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*NO* Undertale "Dance of the Lasers"


Rexy
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Hello,

Contact Information

ReMixer Name – DiGiovanni
Name – Dylan DiGiovanni
Website (for original music only) – digiovanni.bandcamp.com
UserID – 36252Su

Submission Information


Game Arranged – Undertale
Name of Arrangement – Dance of the Lasers
Song Arranged – Another Medium

Comments – I’ve always wanted to make remixes in general, especially of video game music, but I’ve always struggled with it for one reason or another. However, one morning a few weeks ago I decided to tab out Another Medium in Ableton Live using my Undertale Piano Collections book and some fan-made sheet music online. After I laid out the kind of sweeping pattern over the top of the song, I threw in some drums and was like “this could really go somewhere”, so I stuck with it and in about 3-4 hours I had written out the first third of the song and loved what I had so far! Now here we are, my first remix is complete and out there for everyone to see :)

Thank you,
-DiGiovanni
 

Edited by Emunator
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  • 1 month later...

Lots of swirling around the stereo field for an interesting opening on headphones.

The beat arriving at :33 felt relatively basic, but let's see what else enters the picture.

The change into 1:15's section was very disappointing; the textures felt way too empty and this would only make sense as a purposeful contrast with the track then quickly filling out. Same at 1:59; you've just got some basic beats/claps under the "Another Medium" melody, the piano also feels super robotic, and there's not that shift to complexity and fullness in the writing and textures.

The final three notes at 3:32 were flatter than a plate of piss; let that ending breathe more. :'-(

The musicians Js could better articulate how to flesh out this piece, because you've got a lot of potential in terms of the melodic interpretation. However, there's an additional level of depth lacking in the writing. The piano sequencing was rigid, the percussion was usually too basic and texturally thin, and the overall execution felt like it never rose higher than second gear.

Although you may not be able to polish up this one into a pass, Dylan, there's some potential here; definitely try your hand at improving this one if you're still open to it, otherwise I look forward to what I know would be another promising future submission.

NO (resubmit)

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  • Liontamer changed the title to 2019/09/15 - (1N) Undertale "Dance of the Lasers"
  • 2 weeks later...

Not a bad sub, but I think it falls a bit short.  Production-wise things are clean, helped by the arrangement not being overly deep, but that lack of depth hinders it quite a bit.  The drums are basic in the sense that there aren't that many percussive elements there however there are many sections where you change things up, sometimes you go half-time, sometimes you try interesting rolls and fills, so overall I think you did a lot with what you had but adding more depth there wouldn't hurt.  The textures aren't overly interesting, sometimes they do their job (I think the sidechained supersaws were alright) but sometimes they feel flat. As an example I think the pulse wave leads are bland and don't seem to have a lot of articulations or performance techniques applied to them.  If you listen to the original leads there's a loooot going on with the articulations and performance techniques there, I would advise to take a closer look at how the original makes that lead interesting.

There are some issues that are more related to energy management here, as 1:15 feels like it's intended to be a drop but it falls very, very short of having any impact.  Maybe it's meant as a breakdown, but this section is followed by another breakdown at around 1:44 which is confusing.  Either the drop at 1:15 needs to have a lot more impact or you need to get rid of the section so you don't have two consecutive breakdowns.  The ending is super disappointing and doesn't resolve into anything.

The arrangement is really not that different from the original in both style and substance.  I think you could do more to separate your take from the original.

As of right now I don't think this makes it but you're not really too far from something that could make the frontpage, however this definitely needs more work.

NO

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  • Sir_NutS changed the title to 2019/09/15 - (2N) Undertale "Dance of the Lasers"

This arrangement does have a lot going for it. There's some very satisfying sub frequencies going on in your mix, and I like the overall mixture of chill instrumentation and harder trap beats. The main issues I'm picking up on are sound design on your lead instruments, and the levels of your instruments.

Starting off with the sound design, I thought things were relatively solid up until 1:15. The pulsewave lead is incredibly loud in the mix and does not fit with the rest of the soundscape in terms of reverb or overall texture. It sticks out like a sore thumb, I would strongly consider revisiting that lead in general and bringing the levels down. The piano sound, similarly, is a dry, tinny sample that doesn't fit well with the rest of the song. You might be able to get some of the way with EQ work to soften the tone of the piano, but honestly you might be better served by finding a different piano sample or using a different instrument entirely. 

Sir_NutS did a great job explaining the issues I have with the drums so I won't go further than co-signing his thoughts. The ending is also way too sudden and doesn't offer any proper resolution. 

Aside from that, I actually really enjoyed the bones of your arrangement and how you interpreted the source, so I think this is worth a second pass at! Good luck :)

NO (resubmit)

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  • Emunator changed the title to *NO* Undertale "Dance of the Lasers"
  • Emunator locked this topic
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