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OCR04436 - *YES* Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)" *PRIORITY*


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(sent after initial rejection - NES triangle intonation tweaks)
Original version

Another Mario one for you all. This is a new version of my first posted ocremix (#1944) from way back in 2009, adapted for my band Marshall Art. It's the same general arrangement but with completely different instrumentation, setting it further apart from the original source tune than my initial version. I think it's different enough to justify submitting it as a companion piece to my first version.

We first re-arranged this track back in 2017-2018 for our MAGFest main stage performance and subsequently recorded it for our 2020 album/performance video "ULTIMATE". This submission is largely the same as the 2020 version, but with a few tweaks to freshen it up for you guys.
 
All the best,
-Jeff
 
Performance music video (2020 mix): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBzrtD97FdQ
 
Credits: 
Jeffrey 'jmr' Roberts: arrangement, NES, Gameboy, Sega Genesis programming, mix, mastering, video edit
Mikhail 'streifig' Ivanov: ebow guitar, rhythm guitar
Cory Johnson: lead guitar
Jer Roque: Piano
Erich 'ErichWK' Beckmann: drums, drum mixing.
 
4/2/23 update: I saw one of the main complaints was the intonation on the theremin style NES triangle parts. Quirk of the hardware - the pitch gets kinda squirrely on that channel in the upper registers. I hit the triangle parts with some pitch tweaks in melodyne. For context, I knew that part was a bit flat but accepted it because it was a limitation of the hardware I chose, and that's a good chunk of the band's aesthetic. The album was intended to be a pseudo-live recording with no major edits or things we couldn't achieve on stage, so it was left as is. Outside of the context of the album, I'm completely fine with faking it. :-)
 
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I forgot how much I love this source tune, I haven't heard it for awhile.  The intro is a slow fade-in followed by a very flat off-key sounding timbre at 0:22 which sounds out of place.  At 0:42, a lead synth starts, and it is playing in such a low register and it mushes together with all the other sounds playing at the same time.  At 1:10, several synths, guitars and piano are playing at the same time, and the varied writing and sounds are conflicting with each other terribly, sounding like a wall of disharmonious sound.  I think it may be very difficult to mix these instruments clearly since so many of them are in the same frequency range.  The soundscape is just too busy with too many similar sounds, and a lot of them are buzzy in different ways so the buzzy-ness stacks up.  The arrangement itself is fine; it is conservative yet has enough personalization to stand apart from the source.  I really like this arrangement, but the sound choices, flat mixing and hectic part-writing are tanking it for me.  Good luck with the rest of this vote!

NO (resubmit)

Edit 4-3-23:  Listening to the revised version, that first lead has been pitch-corrected and that helps a lot, it doesn't feel so wobbly and out of tune.  I still don't think it is the greatest lead sound.  I also still don't care for the lead that begins at 0:42; it feels like a backing element to be played in the bass range, it does not sound like lead material to me.  Both of those leads feel like they are tacked on to the soundscape rather than nestled within it.  Some EQ and reverb could be used to fix that.  I still feel like there are too many elements playing at the same time. 

I think my favorite part of this mix happens at 2:11, the guitar that starts up there and the big crescendo that follows sound like an epic surf-rock arrangement.  I'm just not a fan of the other sounds, most especially the two main leads.  Still, this is a cute arrangement, noodly as prophetik said, with lots of personality.

That said, I hear those pops that MW mentioned between 1:40-1:58.  They sound like rendering errors or perhaps a compressor or distortion plugin behaving badly.  These should be removed before posting the track.

YES (conditional, remove the pops) 

Edited by Chimpazilla
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  • Chimpazilla changed the title to 2023/03/15 - (1N) Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)"

Kris nailed this vote.  The detuned sounds and the conflicting frequencies make this not very pleasant to listen to.  I'd prefer a more conclusive ending, as well, but otherwise just ditto to the above.

NO

Edit: The April 2 revision fixes the tuning, which was the biggest problem I had.  I do think it's mid-heavy and mushy; in particular, the ending, from 2:25 on, has five or six synths all crowded into the mids, and it's 40 seconds of this, not 20 — about 20% of the track. It's super borderline for me on that front.

However, I noticed something this time that I didn't notice before: there's a quiet popping noise that comes up frequently.  I hear it pop up occasionally throughout, but it's really noticable in 1:40-1:58.  It sounds like clipping, but it's not, unless it was pre-rendered clipping that got saved as an artifact.  Now that I hear it, it sounds really awful and I can't abide it. I checked on the old version as well, and it's there, too. My apologies for not catching it then.

I'm leaning towards passing this, just, but that popping has got to go.  I'd still much prefer the ending be separated out a bit; there's a lot of instrumentation there that just can't be heard. Let us appreciate your work! The arp in particular is absolutely annihilated, and could really stand to be separated out, if not shifted up an octave.

