Okay, I'm going to cut this reply down some since I typed it all up and then got logged out, so I lost it all.
Basically, I'm working with a limited band as far as skill-level goes for many of the players. So my basslines are going to be a bit weak except for the trombone, which I'm trying to work on. Thanks for pointing it out though. And I'm doing my best to work in more countermelodies and harmonies in the oboe and clarinet, but it's somewhat difficult since this is my first arranging task of this caliber. The only other stuff I've arranged was for pep band, so it wasn't high-scale stuff.
And DEFINITELY thanks for the percussion tips. I fixed the four-beat stuff, so the bass drum mainly accents certain parts now. And I changed up the snare drum to match the triplets in the melody. And I also already made sure that the timpani didn't stray beyond two notes (specifically the B-flat below middle C and the F below that) because we only have two. I'm hoping that the high B-flat is reachable for the ones we have since that FAQ listed it as one of the extrema of the typical range.
As far as glock, I'll keep what you said in mind. I wasn't planning on writing it in, but I will use that to decide where they will play (if they do). And I found a few spots to stick in triangle.
As far as the second piece goes, the percussion is supposed to imitate a drum set. The cymbalist is going to hold the cymbals together and another percussionist will strike the cymbals with snare sticks to imitate a high-hat (since the only section we are NOT lacking in is percussionists, lol) And the winds in that section I was trying to keep close to unison for the certain effect it gives.
Oh, and unfortunately, as far as pitched percussion, I think we are limited to the two timpani and the glock, so we don't have the option of a vibraphone or xylophone since the school has a really low budget for music (which sucks). Maybe I'll ask if we can borrow some stuff from another school in the area for our concert.
Thanks again for all the comments, especially the percussion ones since I was kinda floundering around with it, not being a percussionist myself.