OCR Mascot Bios - 20 more up for grabs!

[Polo]

Notes for K.K. Slider:

- "he'll show up in town" --> The player's town, right? Just make it clear, because it assumes without explicitly stating that Animal Crossing takes place mainly in a town rather than the world at large.

- "give a free concert to whoever shows up" --> To the concert, right? The end of the sentence sounds ambiguous, like townsfolk could show up in town or in front of K.K. or at some other place. It's less confusing to say something like: "give a free concert for townsfolk to come to."

- You have "show up" twice in the second sentence. If you haven't already done so, change one of them to avoid subtle repetition.

- From what you guys are saying, it seems that asking K.K. to play Free Bird is an overly narrow in-joke that would only make sense if someone tried said action in one of the games and/or it's a well-known meme that's documented in videos or images. But I find no mention of the song or that particular "request" action in any of the sources listed. If the joke/reference doesn't work on its own (an uninitiated reader should automatically get it or be given enough explanation in the article to follow along), then leave it out.

- "and he'll start playing it for you" --> Does this mean the song can be interrupted before it's done? That K.K. can start a song but not finish it sometimes? If he does always finish his songs, try "and he'll play it" instead.

- "provided it's a track from his repertoire" --> This idea feels like it belongs earlier in the sentence, i.e. it should be clear that K.K. has a repertoire of playable songs, out of which the player can select one.

- In the first paragraph, replace instances of "you" with "the player," "the main character," or similar so the bio stays objective rather than palsy and informal.

- "and can only be played by special request" --> "and they can only be played by special request" (clarity)

- "it can be presumed that" --> Try "it's presumed that" so you don't imply that players or Animal Crossing townsfolk have the potential to presume something about K.K. without speaking their thoughts.

- "though it is quite likely that" --> Again, don't make the bio sound like a guessing game at what K.K. may or may not do in his non-music-playing time. You already say little is known about his past; don't go overboard.

- "his library already consists of" --> Cut "already." You're implying the speed at which he gathered a set number of songs matters for some reason.

It's admirable that you're working on this so fast and persistently. Don't burn out now.

[Mirby]

Requesting Free Bird is a joke I'd thought was more well-known than it seems to be around here; it's even referenced in one of the Guitar Hero games's loading screens. Basically it's just a popular song that hecklers and/or jokesters call out at shows when the band is taking requests. Like I said, the song is from the 70s, so I'd figured the joke had been around for some time. Although there's no specific reaction to Free Bird in particular, he does have one to songs he doesn't know, ones not in his setlist. But if no one except myself gets the joke, there's probably no reason to keep it in. I've since rephrased it for clarity; if that doesn't work... :/ why yes i really DO want that joke to stay in the bio, how did you know ;P

I've also broken it up so the paragraphs would have a bit more visual balance. In addition, I'd prefer to keep the line about him probably working on his next big hit; it alludes to the fact that in each new AC game, his setlist expands with new songs. Ergo, in-universe he has to be writing it when he's not playing music. I felt this was a very logical conclusion that was worth referencing in some way.

---

"Those industry fat cats try to put a price on my music, but it wants to be free."

Totakeke, or K.K. Slider as he is more commonly known, is a rather relaxed canine musician who wanders the world of Animal Crossing. Every Saturday night, he'll show up in the player's town, ready to give a free concert for the townsfolk to come to. He doesn't mind playing a random track, but a song can be requested by name from his repertoire and he'll start playing it, no questions asked. He'll even give the player a copy of the song for them to play on their home radio afterwards, free of charge.

However, there are a few songs he keeps secret except to those in the know, and they can only be played by special request. Be warned though; if a request is made for a song that's not in his setlist, he'll play a random background song and say he doesn't know that song. So no matter how many times he's told to play "Free Bird", those requests will be in vain (which they usually are when that specific request is made at a show in real life).

Although very little is known about his past, it's presumed that he has spent quite a bit of time perfecting his art; naturally, he is talented at a variety of musical styles, and can even be seen trading in his trademark guitar for a set of turntables (and some glasses) in Animal Crossing: New Leaf. What he does when he's not on stage playing music isn't known for certain, but he's probably out there somewhere, working on his next big hit. Even though his library consists of several dozen well-loved songs, there's always room in his setlist for one more great jam.

[Polo]

1st paragraph is solid. I don't recommend any changes to it.

2nd paragraph:

- I'm not keen on the paragraph starting with "however." The sentence would work fine without it.

- "there are a few songs he keeps secret except to those in the know" --> "K.K. Slider has a few secret songs in his setlist" (this is to avoid singling out who can and cannot request these songs and to avoid implying that he owns every song ever without the word "setlist" in there)

- "Be warned, though" sounds like you're maintaining the second person "you" in the bio. You can either remove it or substitute it with something like "Additionally" to continue covering the "request" aspect of his musicianship.

