Your voice sounds alright, and most of the lyrics are okay (some of the verses are great, others are VERY cliched), and the chorus could do with some re-working. The vocals are recorded well, which is a big plus, though I'd say the reverb was overused in parts. I actually expected the vocals to sound awful (not you in particular, just most amateur hip hop I hear usually ends up that way), so I was pleasantly suprised with this aspect of your remix, good job, keep at it.
The major problem is the production quality on the instrumentation. Its all very midi at the moment, and it lacks sophistication in terms of sound choice, especially the drums. You need to be more selective with your instruments, even if you're going for the organic hiphop sound. I can't suggest what in particular would sound better for your mix, but I'd suggest identifying what each part of the instrumentation is doing, and match each with an appropriate voice (audibly different to all of the other instruments). At the moment they sound like the default midi sounds, and that's no good. If you need to, there are plenty of great FREE sound-font websites which will help you out with some instruments. Play with some rhodes sounds if anything.
Vary the drums more (but don't over-do it), give them some unique sounds, a thicker 'snap and click' if you're going for 'happy'.
The actual music fits alright since the chord progression is very simple, though you'd probably get more out of it by trimming out some of the unnecessary musical flair and focusing on getting the core instruments sounding good. Once you've done that, you can reintroduce the variations where they're appropriate to the lyrics, or wherever you need to fill a bar.
What hip hop do you listen to?