CONDITIONAL

Edited by MindWanderer
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  • MindWanderer changed the title to 2023/03/15 - (2N) Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)"

interesting opening. agree that the intro synth lick feels pretty flat. the track kind of chills around the original's arp with lots of noodling around between the lead buzzy synth, the guitar's sustains, and eventually some keys. there's a lot of intonation issues, specifically around the first lead instrument, and that's really unpleasant to listen to despite having some fun ideas it's handling.

there's a quirky break around 1:46, and after about 30s of noodling, we get some post-rock style building into a full band tone that sounds awesome as long as that out-of-tune lead doesn't play.

i actually like this a lot more than my fellow judges, i think. i found the ~90s where there was a lot of noodling around the initial arpeggio to be fun and interestingly handled. i agree that it's just a bit too buzzy to be enjoyable, and that detuned lead is just a huge fly in the ointment as well. the end is great and significant and i wish it was twice as long and had a longer tail. i think though that i'd consider this to be 'under' the bar by a little.

 

 

NO

edit 4/6: the intonation improvements on the lead that before were bad are much better, and much less bothersome. i'm good with a YES on this now. the popping artifacts that MW mentioned sound to me like artifacts from the instruments used, and while noticeable weren't bothersome to me since everything's so buzzy/artifacty as it is.

Edited by prophetik music
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I wanted to weigh in on some Standards-based issues just to clarify things. Any arrangement of a previous arrangement needs to stand apart from both the source tune and the initial version of the arrangement. This definitely does on account of this sound palette and much more dynamic contrast.

I didn't hear any dissonance and didn't mind the lead at :22. The thumps first heard at :27 are too loud. The lead at :42 could have been louder, but I still followed and focused on the melody just fine until a different lead stood out more at 1:09.

1:44 cleared up the textures and had a more open sound; I really dug the guitar tone at 2:11 a lot and wish it would have stayed longer, but with the raising of intensity at 2:24, I'll live with it. There was a buzziness tied to the chip sounds that was adding a kind of white noise that was soft enough to not be invasive, but was also adding some unnecessary clutter. From 2:38-3:07, this shouldn't have been so cluttered, and that was definitely a ding against this, but I'm also not put off by only nearly 20 seconds being iffy.

I'm more permissive than these guys on "dissonance" and having rougher edges to tracks. I didn't hear anything dealbreaking here and though this was a very well-personalized performance with some purposeful grungier sounds that still clicks just fine even if some mixing wasn't ideal. I'm not making the perfect the enemy of the good here, and this approach is cool with me.

I don't think our production bar is so high for this hobbyist community that an arrangement this interpretive should be turned down; I'm disappointed at how close-minded the NOs seem and sincerely think the bar's being placed too high here.

YES

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  • Liontamer changed the title to 2023/03/15 - (1Y/3N) Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)" *PRIORITY*
  • Liontamer unlocked this topic
  • DarkeSword changed the title to 2023/03/15 - (2Y/3N) Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)" *PRIORITY*

jmr sent a tweaked version (link in OP) with the following comments: I saw one of the main complaints was the intonation on the theremin style NES triangle parts. Quirk of the hardware - the pitch gets kinda squirrely on that channel in the upper registers. I hit the triangle parts with some pitch tweaks in melodyne. For context, I knew that part was a bit flat but accepted it because it was a limitation of the hardware I chose, and that's a good chunk of the band's aesthetic. The album was intended to be a pseudo-live recording with no major edits or things we couldn't achieve on stage, so it was left as is. Outside of the context of the album, I'm completely fine with faking it. :-)

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  • prophetik music changed the title to 2023/03/15 - (3Y/2C) Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)" *PRIORITY*

Listened to the source, original ReMix from 2009, and this 'semi-live' version a few times now. I think I prefer the 2009 version as the vibe fits the source a little better, but I definitely get what you were going for with this band sound.

Sure, it's a little rough around the edges and the frequency spectrum lacks balance in the ending section, but I'd have the same criticisms of classic grunge production (Siamese Dream by Smashing Pumpkins had awful production, and that's a cracking album anyway). This is more than good enough for a grunge-style remix, and definitely a significant style shift from the 2009 version.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna listen to the remastered version of Siamese Dream...

YES

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  • DarkSim changed the title to 2023/03/15 - (4Y/2C) Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)" *PRIORITY*
  • Liontamer changed the title to (2023/03/15) *YES - TAG* Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)" *PRIORITY*

I brought up the conditional comments to Jeff to see about possible changes, but he's got some ear issues that'll prevent him from working on stuff for a while, but he explained how the juice wouldn't be worth the squeeze there, so this is just an FYI:

Quote

Hey Larry, thanks for the update! Glad the intonation fix was received well. 

The popping sounds Chimpazilla and MindWanderer are hearing isn't clipping or some compressor error, they're clicks coming from the Game Boy pulse channels. They're not something I can fix without redoing the parts from scratch. Pop removal plugins (ie de-click or de-crackle in izotope RX10) don't play nicely with chiptune tracks and compromise the sound too much even with the lowest sensitivity settings. So yeah, those are gonna have to stay. 
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  • Liontamer changed the title to OCR04436 - *YES* Super Mario Galaxy "Meteorites and Rabbits (Ultimate Version)" *PRIORITY*
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