- "he'll play a random background song and say he doesn't know that song" --> Is it the background song he claims not to know or the requested song he doesn't know?

- I feel the third sentence (the parenthetical aside at least) only raises more questions, like: Why are requests for Free Bird turned down in real life? Does this have to do with copyrights or something? I'm no expert on popular music and I haven't played a single Animal Crossing game, but I feel a workable solution would be simply to equate the in-game experience of requesting a song to an actual concert's result, via "as a nod to certain real life concerts" or something. (bottom line: remove "Free Bird")

- You have the word "request" appear 4 times in this paragraph. I know it's tricky, but try to avoid repetition wherever you can.

3rd paragraph's just a little bit wordy (a handful of words can be cut to keep the bio more focused), but it's not a dealbreaker.

For now, just focus on sprucing up the 2nd paragraph.

[Mirby]

Here's the thing about the Free Bird joke.

Literally everyone else I've talked to within this community about the joke gets it. They get that it's just to heckle people, they get that the song is anywhere from 9-14 minutes long so it most likely won't be played at a real concert, they get all that. There's also the fact that 9/10 people who get requested to play it won't either because they don't know the song or they don't want to ruin it/think they can't do it justice. Literally the only people who aren't getting it are you and Dafydd. I'm sorry, but I really want that in there because it's funny. In fact, it's pretty much the whole reason I wanted to do this bio (the other part being that I love AC and I like K.K.'s character), so even though you've told me not to burn out, the fact that you don't get the joke and are telling me to remove it (despite talking to multiple people who DO get the joke and think it's funny) is really making me not even want to finish this thing...

Sorry to be brutally honest about it but that's how I feel. There actually wouldn't even be three paragraphs if I had kept it as it was, but I felt I needed to elaborate on it since it seemed the people in charge of editing the bio didn't understand the joke at all. :/

I might edit it later, we'll see what happens once I calm down a bit.

[WiFiSunset]

You could try wording it like this, "So no matter how many times he's told to play "Free Bird" those requests will be in vain, just like a real live musician"

This almost gives K.K. some humanization, and kind of makes him sound like an easy going person.

I'm not sure how it would be worded, but I mean for it to sound like this, "just like a real live musician ;-)".

Edit: It also explains that it's a joke without going into it that much by comparing him to a real live musician.

I just want to clarify, that by "humanization", I mean that it compares his skills to that of a real live musician. So it's kind of doing two things at once.

@Polo: It's the background song that he does not know.

K.K. has around 50 or so songs that he can play, and if you request something random like "Duel of the Fates" or "Battle of the Heroes", then he'll just play an "untitled" song. I put untitled in quotations, because every "untitled" song that plays (3), becomes a new song that you can request in the next Animal Crossing game. (Yes, I put a Star Wars reference in there xD).

Edited May 13, 2013 by Cosmic Sounds

[Mirby]

the untitled songs don't necessarily become new ones in subsequent games, but yes.

also here's info on the joke

thanks for the suggestion there, cosmic sounds :3

[DarkeSword]

Not to step on anyone's toes, but are you guys seriously not familiar with people shouting out "FREE BIRD!" at concerts and shows? This is such a universal "live music" joke.

[Liontamer]

Not to step on anyone's toes, but are you guys seriously not familiar with people shouting out "FREE BIRD!" at concerts and shows? This is such a universal "live music" joke.

Yeah, leave "Free Bird". Or in this case SAVE FREE BIRD!

This is the only bio where a "Free Bird" joke fits right in.

[Polo]

are you guys seriously not familiar with people shouting out "FREE BIRD!" at concerts and shows? This is such a universal "live music" joke.

I am unfamiliar with it.

BUT

We can leave it in. Okay, Taylor?

"just like a real live musician"

Or "just like at a real live concert." But yes, this works.

Now, once more. Post just the 2nd paragraph.

[Dafydd]

I am unfamiliar with it.

So am I, but like I said in post #1440, I recognize I'm probably in the vast minority. The issue from the start was never the joke itself, or that we can't have jokes in the bios or something, but that I didn't realize that everyone but me (and you, apparently) got it.

[Mirby]

K.K. Slider has a few hidden songs in his setlist, and they can only be played if asked for by name. However, if a request is made for a song that's not in his setlist, he'll say he doesn't know that song and will play a random background jingle. Sometimes, he'll elaborate upon these songs in a future Animal Crossing game, turning them into full-fledged K.K. Slider classics. But no matter how much he's begged and pleaded with to play "Free Bird," it will all be in vain, just like at a real concert.

