jordanrooben Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 (edited) It seems there's another game that we don't have any remixes for here. Age of Mythology! I remember playing this game years ago, and it as well as its soundtrack still hold up pretty well to this day. I don't know if anyone here has noticed, but I don't always post new version after critiques. I probably should more than I do, but I appreciate all of the reviews I get, and even when I don't apply the advice to the track its for, I use it to get better at composing. Thanks to everyone here! Original: ReMix: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/club-mythology-slaysenflite Version 2: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/club-mythology-slaysenflite-v2 Version 3: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/fine-layers-of-slaysenflite-3 Edited March 16, 2014 by jordanrooben Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Uh, what's happening in this? At 0:15 - 0:30, there's muddiness in between the bass and the pad's reverb, and I really don't "get" the LFO panning at 0:30 (why is that there?). Right now the issues are: - muddy mix with bass and the pad's low end ambience - too much reverb overall. Try turning that down until you can hear more clarity. - buried kick and clappy/basic/flimsy snare. You could add some light distortion to strengthen them and a little compression to make them tighter and more standout. - squashed dynamics on the master. Turn down the volume on everything. :S - unusual arrangement choices. e.g. key change at 1:28 for some reason (consider---what does that contribute to the structure? How can you lead into it?) Overall there's really a lot of things going on at once without the clarity to go along with it. Try soloing a pair of instruments and EQing that pair, then doing it again with another pair, and then EQing so the two pairs are clear when playing at the same time. You'd still be EQing in context, but it's easier when you break it down into components. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 I redid the mixing for the entire track, put EQ on some of the parts that didn't have it, added overdrive to the kick and snare, changed some of the instrumentation, and removed the (mild) compression on the master track, and lowered the levels of reverb and delay. The LR panning at 0:30 was meant to add depth, but that's gone now. It clearly didn't work. Regarding the key change at 1:28 I tried to have more material to lead in to it, but I couldn't find anything that works. As of now, I think that it sounds good, though I may need to revisit it later. That section is in the source the way it is though. Version 2 link: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/club-mythology-slaysenflite-v2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) The LR panning at 0:30 was meant to add depth, but that's gone now. It clearly didn't work. Well, it's not like it's "wrong" to do it. It just didn't fit the context, in my opinion---it felt out of place. In this track at 2:20, I think it was done in a way that added some cool contrast, without distracting the listener from anything else (listen all the way through though, so you can get why it works). Edited March 6, 2014 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 That's kind of the type of effect I was aiming for. I just didn't do it right, at all. Though it doesn't seem like the right effect for the song, now that I think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) At 0:30, it sounds nice, but there's some sort of bassiness below the sidechained saw bass that's obscuring it. The lead's alright; kind of staple for trance, it seems. It would have been nice if you had some sort of lead-in to 1:10. Perhaps a descending arpeggio would foretell that ambient impact, but that may just be me. 1:13 sounded like an opportunity to create an expansive soundscape, so personally, it felt kind of... incomplete, I suppose. Maybe some sort of ambient bells would contribute to the texture. The key change at 1:28 is also still abrupt; it's fine to have one, but it would then need to be foretold somehow in the melodic writing and previous harmonies. 1:50 has a harsh dissonance between the tonic of the key (e.g. C in C Major, etc.) and the bell lead. Overall, the dynamics are kind of flat, then drop for the breakdown, then terrace up to flat again. You meant 2:11 to be louder than the previous section, but it sounds like the same volume, except muddier. This flatness to the dynamics is due to the limiter being pushed pretty hard and the mix being muddy in the bass. Try high passing everything that's not the main bass or the kick until the timbre is unfavorable, then stop moving the high pass right before that frequency. I also feel like the lead at 2:26 and on is "not taking a break". It's just playing this super long, somewhat machine-gun arpeggio until the end where it stops playing notes. You're getting better. In my opinion, repetition is fine if it's used for familiarity and to make people feel like they're listening to the same song the whole time, but repetition to fill in when you don't want to write new parts is... just repetition. At some point, see if you can come up with a remix of something in a new (additional) genre, and see where that takes you. Edited March 14, 2014 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted March 14, 2014 Author Share Posted March 14, 2014 Okay, I finished the third version. I'm running into a bit of a wall with this track, so I'm not sure how much more I'll be able to do, but I'd like to fix the issues already mentioned, though. Is the mixing better now? I added more to the backing of the final section, and revamped the entire mixing. I re-wrote a lot of the bridge material, and added in a small melody to transition to the key shift. I'm struggling with what to do there, but does it feel more natural now? Regarding the final melody, I think it sounds good, despite being "machine gun-like", because the notes flow towards a natural end. Is it worth the effort to change up the rhythm, or does it sound okay as it is, despite being rhythmically simplistic? Version 3: https://soundcloud.com/jordanrooben/fine-layers-of-slaysenflite-3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) Well, it no longer sounds muddy. Nothing sounds out of place necessarily, and things are relatively clear. The only weird EQ areas are perhaps 1:43 with the impact being resonant near 12000~16000Hz and the pad at 2:26 to the end being harmonically indistinct (the last chord is major, but is placed pretty far back in the stereo field). Overall, this gets the job done. I don't know how else to say this, but it isn't super impressive. It's nice, but comes off kinda generic to me, at least. Still, you did improve over the course of this, so good job man. Edited March 14, 2014 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted March 16, 2014 Author Share Posted March 16, 2014 I'm going to put this as finished, for now. I don't completely see this going too much further, because, yeah, it's not terribly innovative. Feedback is still welcome though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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