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*NO* Super Mario 64 "Sleepy Snore Spores"


Rexy
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Contact Information
ReMixer name: Reuben Spiers
Real Name: Reuben Spiers
E-Mail: 
 
Submission Information
Game: Super Mario 64
Name of Arrangement: Sleepy Snore Spores
Name of Original Song: Piranha Plant Lullaby

Also featuring GameroftheWinds
 
Edited by Liontamer
closed decision
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  • 2 weeks later...

Man, what a cool adaptation.  The lullaby feeling is mostly gone here in this folksy take, and it's for the better in my opinion.  Great performances all around, love the accordion here, it fits even more when you think a lot of SM64 use this instrument.  The mix is clean and instruments feel separated and mixed cohesively.  I feel the tempo could be faster here as some sections feel like they are plodding through but it's not a deal breaker for me.  As the mix progresses, more layers keep being added until the climax, and I didn't feel the mix got cluttered so kudos there.

There's only one issue here and it's the overall volume is way too low.  This should be an easy fix and I'm going to request this to be addressed before it goes up, but I'm onboard with this one.

YES (Conditional on levels)

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  • Sir_NutS changed the title to 2019/07/16 - (1Y) Super Mario 64 "Sleepy Snore Spores"
  • 5 weeks later...

It's a pretty conservative take, but by the halfway point it's clear that the layers have made this much more than a reinstrumentation.  It's mellow without still being (quite) a lullaby.  I agree that it does overstay its welcome by just a bit, but it's borderline in that respect at worst.

I do agree with NutS about the levels, though--there's almost 2dB of headroom and you can get much more out of it by limiting the peaks.

YES (conditional on levels)

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  • MindWanderer changed the title to 2019/07/16 - (2C) Super Mario 64 "Sleepy Snore Spores"

i agree that it's way too quiet. there's a ton of headroom that needs to get corrected before it goes out. a limiter on some of the tiny peaks would help a lot.

i definitely think that the levels are kinda out of whack. the accordion is real loud when it comes in, and at 1:25ish when the picc is added and the accordion is just doing oom-pas, it's way louder than anything. i can't even hear the guitar anymore at that point. it's pretty clear that everything was put in with volume and not adjusted for balance in each section.

from an arrangement perspective, i thought it was fairly straightforward. there's enough to call it an arrangement, but i'd say that it isn't gaining any points in my mind for how creative it was.

performance-wise, i wasn't a fan of the bass, which felt too marcato for the style. there was just too much space between the notes. i enjoyed the flute and picc tones, so that was nice. the guitar felt a little out of tune on a few chords in the beginning and at the end as well.

i have a lot of nitpicks on this one, and i'd say that it does add up to being not quite there yet. the mastering needs another pass both from a limiter/compressor standpoint and from a volumization standpoint. the arrangement is fine, but i feel that the bass and out-of-tune guitar really dragged the overall performance down too. this one's pretty close but i'm leaning on the side of not there yet.

 

 

NO

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I was having trouble articulating my thoughts, but I think proph really articulated most of what I was hearing.  To add to his thoughts, I felt like the drums were underwhelming, both in production and writing.  They're very repetitive save the occasional basic fill.  The drum samples themselves, while not great, do work OK for the most part in context, except the kick, which has almost no presence.  I'd drop the ride/hihat/cymbal levels as it sticks out a lot and adds to the repetition for the second half.

Not to sound too negative, I like the arrangement, if indeed it is a bit straightforward - more so in the first half IMO, it shows a good amount of creativity.  However, I feel like this needs more work than just levels to get it up to par.

NO resubmit, please

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  • Nutritious changed the title to 2019/07/16 - (2C/2N) Super Mario 64 "Sleepy Snore Spores"

I agree the overall level is too low, with the track hovering around -4 to -3db peak much of the time, with a max RMS of -16 which is super quiet.  The track isn't blowing me away creatively, but I agree the performances are nice.  The bass writing is very simple and repetitive and doesn't add any excitement to the track. The drums are bringing it down a lot for me, with a super simple pattern and underwhelming production.  It's a sweet little tune but needs a bit more oomph.  I think an upgrade in the drum writing and production would do it for me (along with a slight bump in the master level).

NO (please resubmit)

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  • Chimpazilla changed the title to 2019/07/16 - (2C/3N) Super Mario 64 "Sleepy Snore Spores"

Agreeing on the headroom - it's quiet even in comparison to past work, Reuben.  The live instrumentation all sound clean, but it's hard to make out the melodies when the accordion is too far out into the front.  Even with that gone, both flute melodies at 1:55 are so similar they bleed into each other.  To remedy this, I feel one part is better off being either performed at a lower/higher octave or on a different wind instrument altogether.  The cymbals also overpower the kick and snare, so by bringing them down a touch, you'd get more out of the rest of the drum kit.

The arrangement is straight-forward though - some changes to the melody with one or two additional notes, along with those lovely flute harmonies at 2:24.  Nothing mindblowing outside of Greg's solo spot at 1:26, but the subtle modifications are enough to consider this a decent framework.  It does, however, have some problems regarding autopilot.  The bass does the same style of rhythms throughout, and I would've liked to have seen some form of a shake-up after the drums' introduction.  And talking of the drums, they go through the same four-bar pattern until the end.  See if you can find areas of the track where you can change up the groove and break that monotony.

Indeed, a lot of smaller problems have added up for this to get sent back to the drawing board.  The bass/drum autopilot issues, mixdown, flute melody clashing and master levels have all contributed some significant areas of improvement.  The framework and performances are delicate, so I say keep the structure as it is while you take a look at these current flaws.  Keep at it.

NO (resubmit)

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  • Rexy changed the title to 2019/07/16 - (2C/4N) Super Mario 64 "Sleepy Snore Spores"
  • 3 weeks later...

The drumkit (especially towards the finish from 2:52-on) sounded very exposed and stilted. This was another example like "A Very Mario Christmas" where the arrangement concept is sound, yet -- not knowing what parts were performed live or not -- the execution sounded very rigid and not as expressive and smooth as it should. The execution is close to the bar here, but ultimately falls short. If you can spice up some of the drum writing and adjust some levels for the parts that the other judges alluded to, that would be great.

For me, Reuben, this was just too static-sounding of a performance, and that's what drags it down for me. Definitely don't be discouraged; this was a really good foundation here where the core of the arrangement doesn't need to be touched at all to get it above the bar. Would love to hear a tweaked version of this back in the submission inbox.

NO (resubmit)

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