---

There, that work? Added in the tidbit about elaboration cause the paragraph seemed too small.

I can remove it if it ruins the flow and just add this part to the end of the first paragraph if necessary.

Edited May 14, 2013 by Mirby

[Polo]

YES. That works. Thank you.

My only notes are to say "random tune" or similar just so you don't say "song" so often, and "turning them into full-fledged K.K. Slider classics" to keep with the plural form of songs he elaborates upon.

Any more comments or concerns, Dafydd?

Edited May 14, 2013 by Polo

[Mirby]

i used jingle instead of tune, because i liked how that sounded.

[WiFiSunset]

the untitled songs don't necessarily become new ones in subsequent games, but yes.

also here's info on the joke

thanks for the suggestion there, cosmic sounds :3

You're welcome . Glad to be of assistance with this bio . K.K. is awesome!

Keep it up !

Edited May 14, 2013 by Cosmic Sounds

[Unununium]

Certainly no room for it in the bio, but it always brings a smile to my face to think about the (possible?) origin of the name K.K. Slider, that being the song C.C. Rider. One well-known performance of this song was done by The Animals. Of course!

[Dafydd]

I'm just posting the thing in its entirety again, just to make sure we get it right, and so it's all... on the same page.

YEEEEAAAAAHHHH

Totakeke, or K.K. Slider as he is more commonly known, is a rather relaxed canine musician who wanders the world of Animal Crossing. Every Saturday night, he'll show up in the player's town, ready to give a free concert for the townsfolk to come to. He doesn't mind playing a random track, but a song can be requested by name from his repertoire and he'll start playing it, no questions asked. He'll even give the player a copy of the song for them to play on their home radio afterwards, free of charge.

K.K. Slider has a few hidden songs in his setlist, and they can only be played if asked for by name. However, if a request is made for a song that's not in his setlist, he'll say he doesn't know that song and will play a random background jingle. Sometimes, he'll elaborate upon these songs in a future Animal Crossing game, turning them into full-fledged K.K. Slider classics. But no matter how much he's begged and pleaded with to play "Free Bird," it will all be in vain, just like at a real concert.

Although very little is known about his past, it's presumed that he has spent quite a bit of time perfecting his art; naturally, he is talented at a variety of musical styles, and can even be seen trading in his trademark guitar for a set of turntables (and some glasses) in Animal Crossing: New Leaf. What he does when he's not on stage playing music isn't known for certain, but he's probably out there somewhere, working on his next big hit. Even though his library consists of several dozen well-loved songs, there's always room in his setlist for one more great jam.

I still don't get the semicolon in the beginning of the last paragraph, but that's apparently just me, so forget it.

Mirby - thank you so much for not giving up on this, and thanks to everyone else who helped. I also applaud you for insisting on keeping the Free Bird joke.

[Liontamer]

I still don't get the semicolon in the beginning of the last paragraph, but that's apparently just me, so forget it.

I could see dropping the semicolon and "naturally" from that first sentence in the last para and just making 2 sentences. There's no need for the two thoughts to be connected by the semicolon, although it's not a big deal.

[Dafydd]

No deal is too small for the editors of the mascot bio project!

*superhero pose*

[Mirby]

The semicolon is a remnant from when I had it transition to "as a result."

But yeah, Larry's suggestion works for me.

[Polo]

Okay, what bio do you guys want to read first?

FREE BIRD!

To echo Dafydd, kudos on seeing K.K. through to completion. And thanks for the whole Free Bird enlightenment.

[Liontamer]

• Amaterasu (Okami)
  
• Pikachu (Pokemon)
  
• Skull Kid (Zelda)
  
• Proto Man (Mega Man)
  
• Vyse (Skies of Arcadia)
  

These are our top 5 mascot contenders with 2 weeks left. There's almost no chance these 5 don't make it into the top 10 winners.

Who wants to preemptively claim these?

P.S. Who knew VYSE was what was hot in the streets?

[Arrow]

Well, if we're preemptively claiming bios to write, Vyse is MINE, son. Step back.

[Liontamer]

Well, if we're preemptively claiming bios to write, Vyse is MINE, son. Step back.

Happy writing!

[Mirby]

Just noticed something in the K.K. selected game appearances.

I know that the new Animal Crossing was released in Japan last year but... it was known as Jump Out then; the version we're getting as New Leaf is in a few weeks, and also has some features that weren't in the JP version due in part to the fact that we're not on a tiny island nation that works for StreetPassing.

So just wondering if that'll stay as 2012 or updated to 2013

[Polo]

Do these new features include a soundtrack, in whole or in part, that's different from the Japanese release? If so, then New Leaf would count as separate from Jump Out, since a future ReMix could cover one game instead of both.