Necrox Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) I submitted this to a compo recently (the arrangement structure is the same because the compo was MnP) and I just want to get some feedback and improve. https://soundcloud.com/atheox/peaceful-days-remix Edited November 16, 2013 by Necrox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Lee Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Good start. My try some freeform piano after that point with the synths taking a background role. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReverend Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Pros: You've taken some liberty with the soundscape that gives it an open, ambient, metallic, and airy feel as far as some of the fringe instrumentation goes. I think you can do a lot more of this to give the whole song this atmospheric feel with some tweaking of the other sounds and some creativity with the arrangement. The bells and chimes near the end of the song really amplify this effect in my opinion. Cons: The lead instrument sounds really flat and dry. Like a synth organ that hasn't been processed or changed at all. The bass line is pretty bland. I'm not saying it has to be way over active here, but it just sounds like a pad that is always playing the bass note for the length of the bar throughout the whole song. Synth strings at 0:40 are a good reprieve from the lead instrument, but they still sound...plain. It may be worth mentioning that the arrangement is far too similar to the original for a "remix" as far as OCR is concerned, but if this is a project meant for different criteria, you can ignore arrangement critiques. The arrangement sounds robotic as well, as if there is no humanization of the rhythm or note velocities. I know the source well but I haven't listened to it. It may be that the overall tuning of the song has changed, but the chord progression is nearly identical if I remember correctly. This arrangement seems to lack your own style and take. Breathe some Necrox style into this and pump it up! Other Thoughts: Overall this sounds like a MIDI rip with some nice instrument flares on the edges. The main melodic lines are nearly note for note copies of the original melody throughout the song and they are played by instruments that sound uninspired and flat. This has a long way to go to qualify for an OCR remix, but I'm not sure if that's what you are intending. If you are aspiring to submit this to OCR, you can work within the sound structure you have, sans the lead instruments. Use that with a heavy dose of creativity and your own take on the original melody and you can grow from there. P.S. - this might sound harsh but I'm trying to be constructive. I myself am far from a professional remixer or sound guru. I mean no offense by any of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 Pros:... I think you can do a lot more of this to give the whole song this atmospheric feel with some tweaking of the other sounds and some creativity with the arrangement. ... Cons: ... It may be worth mentioning that the arrangement is far too similar to the original for a "remix" as far as OCR is concerned, but if this is a project meant for different criteria, you can ignore arrangement critiques. ... but the chord progression is nearly identical if I remember correctly. This arrangement seems to lack your own style and take. Breathe some Necrox style into this and pump it up! Other Thoughts: Overall this sounds like a MIDI rip with some nice instrument flares on the edges. The main melodic lines are nearly note for note copies of the original melody throughout the song and they are played by instruments that sound uninspired and flat. This has a long way to go to qualify for an OCR remix, but I'm not sure if that's what you are intending. If you are aspiring to submit this to OCR, you can work within the sound structure you have, sans the lead instruments. Use that with a heavy dose of creativity and your own take on the original melody and you can grow from there. ... (the arrangement structure is the same because the compo was MnP) This is not meant for submitting to OCR. It's just for improving. Hence, "Meat 'n Potatoes" compo. It's supposed to be conservative as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReverend Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 This is not meant for submitting to OCR. It's just for improving. Hence, "Meat 'n Potatoes" compo. It's supposed to be conservative as possible. Derp. My mistake. Apparently I completely ignored OP's parentheses. So, ignore the OCR related comments, although I have to admit I didn't know the acronym MnP until now. My apologies for the confusion! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted January 1, 2014 Share Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) Normal comments: The main issue is that the sample quality is pretty lofi. Normally that wouldn't be that much of an issue, but this isn't supposed to be an arrangement for submission, so that officially becomes significant. Specifically, the bells and organ sound thin, the bass and lead pads sound simple (polyphonic low-passed saw wave), and the intro keys instrument sounds "basic". The atonal bells do hold their own, though. The high bells at 0:48 are pretty bright to me, and they hurt. Something you can look into is the low cut on the reverb on the intro keys instrument. It's too low, and that low end ambience clashes with the low pad that's acting like a bass. Edited January 1, 2014 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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