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Our Tales of Christmas: Past and Present

The Coop

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So here we are. The final hour and a half of yet another Christmas day. Presents have been opened, food has been eaten, company has been enjoyed, and perhaps there was even a bit of singing in there somewhere. Of course, you might have been miserable and alone, cursing out everyone you've ever known and wishing nothing less than the most painful of deaths upon all around you (which incidentally, is having your eyelids cut of, your head taped into position, and being forced to watch "Cop Rock" episodes on an endless loop).

Either way, surely you've had a Christmas day that's spawned an interesting story or two before it was over. This thread is dedicated to that very thing, be they funny, touching, or unbelievable. And as the thread creator, allow me to share the latest...

This evening, my parents, brother and myself all gathered for dinner together. It was something of an odd dinner, seeing as it was spaghetti and meatballs, with homemade garlic bread to go along with it. We sat, ate, talked about things going on in the world, about past Christmas', and things of their ilk. However, little did we know that the topic, would soon become very focused on a single event.

After we'd eaten, and were just sitting there talking, I mother took a drink of water. Seems the water didn't feel like going down her throat, and instead tried to get into her windpipe. This of course, brought forth a series of coughs... and something else.

After a few small hacks, my Mom let out a pair of big coughs, and at the same time, a particularly loud pair of butt burps to go with those coughs.

I'm staring at her, trying my best not to laugh. My brother, with a mouth full of bread, simply stopped chewing and looked at her. My father, who had been looking at one of the cats on the floor, looked at her over the top of his glasses. My Mom looked at us with a "not a word" glare. Silence hung in the air as she cleared her throat in an attempt to get rid of the water that was still irritating her throat. A few seconds later, she let out a small cough... which was accompanied by a similarly small fart.

I lost it at this point. I leaned back in my chair laughing like a fool. By brother spit out the bread he was chewing, and my father just looked back down at his lap still trying not to laugh. Whether my Mom was embarrassed or not, I don't know. I say this, because I was wiping away tears from laughing so hard. My brother was doing the same, and eventually, my father finally gave in and laughed his ass off. Even my Mom had to surrender to laughter as she watched the rest of us.

Needless to say, it wasn't the way my Mom wanted dinner to end, but it certainly was a memorable way to do it. So let that be a lesson to you folks. If you have to fart, do so before you sit down for a family holiday dinner that typically lasts a while.

Care to share some of your own?

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Oh wow, that's pretty good! My mom would probably hide in her room if that happened to her. Let's see... Probably the highlight of my day was teaching my family how to make chocolate mice...

What you need:

- Geneva cookies

- Cherries *with stems*

- Hershey's kisses

- Melted chocolate

- Sliced almonds

- Gel icing in various colors

The cookies become the base for the mice to sit upon. First you take a cherry by the stem and swirl it around in the melted chocolate; this becomes the body of the mouse, and the stem is its tail. Then you stick a Hershey's kiss to the front of the cherry, horizontally so that the tip forms the shape of the mouse's snout. For ears, you place two rounded almond slices between the cherry and the kiss. And to top it off... use the colored gel icing to dot the mouse with a nose and two eyes!

Of course, my brother took the liberty to create his own versions of this adorable treat... Namely:

- One "lab experiment gone wrong," with two heads stuck together and a jumble of discolored eyes and ears coming out every which way, and...

- A decapitated mouse head, with plenty of blood to boot.

An example of my lovely creation is pictured between his two:


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Those lookin' delicious Pixie.


Lets see... I had got back on Christmas Eve around 11pm, and I couldn't sleep. I hopped on AiM an me n my uncle both bring up the topic of wondering where a fast food place would be open...

We only stopped at 2 places, but both have memorable and very odd tales.

The first was a Dunkin' Donuts. This was literally the only one open for miles and miles around. We got there around 4am and there must've been 6 different people there, but all visibly drunk. We watched a guy stumble out to his truck and try to open the door for over 10 minutes, and after that got boring, grabbed some Hawaiian Punch and ran off since they wern't even serving food yet... weird.

Our next stop was a 7/11 with one guy of Arab ethnicity working who knew very little english. We walked straight over to the burrito's and sat there laughing at them. NEVER trust a man named Don Miguel to supply your burritos. We bought a few of those each and then massive cans of Monster. While the guy was ringing us up, we started berating Jesus and laughing hysterically. The cashier said something about Allah and started laughing with us.

That was a fun night.

Then in the early afternoon on Christmas Day, some of my family was playing Texas Holdem with small bets, like around 10$. My cousin and I made out with around 20$ each, so more money in the pocket...

After all was said and done, I went out with my other cousins and we blazed and watched A Christmas Story...

Rather uneventful and maybe sadistic... but I had fun.

And I got a 30gb iPod! :D

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Nothing really that funny, touching, or unbelievable happened to me this Christmas. :|

I visited a family friend of mine and he answered his door with nothing but his underwear on... not really that funny or anything... just strange. :dstrbd:

It doesn't have to be this Christmas. This is for sharing stories from both this Christmas, and ones in your past.

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Well, here's a short one where me and my brothers all got fooled haha.

We were opening presents, and my oldest brother opens up one from our Grandmother.

brother: "Zelda! Aw man, but it's for the SNES".

mom: "I told her regular Nintendo, not Super. I guess I'll have to return it."

After we open everything else, our mom had one last gift that she wanted all 3 of us to open at the same time. Me being older now, I would have known what it was, but I forget how old I was at the time and I had no clue what was in this box. It was an SNES and we were so happy and excited. Maybe not as happy as the N64 kid, but we had the biggest smiles on our faces.

Ahh, good times..

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My Grandpa doesn't always pay attention to what he's doing when wrapping gifts so one year when I went downstairs on Christmas morning, I saw a REALLY big box with my name on it and was super excited to open it. I ripped off the paper and looked inside only to find it filled with more boxes (unwrapped). After searching through boxes filled with more boxes, I concluded that there was nothing in the box at all. My Grandpa realized he had wrapped the box by mistake and I got $20 for my efforts.

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