ReMix: Castlevania "Juese Belmont" 2:52

By Shael Riley and the Double Ice Backfire, Z.

Artist Links
chiptune collab electric-guitar funny goofy lyrics-original rock singing talking vocals-male
Arranging the music of 2 songs...

"Stalker (Tower BGM)", "Vampire Killer (Breaking Into the Castle BGM)"

Primary Game: Castlevania (Konami, 1986, NES), music by Kinuyo Yamashita, Satoe Terashima

Posted 2011-10-31, evaluated by djpretzel


While ghosts, goblins, mummies, and werewolves might be a terrifying lot, few things are more frightening than Shael Riley's imagination. In 2000, he gave us Link's groin, and eleven years later, on this most auspicious holiday, he's enlisted some help to bring us the story of the Belmont family's deep, dark secret: Juese. Mr. Riley writes:

"This is a mix by me and Suzumebachi, as Shael Riley and the Double Ice Backfire--our chiptune-rock band. Spoken-word intro by Z of, music blogger and Wired Magazine contributer. NES soundchip and vocals by me; guitar and drums by Ty."

Actually, Z. interviewed me way back in 2006, and had some really great questions. This ReMix is actually a resuscitated, much improved version of the 300th OLR, from 2005. Been a long time comin', but that's only given the legend of Juese Belmont time to grow & fester in the minds of those already familiar with the tune and may even have seen it performed live at MAGfest. That original version was released under the alias of 'Disk Mastah Smokabitch,' and that almost tells you everything you need to know, but I'll elaborate for the sport of it. Lyrics are classic, if borderline explicit towards the end, and the blend of dramatic narrative intro, chiptunes, rock, and Shael's falsetto combines for an experience you won't soon forget. How many syllables are in "Dracula," anyways? I always thought there were three... it doesn't matter, though, because I love their spatulas so much, I bought the company. While under three minutes, Shael, Ty & Z.'s tribute to the fictitious fifth Beatle of the Castlevania franchise says so very much in such a short space, it'll leave a much larger, perhaps traumatizing impression on your brain AND your Halloween.



Latest 15 comments/reviews; view the complete thread or post your own.
Martin Penwald
on 2012-01-24 15:36:20
Give me the classic OLR version!

Pretty much this. I was delighted to see Juese Belmont on the front page of OCR, but listening to this remix of the original OLR tune, I was disappointed. As many of the previous posters mentioned, the vocals lack punch and often drown in the instruments, in particular in the ORLY/YARLY section.

And considering that the vocals/lyrics have always been my favourite thing about this (back when it was first released on OLR, I fell so in love with it that I the entire text of the song got stuck in my brain in no time and has not left it since), I guess you can see where my disappointment comes from.

on 2011-12-21 19:45:33

Well, I can see why this came from OLR. But that's not a bad thing in the right crowd. This is creative and I actually hadn't heard the original before hearing this one. The delivery of those lyrics at least fit with the music, so I can dig that. The intro was great, but the ending was a bit abrupt. I will say, however, that if I had to highlight something that I really loved, it was the "oh really?" bit. It's stuck in my head.

on 2011-12-02 00:26:14

While the production quality on this mix tops the original, I think the vocal usage in this track is weaker - the use of more vocal tracks would be nice, especially in sections like the orly/yarly. It just doesn't have the same effect with Shael saying it in one breath. The mix also sounds a little overcompressed and the guitars suffer for it.

Give me the classic OLR version!

on 2011-11-18 20:47:12

The production quality on this tops the original, but I really don't think there can be any replacement in my heart for the spirit of the first Juese. 3

on 2011-11-06 15:34:32

Not a bad cover, but I gotta say... I like the original better. :P

on 2011-11-05 00:27:17

Yeah, I think the original OLR mix is a lot tighter than this version. The sound is a lot more crisp, the vocals are a lot more audible, and the beat is a lot more catchy. I do like the intro of this version up to 0:24 but the "Oh really" section at 1:07 is pretty difficult to hear clearly. Still good to revisit the song and try something different with it.

on 2011-11-04 10:13:18

jun wan 2 post up sum covers of dat good song dat just post to ocr. thought ocr could use a little flavOLR LOL


Minimal Electro Remix:

Remix.ThaSauce Mix:

Double Ice Backfire Mix:

Disk Mastah Smokabitch and Hella-Tight MC Fukkaslut 4 lyfe

on 2011-11-02 21:07:31

This is a fun song! Doesn't really seem up to OCR's quality standards these days, but I don't think that really detracts from what it is, just a fun themed song. My only real complaint is the vocals sound they were recorded on a headset mic or something. It seems like a quality recording would have added a lot to it. No big deal tho, fun stuff!

on 2011-11-02 15:34:12
could a mix get on OCR and OLR

It already happened before. :razz:

Let me state that the original OLR version was a classic if only for the lyrical content and sheer imaginative drive. Taking into account the origins, the updated version here actually shows a much more polished and thorough backing arrangement to compliment the timeless vocals, and definitely is a defining component of Shael's style for sure.

I got to say though that in spite of this, I thought the vocal delivery wasn't quite as enthusiastic or in-your-face as the original OLR version, which does make it a little bit disappointing somehow; but in spite of this, I am thankful that the legend of Juese has surfaced onto OCR.

So way to go Shael, Suzu and Z for contributing to an awesome Halloween night :D

The Radical Sifu
on 2011-11-02 15:03:58

Very happy to see Shael Riley and the Double Ice Backfire on OCR!! I've been humming their Magnet Man song for about a year .

on 2011-11-01 17:57:42

This mix is crazy lol, and at least it answers the question I was afraid to ask, could a mix get on OCR and OLR

on 2011-10-31 22:14:45

Haha, YES!

on 2011-10-31 18:22:55

I know this post isn't considered an opinion or a review, so please forgive me if it isn't the right place to say this!

Had to do a double take to make sure I was on the right website haha. This song is already a classic. I can't play castlevania anymore without hearing these lyrics in my head. Actually considered making it my ringtone in the past.

Absolutely. Every single time I play Level 2, I catch myself singing "O RLY?" over and over.

on 2011-10-31 18:17:47

Had to do a double take to make sure I was on the right website haha. This song is already a classic. I can't play castlevania anymore without hearing these lyrics in my head. Actually considered making it my ringtone in the past.

on 2011-10-31 18:09:06

I've heard the Double Ice Backfire cover, but I seriously was not expecting it to go up on OCR. AWESOME.

Sources Arranged (2 Songs)

Primary Game:
Castlevania (Konami, 1986, NES)
Music by Kinuyo Yamashita, Satoe Terashima
"Stalker (Tower BGM)"
"Vampire Killer (Breaking Into the Castle BGM)"

Tags (10)

Funny, Goofy
Chiptune, Electric Guitar, Singing, Talking, Vocals: Male
Lyrics > Lyrics: Original
Origin > Collaboration

File Information

5,095,748 bytes

Since time immemorial, the Belmont clan has stood in opposition to Dracula.

Every 100 years, Dracula would rise from his grave. A Belmont would be there to stop him.

This is the story of year 47...



Belmont too cool to fight Dracula
Put down whip and equip spatula
Can't fight Drac if the Belmont dies
Touchin' ladies' thighs to keep the name alive

Doesn't fight Dracula
Only makes pancakes
Would be a hero
He's four and a half decades late!

He's Juese

Oh, really?
Oh, really? (Nah)
Oh, really? (Nah)
Yah, really.

Oh, really?
Oh, really? (Nah)
Oh, really? (Nah)
No way!

Oh, really?
Oh, really? (Nah)
Oh, really? (Nah)
Yah, really.

Oh, really?
Oh, really?
Oh, really?
No way!

Can't fight Dracula
With a spatula
Can't fight Dracula
With a fork



People always tell me, "Belmont, be brave"
I don't know why; Drac ain't comin' back from the grave
We've got like 45 years; villagers, cool down
Got this Belmont DNA, gotta pass it around

Doesn't fight Dracula
Only fights boredom
Come on now, bachelorettes
You can't ignore him

He's Juese
He's Juese

Little bit different from the Belmont best
Don't want Medusa heads, just gimme the breasts
If she's chesty, I guess I'll get those STDs
Got a rock for my cock, ha-ha, pee-pee-pee

But that won't happen, see; always keep it protected
Have Sypha cast spells when it gets erected
Unacceptable, anything else would be
'Cause one Belmont gets chicks
And that Belmont is ME


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