely and totally fabulous in every way, if you get my meaning.

Finally getting out of the maze, I see the Trick Master sitting at a table, waiting for me. I walk over with the intent to sock him right across the face for wasting my time.

His gift of a Rare Candy puts his beating on hold... for now.

I've wasted too much time on this guy and his side show house. Time to hustle.

The old woman looks at me and begins to reach for her bio-weapon containment pods. A quick chop across the side of the neck fixes that.

With no car to drive around in, and the only road in site requiring a bike I don't have, I have to walk to the next town.

I'm adding public transportation to the list...

I spot an item on the ground, but it's just another vial. I was hoping for a grenade or a flamethrower... sigh. Maybe for christmas.

The kid then decides that showing me them would be a good idea. Stidge, however, has other plans for them.

But being cool-headed is.

[The Damned]

After recruitment, proper training and a strict regime of proper exercise and diet will do anyone a lot of good.

It's not long before May shows up. How she got ahead of me, I don't know. She must know short-cuts and have access to places I don't. That, combined with er unknown allegiance, makes her someone to be careful of.

Betrayal! She's here to ambush me and silence me once and for all! You little bitch, I'm not going down without a fight!

Stidge takes down the whale thing like a Japanese fishing ship.

Stidge then tries to take down the giant chicken like a fat man takes down a KFC buffet... but it turns out that giant fire-breathing chickens are actually kind of dangerous. I have to bring Stidge back in.

Reaper takes a hit coming out into the fight, but he quickly recovers and uses his new attack to slam the chicken thing into the ground. Even the weird mushroom creature can't survive the attack.

Hmm... whale, chicken and mushrooms... Some of the ingredients for Japanese cuisine. This may be a clue.

Her attack is not an execution, but an excuse to provide me with a new tool. Just like that time back by her home town, she seems to be fighting me as a pretense to talk to me.

Have I really misjudged her? Or does she just have a really good poker face?

A mine detector! Some places will use mines as part of their security. It keeps spies and soldiers from just walking into their base, and also gives advanced warning of any invading forces.

This mine detector could come in handy.

May offers some token advice and then scampers off.

[The Damned]

Wait a minute... she gives me a mine detector, in a grassy field with only one way in and out.

My god. There are mines here.

Or not. False alarm. Carry on.

They need to get a lawnmower or something down here. This place is just overgrown. Who knows what else is growing in this place?

Adding that one to the list...

Come to think of it, these plants look kind of like a certain popular plant...

A young man in a silly outfit. Standing in the middle of some suspicious plants. And he thinks he can see the future.

Oh, this place is about to become the new spring break hotspot.

Stidge chomps on that thing like a bone.

Finally! A sign that I'm close. I've been on that road for what feels like minutes, and ran into a damn hippy.

No, a bus system would be fair. But don't worry, I've already added it to the list. When I'm done, I'll see about getting someone to take care of these things.

I guess. It's not like I'm ever going to find out. It's not like they're giving bikes away in the next town or anything.

Finally. Mauville. Intel from DAD suggests this is where I should find the next badge he wants.