Emunator Posted November 28, 2021 Share Posted November 28, 2021 Original Decision Greetings OC team, below the information about my resubmission. Contact Information: ReMixer Name: powerpilz Email: Submission Information: Name of games: Jazz Jack Rabbit 2 Name of arangement: Power Jam Name of individual songs: Medieval Jam Link to the original song: https://ocremix.org/song/25195 So. I finally decided to resubmit this track in it's improved version. I was really glad to receive your feedback and I guess it helped a lot to do some improvements. The drums have more variations, the kick is more crunchy, the track generally is a little bit more crunchy due to cuts in fillers and so more weight on the lead parts, i fixed the slightly off melody in one part and one of the most important things to me: the lead parts differ now so it's more fun to listen to the whole track. I didn't want to do too many variations in the drumparts thoug. I really like the flow now how it is and didn't want to disturb it too much with the drumset taking too much of space. The additional lead sound, that was way too loud in the last part of the second lead part, is still present, but it fits more in the rest of the composition. Sooooo I guess it's a really nice mix now. Best regards, powerpilz Source: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted January 28, 2022 Share Posted January 28, 2022 I didn't hear the first version of this, but from what I can tell, this is a vast improvement. Lots of variation to the instrumentation, textures, and beats. It's a really fun arrangement all throughout. However, you also got one critical piece of feedback that you don't seem to have taken advantage of: Balance. Every melody-driven part of the track has a problem with the melody being buried. In 1:05-1:29 the lead is played by a mellow synth that's too quiet compared to the bell and the percussion. In 1:30-1:55 and again at 3:00-3:25, you have the lead and a vamping counterpoint, played by the same saw synth, at the same volume, and they're stepping all over each other. 3:26-3:52 doesn't have the problem of using the same synth, but there's an extra layer or two as well; the warm pad in particular is right in the range where you don't want it. 3:53-4:19 features a bell lead that at least stands on its own, but again it's far too quiet compared to the bass and percussion. I really enjoyed the arrangement. The vamping of the melody was really entertaining, and the energy levels were just right. It's not quite as simple as a balance fix, because some of the synths you chose as leads are softer, more triangle-like waveforms, which have a hard time cutting through a mix, so you might want to choose different leads there, as well as something different to accompany the lead in the two sections where they're the same. (It can be a similar synth, but shape it a little differently and make it a little quieter; stereo separation can also help but is tricky when a lead is involved.) I really do want to see this back. Keep at it! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 i didn't vote on the original decision. right off the bat, this sounds really condensed. i was surprised to see a good body of >4khz freqs up past 10k, and that it's really only got about 1.5db of headroom. however there's a lot under 40hz and there's a TON in the 100-500hz range. that is why it sounds so dark and like it has no highs - most of the dbs are going to the low mid range. an EQ pass would help this out a lot, scooping out the low mids some especially on the pad and opening up some room for other instruments. as i get farther into the piece, i see what MW was talking about regarding balance. it's all over the place. there's some really fun synth work in here! like the melody stuff at 1:30, there's some really fun butterfly synth stuff jumping around in there. but it's totally different in terms of volume from everything else. while i think some of this is volumization, most of it is just a good multiband compressor to help balance it out. around 2:30 the heavy low-mid/bass/sub-bass content started to get tiring. the arrangement picking up after this helped a lot, but there's still a lot of stuff going on in the same register (which is causing so much low-mid throughout i think). the countermelodic content here though was pretty fun. this needs a lot of mastering work. i think the synths overall are fun, but they're unbalanced and so it's hard to hear what's going on elsewhere for much of the track. i think you've made a lot of progress though! NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 This mix has a few issues. It is a good start and has definite potential but it feels disjointed in a number of ways. I'm not sure the timbres fit together as well as they could. As MW pointed out, there's a problem with some of the leads, the one at 1:05 sounds like it's being played by a pad and it's way too weak. I like the fact that you changed up the lead instruments a lot, that's definitely a positive! Something happened to the melody writing at 2:08 and again at 2:20, it sounds like the writing of the two timbres playing together clashes with each other, making that little section sound awkward. The breakdown from 2:22 to 2:35 sounds choppy and awkward. At 3:00 there is a vocal or some kind of backing element that sounds very out of tune. On a repeat listen it sounds like it might be the flute from the intro, which only works by itself because of how it is written. The track also has no groove because I can't hear any sidechaining on anything, which also causes the kick to be buried when the soundscape is full. There is some fun synth writing in the track and I think there is potential here but it still needs some work. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted March 31, 2022 Share Posted March 31, 2022 I can raise the volume myself, but sounds like the levels are too quiet. After the build, the energy at :51 was too low. Same at 1:04, I still had problems with the core boom-tss beats feeling very vanilla & metronome-y and the soundscape not sounding properly filled in. The synth brought in at 1:29 was too loud compared to the melody, IMO; it's clearly purposeful, but I didn't feel like that balance worked. Dug the 8-bit breakdown at 1:56 and enjoyed how the beats returned underneath it at 2:09. Back to the repetitive core beats at 2:35; same issues as before where the super-plain timing and rhythms (without meaningful variation) dragged down the energy levels. Still enjoyed the chiptune-y countermelody at 3:01. Not sure how you can create more motion and movement to this piece when the beats feel so locked to grid and don't feel energetic. I hate to come across so negatively, but I didn't hear any meaningful improvements to the main things holding this back, i.e. plodding beats, thin textures, and a lack of movement, all of which undermined the energy of your presentation. I hate to be so on the nose with a comparison, but former judge DaMonz also tackled this source (along with Mario 64), so that's a good example of an approach to the same source where there's more compositional & production techniques to vary the sounds (e.g. filtering, tempo), the beats snap and have evergy, and the track sounds full. Still a promising base, but the core issues aren't addressed yet. Keep at it! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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