*NO* Undertale 'Two Races, Long Ago'

[Chimpazilla]

Your ReMixer name: Slimy
Email: 
Website: https://soundcloud.com/slimy-4
User ID: 51975

Submission Information:
Game: Undertale
Name of Arrangement: Two Races, Long Ago...
Name of Songs Arranged: Once Upon a Time, Your Best Friend

Links to Originals:

Once Upon a Time
Your Best Friend

Comments: Although the structure of the original song is mostly intact in this remix, I've completely changed much of the chord progression, and aimed to give it a different mood. This remix is meant to sound like it could fill the same role as it's source - an opening to the game - and yet sound more solemn/contemplative/melancholic, like the weight of the entire game is on the shoulders of this one song... or something.
 

Oh, and the melody I ended the remix on? Completely intentional.

 

Edited January 5, 2017 by Liontamer
closed decision

[Gario]

A very sober take on a relatively bright source... I like it. Good source, too - I feel like I have to get that game sometime soon and see what it's all about. The source is very clearly in this, but you do a good job making it into something unique. It's short, but it does everything it sets out to do. I love your choice in harmonies, by the way - sensible, subtle and rich in flavor.

The production on this one feels like there's a low pass on the master track. The highs and upper mids sound almost cut off completely, which makes the entire track sound rather dull. You should allow more of your upper EQ range to pass into your mix, or in the case where you haven't low passed this consider brightening up the track using some EQ. It doesn't sound right, with all of those lows and no highs to give it a clear, crisp sound.

The strings feel like they needs some TLC in the humanization department. When you string phrases together (no pun intended), you allow the attack to swell for each note, which isn't how a string section would play a phrase. There are parts where the swell works fine (like the notes at 0:55 - 1:00), but other parts where it's distracting due to breaking up what should be a phrase (0:52 - 0:55). Your other instruments don't seem to have as much of a humanization issue, so fix those strings.

I love what you do here, but the extremely heavy use of the low-end EQ and the strings bring this one below the bar. Balance your EQ on your lowpasses better so it incorporates more of the high end, and fix up the humanization for the strings better and I could see this one passing.

NO

[Sir_NutS]

I have to agree that there's a heavy falloff in frequency content right around 6k but I think this is not the case where the mix was low-passed but more along the lines of the instruments and pitch ranges used fall into the low and mid-range of the frequency spectrum, as when high bells and cymbals hit I can see them pop up on the analyzer pretty well and most importantly, I can hear them pretty clearly.  I don't think EQing will help here (I did try some hacked up EQ as you're suggesting in your vote), the problem is simply that there isn't any content in the high registers to boost.  Nevertheless, I wasn't too bothered by the predominantly low/mid range mix, it didn't sound unnatural to me.

I will also agree with the comments on humanization around 0:50, although the rest of the instruments sound fine to me.  The arrangement was sweet and to the point, verging on the mysterious and sad a some points, which fits since it's Undertale we're talking about here.  Not a huge amount of interpretation but just enough for me.

Overall if anything has to be done about the frequency balance it needs to go beyond eq'ing and more on the arrangement side, introducing instruments that actually live in the higher registers.  Other than that I'm fine with what we have here, it was short but there was no meandering or wasted space.  If other Js want a revision I'm ok with that too but this is solid enough, IMO.

YES (borderline)

[DragonAvenger]

I do think the arrangement has some fun parts, but overall this is a really short arrangement. I would have loved there to be more expansion on the theme(s), and more fleshing out in general. Done if the harmonic choices are pretty fun, nice work in that aspect.

There's definitely some production aspects holding things back, which is the bigger issue. The lack of clarity that the others mentioned is definitely a weird aspect that feels strange. More importantly I felt that the strings and other parts sound very mechanical and fake. This is more noticeable due to the short arrangement. I'd love for you to work on the strings especially to get the sound and the attacks to sound more realistic. 

I think this is a pretty good start, but needs some work. The production is the bigger issue, but I think being the arrangement up a bit would do a lot of good as well. Hope to hear this fixed up!

NO (resubmit)

[DaMonz]

I agree that the higher frequencies could use some more attention in this mix in order to expand the soundscape some more, but I disagree that it's a deal-breaking problem. I think Mike's vote is on point here, and I could pretty much quote-vote him.

This is a short and sweet arrangement that accomplishes what it's going for. I think the production could be clearer even without altering the instrumentation, with a more definite frequency distribution with careful EQ'ing of the different instruments. Although, I think this track is worthy of OCR even considering its flaws.

YES (borderline)

[Chimpazilla]

I can also pretty much quote-vote Mike's vote.  Short but sweet, great little mix.  The low kettle drum gives some sub-rumble that I think could be eq'd out (below 40Hz) and I agree that a little more highs would be nice but would most likely require writing of some higher-register instruments or sfx.  Regardless, the mix has a muted emotional impact that achieves exactly what it is going for.

YES

[Jivemaster]

Short, sweet, enjoyable. Straight up instrumental mix of the original, I do however enjoy the personal nuances you have added here. Channel balance was decent, things felt relatively full but clear, and each part sounded real enough to my old ears. Sure some EQ tweaks could be made here and there, but because the mix was clear I don't think this is really necessary. Not much else to say for this one, for me it's a

YES

[Liontamer]

On the production side, I actually didn't have a significant problem with the mixing; I agree that this could sound brighter, but what's here was OK. The part-writing was distinct enough to be heard, and I felt like the mixing didn't hugely undermine the presentation.

That said, if you're going to have a track that's only 2:11-long, there's less room for error with stuff like the strings very obviously lacking in humanization, IMO. The releases in particular sounded very exposed, and it just sounds like a composition-focused WIP where the final polishing steps weren't done yet.

On the plus side with the arrangement, nothing repeated verbatim and the piece evolved nicely. This may make it as is, but I know Slimy will hate the execution of those strings in the future. If this doesn't make it yet, I'd vote YES just off of the strings sounding more humanized. Good base, but tighten this up.

NO (refine/resubmit)

[OceansAndrew]

i think the production should be a bit brighter, but more importantly, the humanization of the strings is a big issue in this. There are some nice moments, but typically they are the ones where the strings are not in the forefront, sounding really stilted.

I think that some additional content to the arrangement would benefit this a good deal as well.

It's a good start, but needs more work.

No, please resubmit

[Nutritious]

I can see both sides on this one.  Nice, though short, arrangement.  Some sequencing issues present with realism (mostly in strings as mentioned).  It gets more exposed in places like :40 - :49 with the short note runs and cutoffs.  I get you're going for the abrupt note cutoffs, but it may be a bit too stark.  Lengthening the tails a tad could help a lot.

Soundscape sounds a bit muddy.  EQ in some higher register instruments could come down in the 200-500 range to cut down a bit of the clutter.  Minor issue, though I thought I'd mention it.

Like I said, it's short, but does have development and good writing.  I'd like to hear more arrangement work, but it's not necessary for getting above the bar.  I'd like to hear another pass on some production detail work with realism and if possible getting a bit more clarity out of the mixing.

NO resubmit, please

[MindWanderer]

Short and sweet, I felt like the arrangement did everything it needed to.  As an introduction to a greater body (a game or longer performance), I felt like the absence of high-frequency instruments was as aesthetic decision that worked fine.  But in such a stark arrangement, the lack of humanization really hits you.  Those abrupt cutoffs over and over again are jarring, and the mid-phrase attacks on the strings, as Gario described, aren't realistic.

With such a minimalist piece, what is there really needs to nail it, and I feel like this just barely isn't there.  Please clean it up and send it back our way!

NO (borderline)