Ethan Rex Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) Hey guys, I polished up my first WCRG track and I'm planning to submit it, but I'd really like for you guys to tear it apart first. Arrangement, mixing, anything - I want this to be perfect. ReMixV2 Thanks Edited December 17, 2013 by Ethan Rex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byproduct Posted December 4, 2013 Share Posted December 4, 2013 (edited) Well, this is an enjoyable listen for sure! I'm not familiar with the sources (and didn't study them now) so I don't know how the remix relates with them, but you do have a nice amount of detail here to keep things interesting, and it sounds pleasant overall. Good one! I can think of three things that would in my opinion still improve it: - The transition(?) at around 00:50 feels awkward, like a cross-fade of two completely separate tracks. There could be some element here linking the parts together. - The piano (especially towards the end of the track) sounds like it's being hammered a bit much, like I can't imagine an actual pianist hitting every accent so hard. A little less velocity would maybe sound more natural (and more pleasant?) - The high bass instrument reminds me of windows 95 .mid songs, which kind of sticks out among the otherwise hifi instruments. Maybe you could make it less static and more alive somehow? Maybe apply some moving filters or try an altogether different preset? Anyway, that's all I can think of for now. ^^ Edited December 4, 2013 by Byproduct Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 (edited) Random nitpicks: 1) Hm... Something's off at 0:14. Not sure what. It's not sounding that "big", and it's kind of cluttered, but only because of the levels, not the number of instruments (because something like this is doable). At 0:16 though, it'd be pretty funny if you put a brass hit. 2) 0:18 - snare is very quiet, kick is buried 3) 0:40 and other similar spots - cymbal is buried 4) 0:50 - the chiptune lead sounds oddly upfront and loud, especially after the quieter previous section. 5) 1:07 - piano sounds a bit mechanical in its timing and velocities. 6) 1:51, 2:11 - sounds pretty piercing, especially on that high note. Dunno why the piano is doubling up with some sort of high synth lead in unison. Maybe the synth lead there could be sent backwards with some reverb and slightly lowering the dry mix? Additionally you may want to fade it out with some automation and then bring the volume back up later, maybe. 7) 1:56 sounds like a chance for you to create a cool chord progression and give a sense of a new section coming up. This is essentially chiptune jazz, so I'd expect jazzy harmonies. 2:16 - piano here sounds especially upfront and exposed, and it sounds a bit dry and a little bit mechanical. Sounds like what Byproduct may be hearing. In general I'd consider points 5 and 8 the most beneficial to work towards fixing, followed by 1-4, then 7, then 6. 0:50 sounds okay to me in terms of arrangement, though a connecting sound may help tie it together with the previous section. It does go from a pretty full section to a very sparse section. Overall, this is pretty cool, man. Tighten up the production some more, and let's polish this up! Edited December 16, 2013 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XPRTNovice Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 [modreview] Hi there. Nice groovy mix you've got here, with lots of good production stuff going on. To make this shine, here is my take: - The intro is nice, but there are some very noticeable volume jumps in the melody line (first noticed at 0:04) that make 4 notes sound way louder than the rest. Just pull them back town and they'll blend fine. - I agree with Timaeus that there's something...off about the drop. But I can't tell what it is. It could be that the volume difference between the intro and this doesn't mesh, or it could be the way the instruments are stacked. It's hard to tell. I feel like it might also need some low end in that drop. - The drums disappear for about 4-5 seconds at 0:33. In fact, the drums in the first section are really inconsistent, they sort of come in and out and make me feel like I can't get into the groove of the piece (which is so tasty, and I want it). This doesn't appear to be a problem after about 0:45 though. - The chiptune lead is a bit loud at 0:50, just a touch. It's not sitting right in the mix. Maybe even a touch of verb in addition to volume control might help tone that down. - Be careful that subwoofery bass doesn't overpower things at around 2:00. It's borderline and it's a really cool touch, but I might pull it back just a touch to avoid it taking over that section. - The piano has a doubling synth lead at 1:31. For the most part I think it works great, but there are two sections where it doesn't decay fast enough and it's too loud - pierces right through the mix. One is at 1:52 and the other is at 2:08 (the two high notes) - The piano lead that jumps in around 2:16 is way too out in front and punchy and doesn't blend. I think a simple volume adjust will fix that, but you might consider shaving some of the highs just a bit. When you do pull it back, take care you don't bury some of the softer twirls that make them quite nice. - I dig the outro [/modreview] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 (edited) I'd like to point out that 0:14 doesn't sound as jarring when I tried listening with some store-brand (aka cheap) earbuds, so to me, it's not extremely jarring overall and mostly caused by the mixing. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most, it's probably a 1~2. Edited December 17, 2013 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethan Rex Posted December 17, 2013 Author Share Posted December 17, 2013 Hey guys, thanks for all the feedback! Updated the first post with a new version - tried to fix the piano issues as well as space everything out a bit better. I also redid the intro a bit so hopefully it's a bit more dynamic. EDIT: Re-reading the feedback, I may have done the opposite of what you guys were saying for the intro, but that's a quick fix. Let me know what you think! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 (edited) Okay, as of this update, I'm okay with 0:14, tbh. Yes, it has room for improvement, but no, I don't have a problem with it anymore. The intro got quieter, and if you just bump it up about 4~6dB, that should be very close to just right. The kick and snare might be sounding a tiny bit stronger at 0:18, but I'm not sure if you touched on those. My little nitpicks on the drums still stand, but that aside, this honestly sounds subbable. It just depends on how picky the judges are with the drum programming and the piano timbre and sequencing. If it were me, I'd give it a borderline pass based on the sample quality, so it'd actually probably pass. Edited December 29, 2013 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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