Liontamer Posted November 9, 2014 Share Posted November 9, 2014 (edited) Remixer name: JeffMatthews410 Real Name: Jeff Matthews Email: Website: www.soundcloud.com/jeffmatthews User ID #: 52706 remix link: GAME: Star Fox ARRANGEMENT: "Saving This City" SONG: "Corneria" COMPOSER: Hajime Hirasawa ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK: (SNES) (Wii)NOTES: I have included an email attachment as well as the link because soundcloud is adding small amounts of limiting distortion to the file that are not audible when I play the song on my computer via iTunes. Please use the attached file instead if possible. Thank you for your time and consideration. ---------------------------------------- (SNES - original) (Wii - Brawl) Edited December 3, 2014 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted November 9, 2014 Author Share Posted November 9, 2014 The piano timing at :17 was stiff, with the mechanical timing standing out for me, but with the delay and other instrumentation around it helping to mitigate the issue. The robo-voice at 1:00 was pretty lame, but it was there and gone. Interesting switch at 1:02 to the beats with some dubwubby style stuff in the background. Nothing melodically interpretive, but the expansion treatment was there. Would have liked some effects on the voice sampling from 1:48-1:50, but no big deal. Some disappointing cut-and-paste stuff of 2:03-2:42 of the material at 1:01-1:27, but it was brief in the big picture. I did like the dropoff into the chromatic percussion & piano at 2:42 for a nice, genteel close. The rain SFX at the end bookened with the intro, much like the piano & chromatic perc work. I literally just judged a Batman NES mix where the track opened with SFX, the arrangement was melodically conservative, and the ending mirrored the same ideas from the intro. What's with this formula today? Anyway, the arrangement was straightforward in terms of the melody, but personalized and expanded well. There were some solid dynamic changes due to the instrumentation changing as well as the textures not staying in one place for too long. The mixing was reasonably good, and I liked the energy here. There could have been more to this, but what was there was fine. Good job, Jeff. YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted November 10, 2014 Share Posted November 10, 2014 I happen to like the vocals, even the robo-voice which transitions into the first drop, I think that works well although I can imagine some cool phaser effect (or something) on it, that would be fun. I hear a few clashing notes from 0:53-0:58, not enough to be a problem but noticeable. I like the staccato strings quite a bit. I like the wub bass, I wish there was more of it, it's really subtle. There is some great synth work in the second half, nicely stereo-separated and well sequenced. The overall mixing is working well. The piano sounds a bit mechanical but I really like the timbre. This is a very conservative take on the original tune. The writing does sound quite repeaty... but the instrumentation changes and synth work make up for it. I still wish there had been a little more variation on that source motif, some rhythmic variation on that motif would have worked to break up the melodic monotony. Overall though, I like what is here and it is working for me. YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatdrop Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Conceptually, this was a really good idea. Never occurred to me how well the original song lends itself to dubstepification. First up, the production quality... In terms of the instruments used, I liked the intro stuff up to :56, although the piano rubs me the wrong way. It's too synthetic to pass for an authentic piano, yet the context that it's in begs for a piano that's more convincing. Obviously, not everyone has access to a piano to record (or even the ability to play one), but I think trying some different sampled piano patches might have been more effective. It DOES work a lot better during the outro, though. I'm torn on the bass synth. It's a pretty cool patch from what I can tell, but because of just how incredibly centered/mono it is, it gets lost. This style really calls for a big boisterous bass, and when it doesn't have one, it just sounds hollow. And that's the problem that I'm having with this. It ramps up strongly to the main section at the 1 minute mark, but doesn't follow through. I'm also thinking that switching out from the staccato strings to something more synthetic and grandiose would help a lot with the transition. I also have some issues with the mixing. I can't really elaborate a lot, but it sounds needlessly busy and not very cohesive, as though there's a lot happening at any given time, but each individual sound doesn't sit well with the next. Also, I didn't like the synth arp at 1:51. At all. Didn't like the patch, didn't like the sequencing, and didn't like the way it blended with everything after that point. The arrangement itself is interesting, and I think it's a different kind of take on a theme we're all probably intimately familiar with at this point. But then there are moments, like 1:27, where it's basically lifted verbatim from the original without being adjusted to fit the style of the song. Almost gives me the impression that I'm listening to the original with better samples laid over it and a dubstep beat/bass. I know I focused a lot on the negative aspects here, and I don't want to give you the impression that this is all kinds of broken, because it's not. It's pretty good, but it needs work. Too many clashing ideas throughout. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted November 21, 2014 Share Posted November 21, 2014 Im going to agree that this has a lot of good stuff going for it, but mixing is in need of a lot of polish. The sequencing is mechanical, but isn't breaking any deals for me. The transitions were a bit weak as well, especially at :43, where there's an off beat drum hit and a tempo increase. It felt really sloppy to me, and can easily be cleaned up. it felt to me that the low mids were missing throughout most of the track, and that the stero field wasn't used as effectively as it could have been. This is preventing the harder sections from feeling like they have enough gravity to them. THere's a lot of good feedback on tuning this up, so I recommend polishing the idea a bit and sending it back, this could definitely be front page material with a bit more work! No, please resubmit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted December 2, 2014 Share Posted December 2, 2014 I am definitely not a fan personally of the stiff writing of a lot of the parts, but if that were the only issue I had I'd be OK with it. The arrangement is a bit straight forward, but there is a lot of extra stuff that is going on that I think is good, so props on the personalization. 1:51 and on stuck out as the strongest sections to me in terms of the personalization, but I felt like there wasn't a strong enough soundscape to really drive this home. Andrew has some good tips for that, so I suggest you look into that. Spending some TLC on the soundscape will really put this over the edge for me, though I wouldn't mind the stiff piano and strings getting a bit of a change as well. I'd say your call on the latter, though. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkeSword Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 Dain really nailed every one of my points. There's this weird lack of energy coming from what I think is the hollowness of the sound. There seems to be this build to some sick drop after the Do a Barrel Roll robovoice but it's just underwhelming. I don't really have anything more to say; there are some good ideas but I think other Js really articulated how this can be fixed up. NO, resub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djpretzel Posted December 3, 2014 Share Posted December 3, 2014 OA & Beatdrop's judgments sum things up pretty well - I love this theme, and I think this is a creative take on it, but the execution isn't quite matching the concept at the moment. What type of reverb is applied? It sounds like a room, and when applied to the orchestral components in particular, it has the effect of making it sound like an orchestra has been crammed into a cafeteria. A hall verb, or just something with a longer tail, might widen things up a bit & help things blend. Most of the issues are production related, I'd say - even the decision to use the in-game vocal FX is more of a production issue than an arrangement issue; I think it can work, and I think it comes close to working here, but just needs to be a little slicker/edgier. Like I said, I love this theme, this is an unexpected take on it, and I'd love to see some revisions to fully realize the vision. NO (RESUB) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts