Something that bugs me about death

[The Author]

As I mentionned, my friend's sister died in a car crash. And well, again, I have a hard time dealing with death. The fact is that I nearly died so many times (4 and counting) that death does not scare me personally, but I hate it when it affects someone I know.

The thing is that I somehow feel guilty for myself having survived so many times against pretty steep odds. I don't know why I feel guilty that I am alive and others are dead.

And also, my way to deal with death, and well, with many thing, is humour. However, whenever someone dies, I feel like I am disrespecting the memory of the person who died by trying to smile and laugh.

And also, I wish to go to her funerals (even though I never met her, I want to be there for my friend, and his girlfriend who also is my cousin), but I am broke. I mean really, this week I don't have a penny to spare. My logic tells me I should not got. My heart however, does not share that idea. The fact that I am concidering not going makes me feel like a horrible person.

EDIT: Wow, I was sure I was in unmod, and you can't delete a thread... Well, if a mod could move this to unmod. I want people to see my thread.

[Sir_NutS]

well I think it's better that it stays on gendisc, in unmod you would rarely get a serious response.

And death, well thats one thing that intrigues me the most. Though you shouldn't feel bad about it, everyone has their own way of dealing with it, and if you know that person wouldn't get mad at you for being that way if that person was alive, then I don't think you're disrespecting them.

I'm not one that thinks that there's anything to respect after someone dies, but if you do, just try to do what they would have wanted you to do. If they were your friends, I bet they would prefer to see you happy.

[Señor Quetzalcoatl]

It is a strange thing to see someone die.

All sorts of thoughts go through your head. It's weird.

And yes, I mean literally be next to someone on their deathbed, on their last minutes of life because of cancer... weird weird weird.

[Ab56 v2 aka Ash]

What you need, my friend, is a Vampire Killer.

[Atomicfog]

It may seem odd, but numerous people die everyday, and you will have your turn soon enough. Just have to live with it.

[EvilHorde]

Humour is just a way to deal with things in life. And a pretty fine one if you ask me. I think the fact that you even think that making jokes is disrespecting the memory of the people who died is proof that you're actually not disrespecting them, inside your head anyway. If you know what I mean. So I wouldn't worry too much about making jokes. Let us joke while we still can.

[SilverStar]

I've personally stared death down at least a half dozen times, since I was only a few months old, so I know what it's like to feel like a survivor.

But, you have to look at your own spiritual beliefs. Do you feel that death is the final end, that there's nothing beyond it? If so, celebrate their life and mourn the loss of what could have been.

Do you feel that when they die they go on to an afterlife, in heaven/hell? Celebrate their life and shed a tear for the loss of the life. If they were someone who you know wasn't a very good person, be glad they're not going to be around to cause further harm. If they were someone who lived a good life, be happy for them that they're having their own party in heaven.

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, just party hard at the good from their life and crack open a cold one for them. It's not a loss, it's just something that happens. Like having a cold. You're miserable for a bit, but then you get over it and you move on.

In any case, death should be a celebration. Do not mourn the dead too much, instead celebrate their life. When I die, I want to be cremated on a funeral pyre, in the middle of a big party with friends and strangers alike. If it's the last thing I'm going to be at in the flesh, I damn well want it to be something fun! Let people at least have THAT much of a memory of me!

[Atomicfog]

Humour is just a way to deal with things in life. And a pretty fine one if you ask me. I think the fact that you even think that making jokes is disrespecting the memory of the people who died is proof that you're actually not disrespecting them, inside your head anyway. If you know what I mean. So I wouldn't worry too much about making jokes. Let us joke while we still can.

QFT. Respectable people would rather you not dwell over their death.

[Old Man Time]

I've personally stared death down at least a half dozen times, since I was only a few months old, so I know what it's like to feel like a survivor.

But, you have to look at your own spiritual beliefs. Do you feel that death is the final end, that there's nothing beyond it? If so, celebrate their life and mourn the loss of what could have been.

Do you feel that when they die they go on to an afterlife, in heaven/hell? Celebrate their life and shed a tear for the loss of the life. If they were someone who you know wasn't a very good person, be glad they're not going to be around to cause further harm. If they were someone who lived a good life, be happy for them that they're having their own party in heaven.

Do you believe in reincarnation? If so, just party hard at the good from their life and crack open a cold one for them. It's not a loss, it's just something that happens. Like having a cold. You're miserable for a bit, but then you get over it and you move on.

In any case, death should be a celebration. Do not mourn the dead too much, instead celebrate their life. When I die, I want to be cremated on a funeral pyre, in the middle of a big party with friends and strangers alike. If it's the last thing I'm going to be at in the flesh, I damn well want it to be something fun! Let people at least have THAT much of a memory of me!

Everything I was going to say, just stated much better than I could have said it. You know whats up.

[Chavous]

Honestly, humor is a great way to deal with it. It can help you cope and the people around you. If they see that you're calm, it might help them out too.

Personally, at my funeral, I want everyone to say "He was a good person. He loved music and everyone. He made great commitments and cared for everything. But he always was a little weird, just as he liked it. Blah blah blah, ok that's over, let's party!".

I don't want people mourning me. Haha, that'd make he feel really guilty.

[Mogrothir]

I've often heard a metal song and said, "Man, this would be totally fucking rad at my funeral." Because that's who I am - I'm trying my damndest not to give a shit about anything in life, because it's pointless. I firmly believe that, after I'm gone, nothing I did is going to matter anymore, so why not have fun?

I don't want people mourning me. I want people to see my funeral as a chance to get together, share some laughs, have a good time, and move on with their lives. There's no point in making yourself unhappy about anything, because it really, truly doesn't matter.

Health is the slowest possible rate of death, all things considered. It's not like death is avoidable - it comes, often when it's not expected, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Well, you could always sell your soul to the devil and skulk about the earth as a member of the undead, going from town to town, feasting on the brains of the unsuspecting, but...I dunno.

I lost my train of thought.

Also, you're not a terrible person for not wanting to go to a funeral. If you can't make it, you can't make it - but let your friend know that you just can't make it, but you'll be thinking about them. It should help.