Super Mario 64 - Dire, Dire Docks / Jolly Roger Bay

[Blodeuyn]

Hey Everyone! I'm hoping no one is confused by the title song, in Super Mario 64 both Dire, Dire Docks and Jolly Roger Bay have the same music.

I've done a Re-Orchestration of the song, and I'm hoping to get a little insight and constructive criticism on my piece so far. It's not done yet, obviously, and I believe I still need to add one part (The ending part from the Source song isn't in my version yet).

Please be gentle!

Remix: https://soundcloud.com/kairi-sawler/direless-docks

Source:

[chjolo]

I like it. I enjoy the mood and simplicity of it. I might be crazy, but it reminded me of the feel of some songs from the Final Fantasy XI soundtrack ( which I see as a massive compliment, considering it's one of my favorite OSTs ).

I like your (re)interpretations the source, but it feels more like a cover than a ReMix to me. I'm not sure if that's what you intended by "Re-Orchestration" or not.

My main gripe would be in the articulation of the sustained cello + violin playing the melody. They feel unnatural in places, and some notes don't come through as clearly as they should. It's more noticeable on the violin, and especially problematic with the faster phrases. I don't feel it's an issue in the (1:20-1:35) and (2:28-2:43) sections, but definitely in the rest of the song. My suggestion would be to really fine tune the articulations to try and make them feel more natural, and also try experimenting with different and varying articulations. You might find that it gives more character, and it would certainly give more personalization to your Re-Orchestration.

I would like to hear some variation or addition in the last 1/2 or 1/3 of the song. I don't find the repetitive nature to be a problem until the (1:20-1:35) section returns at 2:28. At that point my ears are wanting to hear some kind of rhythmic variation. The source accomplishes this when it introduces the drums. I'm not saying you should add drums or even imitate the rhythm of the drums in the source. I'm just saying I think you need something of your own creation that accomplishes the same idea.

To be blunt, I'm not a fan of the ending. I would be more inclined to let the big cymbal wash have the final say, and take out that last pluck. This actually brings me to the last point I'd like to make: The cymbal washes fade out too quickly for my taste. I'd like them to have a moderately longer release.

I understand this is unfinished and even missing a section, so you may be planning to address all these things already.

I honestly have no issues with the mix. I like the sound of the instruments, and I feel it's well-produced. Nothing feels crowded or muddied.

I really like it I hope my feedback helps.

[Blodeuyn]

Thanks for your input, (And a lot of it too!!!!)!!

I'll be taking it into consideration as I improve my piece, especially when it comes to working with that violin and cello.

I'm not really sure if it is a "remix", but I basically took the source, and orchestrated some of my own parts, arranging the piece around that. So, not sure if it "qualifies", but it's what I enjoy doing!

Again thanks!

[Elder Kirby]

I agree with what chjolo has said; the cello and violin definitely need tweaking in their articulations. Try changing the attack and delay on the individual notes. Right now, it's very obvious where some notes end because they cut off unnaturally, which is pretty distracting. Definitely tweak around with the velocities of the notes more to add humanization.

I also think you need some rhythmic variation in at least the second half of the track, otherwise it gets repetitive quickly.

I don't know if you plan on making that your ending because it's a WIP, but you should change it because the cymbal comes on very suddenly. The listener has no way of knowing that the track is wrapping up. Try writing a relaxed ending section that lets the listener's ears adjust. Maybe you could try muting out certain instruments at a time, until it's just one instrument, in which case the cymbal would have to go.

Overall this is very nice. I really like how the mix sits; it's not muddy at all and everything is heard nicely.

I'd say your biggest concern is the rhythmic repetition throughout the song, which makes this very slightly cover-like. I like the melodic variations you used, but they aren't noticed that much because it's over the same arpeggio from the source.

Not too many problems--you've got yourself a nice remix! You should definitely work on it some more, as it's got potential

[The White Steve]

Very Nice stuff right there, one of my favorite pieces from the Mario Series, It's nice to hear an Orchestrated version of it, Everything else I could possibly say has been said by other people already.

But Great work! Sounds Amazing!